The most beautiful woman of Oz,
The Good Witch.
Dark brown eyes full of innocence,
A mind naiive,
Lips that smile sweetly.

Oh Theodora,
That you should become the Wicked Witch of the West.

He didn't love you
He never did
He was a player
And fooled you
Your innocent heart
How it broke
The childish nature
Maturing with each tear

You said you'd be his queen
Give your life to him in service
Happy to do anything for him
But he ran before you had a chance

He ran and found Glinda
Glinda the Pretty Once
Father's Daughter
The Wise Witch
Creamy milk skin,
Pink cheeks,
Fair eyes
Blond hair,
How could you compete with her charms?
There was no winning the Wizard's heart now.
All hope was lost
Your dream crushed
The tears fell
Burning scars into your cheeks.

Oh Theodora.
If only you hadn't been so naiive.
Your sister Evanora is the real Wicked Witch
If only you had seen it.

She offered you an apple
Grown in hell
Poisoned with jealousy
Sweetened with hatred
She promised it would change your life forever
Change your heart
Make it impenetrable to everyone
She did not lie
And you believed

You bit into the apple
And suddenly everything was clear
Evanora lied to you for years
Glinda was the Good Witch
And you were dying.

Your heart saw clearly as it dissolved in you,
Theodora.
All that was good and innocent,
Kind and caring,
Withered and shrunk.

You became the Wicked Witch of the West,
Cruelty at its best
And jealousy at its worst
Oz betrayed you
And you wanted him to die
Along with everyone else

It's all over for you Theodora.
Oz believed there was still good inside you
That could come out someday.
He understood that he had caused you to become this
That Evanora's magic had worked on you.
You denied him.
You shouted never.
Whatever was good left was destroyed in that moment.

Theodora the Good, we mourn you.
Theodora the Wicked Witch, fear us.
You will be defeated someday.

Judy Judy Kansas cutie / it starts in the heartland / Tornado = social change through manipulated crisis / Toto the only free agent / Dorothy struck on her head by the closing window of virtual possibility / She realizes that hope'n'change have reached the prairie / Alice in Wonderland Hollywood / Kansas as futurist narrative / Star Wars pre-dated / It's a Wonderful Mythic Life / Miss Gulch as Henry Potter / Witchery in bitchery: Hillary 2016 / Scarecrow as Celtic bog-sacrifice victim / Tinman as ****** therapy client / Did that hurt? No - it felt wonderful ! / Bible-belt Pentecostal subtexts: "the anointing" / obsolete leonine monarchies / Louis Quatorze the Sun King /  enlightenment through concussion / the tyrant must be resisted from the heartland / populist progressives plot stealthily to justify their rule through the wizardry of science / the tyrant utilizes tech to manipulate the credulous / green state fascism / journey out of ontic inevitability into the futurist nightmare / eco-mammon bailouts / infantile mental midgets ruled by witch-tyrants = One World Munchkinland / Dorothy as redeemer-Messiah / Dorothy as Mary Poppins / America exports populist prophecy to the greater world / Glinda the Matriarch-Goddess / Glinda as transcendent Wisdom / the Anti-witch antidote / Patriarchy creates "special effects" subterfuge / flying monkeys: shock-troops of the witch / simian social justice warriors / Obama as Witch of West AND Wizard simultaneously / flying monkeys: brown-shirt armies of new multi-culti order / George W. Bush was the the witch the house ("Hope & Change') fell on / Over the Rainbow: somewhere beyond ****** identity grievance-mongering / There's no place like the Restoration of All Things

Long hours, late nights, many sleepless nights
Tired feet galore
Dorothy’s discarded her Ruby Slippers for shoes of glass
But Glinda kept the magic
The feminine Tin man with his girlish heart and voice
Has had a *** change now
And how a dress of mesh fits 'em oh so well

Toto was put down for eating one of the slippers
Been replaced by house keeping mice
At least they can't chew glass
Scarecrow gained prestige and balance
Those things of which he lacked
The Cowardly Lion shaved his curly mop
We still haven’t seen him since
Aunty Em gained the crown she very much deserved
Uncle Henry preferred the merchant life
Since the Wizard foresaw their separation

Now Cinderella’s in a tizzy
Her stepsisters make her dizzy
And truth be told, you never hear
She had a bit too much to drink, so near
to the ball, first dress was ripped
The other slipped far off her head when she tripped
One shoe on, the other gone
And the rest….
Well, you know.

Wandering the Yellow Brick Road,
Toto gallops at my side

The glittering Emerald City
Only a small spec on the horizon

But there is no rush, we will be there soon
Danger certainly doesn't lurk on our path

But what’s that?
A gray cloud rolling in
Over my grand escape

Surely this is the fault of the Wicked Witch
She is the cause of all trouble
In a happily untainted world

But what’s happening now?
The scarecrow?
Confused, lost
The tinman?
Cold, unloving
And the lion?
Timid, coy

But where is the wizard?
He should be arriving any moment now
He will surely help us find our way

But where is Glinda?
She knows reality will release its clutch
She will give us comfort

My fairy tale world cannot crumble
Even in the distant memory of childhood

I hope I haven’t somehow lost
My ruby red slippers along the way

The witch is dead?
Can this be?
My sister is gone,
so why am I happy?

Am I the wicked
and not the good?
Are these feelings I'm feeling
to be understood?

If the wicked do not rest
will she find her peace?
Did the evil she possess
get passed on to me?

There's a smile on my face
to mask my pain.
I will mirror the Munchins
celebration in vain.

"Ding ****!",  They cheer
parading down the road,
celebrating Dorothy
and her little dog, Toto.

She murdered my sibling
by her twisting home.
She came from Kansas
a place unknown.

Who is the child,
that is getting applause?
A demon to destroy
the Witches of Oz?

I need to send her back
with a simple spell,
back to Kansas;
back to hell.

I may be the next witch
on her list,
to eradicate
with a house that twists.

The Emerald wizard will answer her call.
For there’s no place like home, after all.

Care to elaborate?
There are so many.
Colin Kaepernick, e.g.,
Trying so hard to work the
African-American community--
A useful constituency--to wit:
Barack Obama, no stranger to *******.
Then there's Donald Trump:
Like Andy Dufresne who "crawled
Through a river of ****," he expects to
Come out "Clean on the other side."
And lest we forget: Hilary.
Mrs. Clinton uses ******* like magic.
She's Cruella Deville disguised as
Glinda the Good Witch in Oz.
Just ask Bill.

I see that bubble you roll around town in
and I can sometimes make out those mumblings,
calls of, "Looking to find my soulmate!"

Funny, vibration of laughter surrounding you
has not burst that solipsistic fizz and froth
Don't you hear yourself reverberating?

In your echoic encasement
Oh how you shine
In that mirrored concavity
And you love yourself so much

How could anyone else even come close
This is your soulmate speaking
Glinda, you haven't been a very good witch
lately

JUDY GARLAND

Sometimes I wish the wizard in his wisdom
    your future he could have seen
Then maybe he’d have made you stay in Oz
     to live out all your dreams
And Glinda might not have let you know
     by clinking your heels you could go home
If your future they could have ever known
     that your rainbow would not be lined with gold
     would they have ever let you leave Oz to go home
AND JUDY –TO ME - YOU WILL ALWAYS BE DOROTHY
     by vjkelly  for the song 'Dorothy'

I got swept up by a tornado and landed in the Land of Oz where I met the munchkins after accidentally killing the Wicked Witch of the East

Then Glinda Told me to go to Emerald City after giving me magical shoes so I can get home

And on the way I met a scarecrow who needed a brain and a tin man who needed a heart along with a cowardly lion who needed courage

And after meeting the wizard he sent us on a mission to steal The broom from the Wicked Witch of the West

And when we got in trouble I threw a bucket of water on her to save us from her wickedness and she begins to melt then we took the broom to The Wizard of Oz who happen to not be a wizard at all but really just a man with many tricks up his sleeves But he managed to keep his promises as I click my magic heels together I'm back in Kansas once more Poem By Shelby Kathleen Nightingale

Why so kinda
the good witch
Glinda but you're the
Big broom spender
Hail or Rain the Queen
of Splenda

You have some horsewhip of
Spring rain hairdo we represent
Lolipop land so dipsy do I

The munchkin land Love me do
We need to take a stand
You know I love you
Dunkin Donuts small cup is
Not to buy my hand if you will
But wait I've been
rained upon to love me so

Group Kiss
Missed her lips, not such
an angel the concert rained
acid trips
So naive rain-bath  went over
your sleeve like Scientology
meeting Uncle Sam
Was so devoted

When you have a job
Get in the rain with him
Your rain trickled you
got promoted

She's more fickle but not
to be trusted
Mom always buys those
Kosher dill pickles
Her kids were allergically
tricked I raced her got a freckle

Doing a Taylor swift
high note key
Or wearing her flat's
Lotto rain win  you trickled his chin
The veranda at Fort William
Henry  Lake George the brave
I am Henry the eighth I am
Living with eight wives
flood palace sneak

She sings like a health
nut water freak

Malevolent Queen Jolie
was so tickled pink

Had a horrible dream
like you lost your middle
finger when the rain trickled
down the glass

His cowboy hat VIP rodeo pass
Cowgirl split money/rain
The wedding rain beliefs
  Those fire chiefs
Rain is a good thing sleet
Couldn't get the  fire out
Near her feet piles of wet
leaves

PA cops with meter tickets
You were all engaged
in both of your pool eyes

Cousin Vinny plays
bocci ball
eightball court cases
Her biological clock
is ticking
My Teressa or
Mother Teressa
Myrtle Beach

The sea-curtain tortoise
Your lips have
more purpose at his reach
You took a
Toyota ride the rain trickled
down he was pleasantly
poping
your back female form
And the outcropping
What a boy toy

Green bucket rain
***** Spacek
Kevin Spacey
leaking through the
movie
screen
He let out some viper rubber
she's a tear trickled high
up the ladder

Let's look into the science
of things hard of hearing
kiss me dancing in the rain

The anatomy of the sun
Do you miss me age spots
What evaporates the rain
He crushed your gem
Like a deadman he devoured them
We live to drink 8 glasses a+ day
Playing 8 ***** or crazy eights
I rather take my umbrella
Drinking spring rain cup
All my problems with
unnecessary weight
The diet lipstick
Makes your lips
watered but skinny

And he's screaming
wheres my
shaving cream
What happened to you
last night

I am tired of hearing
The same speed
I am way faster
The quickie stars
Never will I wear a girdle
Playing tennis with his racket
His reflection I saw these hurdles
I will get better affection
From my slow turtles

I do not understand why
they are running in your
tears of the puddle
back to you in your direction

for upcoming June 2023 inspection/violation.

Countdown triggers nails
bitten down to quick
geesh if only Mary Poppins
could pull off cheap trick
or think super tramping Glinda courtesy
film Wizard of Oz
Good Witch of the North
riding at light speed in nick
of time travelling on her

state of the art broomstick
unfortunately they
long since retired courtesy
formerly the Banks residence rather slick
at 17 Cherry Tree Lane, London England
ruler of the Quadling Country
South of the Emerald City,
and protector of Princess Ozma
holed up in their respective bailiwick.

Rural housing authority
requires every occupant
renting an apartment
to have their living space inspected yearly
deemed safe and secure place to live
scheduled to place here
at 2 Highland Manor
on Tuesday June 13th
Wednesday June 14th
and Thursday June 22nd.

Hence unpleasant inspection
scheduled at least once per year.

A trio of persons
comprising Property Manager
Regional Property Manager
and Maintenance Man
(Pamela Floreen, Lia Varley Wacker,
and Richard Jette respectively).

A loud rap on the door
signals their unwelcome arrival
(cue suspenseful music)
before their collective
(soulful) gaze turns toward:
the kitchenette, stealing
a peek (rifle) into refrigerator, at stove,
cupboards, assessing utility room
housing hot water heater
testing smoke detector in bedroom

scanning bathroom
all the while reserving right
to take pictures
inside our master quarters
where we feel enslaved,
whereby absolute zero
personal property we utilize
not considered off limits
to inquisitive troupe constituting
above identified higher ups
if necessary to hire 1-800-GOT-JUNK.

Now no time for shriving sergeants
to craft inane verse,
cuz tis down to brass tacks
yours truly cannot relax
until he and the wife
align figurative ducks
courtesy ventriloquism acts
issues convincing quacks,
plus suddenly magically enlivened
neatly arrayed knickknacks
(give your dog a bone)

threatened with receiving
bonafide paddy whacks
if said tchotchkes misbehave
and exhibit buffoonish antics
subsequently summoned,
instructed, and commanded
to complete x squared jumping jacks
otherwise sent to fabled boot camp
superfluous unwanted playthings
recruited by Salvation Army
filling out ranks
of toy story abominable barracks.

Aforementioned title and following
little known verses of Matthew
finds me feeling squeamish,
peevish, anguish, et cetera
at our (the missus and mine) digs,
cuz low income rental housing regulations
require safe and secure place to live,
hence unpleasant inspection
scheduled at least once per year
here at 2 Highland Manor Drive
between 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M.,
the last Wednesday of June 2022
when worse fate than death befalls us.

A triumvirate of persons
also known as
(the warden, zaftig and mister snitch)
comprising Property Manager
Regional Property Manager
and newly hired Maintenance Man respectively
will rap on the door or ring sorry excuse for bell
(cue suspenseful music)
before their collective gaze turns toward:

the kitchenette, stealing
a peek into refrigerator, stove,
cupboards, testing our patients
assessing utility room
housing hot water heater
testing smoke detector in bedroom
scanning bathroom
all the while reserving right
to take pictures
inside our unit if necessary.

No matter the missus and me
experienced aforementioned inspection
at least half a dozen other instances
since we lived here circa July 1st, 2017
(plus or minus a decade – ha),
which state inspection
explains metered emission
synonymous with violation,
whereby absolute zero
personal property we utilize
not considered off limits
to inquisitive troupe constituting
above identified higher ups
(reference made to aforementioned
motley management crew).

Now no more time for inane verse,
cuz tis urgent we get down to brass tacks,
yours truly cannot relax
until he and the wife
align figurative ducks in a row
courtesy ventriloquism acts
issuing convincing quacks,
plus suddenly magically enlivened
neatly arrayed knickknacks
threatened with receiving

bonafide paddy whacks
if said tchotchkes misbehave
and exhibit buffoonish antics
subsequently summoned,
instructed, and commanded
to complete x squared jumping jacks
otherwise sent to fabled boot camp
superfluous unwanted playthings
recruited by Salvation Army
filling out ranks of toy story barracks.

Countdown triggers nails
bitten down to quick
golly gosh if only Mary Poppins
who still appears rather gracefully slick
(especially during rainy weather)
at 17 Cherry Tree Lane, London England
could pull off cheap trick
or think super tramping Glinda
protagonist courtesy film Wizard of Oz
Good Witch of the North

ruler of the Quadling Country
South of the Emerald City,
and protector of Princess Ozma
riding her reo speedwagon
at light speed in nick
of time (in case of flat tire)
she will travel on her
state of the art broomstick,
but unfortunately said
courteous wonder women

long since retired though the former
still residing in her dotage
at the Banks residence,
nevertheless in an emergency
either one or the other
willingly avail themselves
providing freelance capering
constituting steep consulting fee services
while comfortably holed up
in their respective bailiwick.

Woebegone and egg foo young on you
meaning me of course
sidestepping a crucial positive
electric kool aid battery acid test
prior to pledging troth,
and tying Gordian knot
to strangulation point,
never fending for myself,
nor being disaster about to happen.

I did house/pet sit when parents
went away on their time sharing vacation
minimally satisfyingly jump/
kick starting, placating, compensating
for dashed ***** state
offering smattering of taste
regarding all those unrealized
golden (gated) opportunities.

Case in point conducting,
honoring, liberating unstinting pyromaniac
kindling burning man within me  
continuously aggravating, enraging, and inflaming
Lower Providence fire department.

When roaring towering inferno
crept frightfully close to nearby houses,
yours truly banked on his guardian angel
rescuing me as smoldering tinder
spread like... what else wildfire.

The dolled guise firewoman incarnate
none other than Mary Poppins,
who still appeared rather gracefully slick
(especially during rainy weather)
at 17 Cherry Tree Lane, London England
could pull off cheap trick
or think super tramping Glinda
protagonist courtesy film Wizard of Oz
Good Witch of the North
ruler of the Quadling Country

South of the Emerald City,
and protector of Princess Ozma
riding her reo speedwagon
at light speed in nick
of time (in case of flat tire)
she will travel on her
state of the art broomstick,
but unfortunately said
courteous wonder women
long since retired though the former

still residing in her dotage
at the Banks residence,
nevertheless in an emergency
either one or the other
willingly avail themselves
providing freelance capering
constituting steep consulting fee services
while comfortably holed up
in their respective bailiwick.

After extinguishing blaze,
she and her sidekick The Cat In The Hat,
who just showed up out of thee blue (flame)
briefly secretly conferred
before delivering merriment
to drudgery of housekeeping chores
training, loosing, and applying
their joint secret powers
both as domestic facilities managers.

They gingerly launched, pitched,
tackled traditional domestic disaster,
with collective snap, crackle, and pop
of handy dandy magic fingers
before disappearing themselves.

A sudden whoosh rectified
messy living quarters
overflowing with countless generations
well fed healthy energized dust bunnies
automatically relegated and swept into dustbin
suppressing urge to boastfully brag
to nobody in particular.

Whistling while I worked
yours truly simultaneously  
cooked gourmet cuisine
excelling serving culinary house
special of the day,
qua charcoal brisket ala burnt offerings,
potchkying, scalding yours truly
courtesy untimely uncovering
pressure cooker, or weathering
comedy of errors
flipping upside down

all's well that ends well,
or experiencing severe
irreparable psychological trauma,
vis a vis creating hell's kitchen
house of horrors, mortal mishaps,
world wide webbed
series of unfortunate events,
or shenanigans deemed rite of passage
including indulging sybaritic life
linkedin with living single
fancy free and footloose,

thus imperative for this bard
to compensate aforementioned loss
postulating poetically
prevaricating potschking
as chef boyardee
envisioning, speculating, ruing
laundering with excess detergent
feigning enjoying drowning,
actually playfully wallowing
within sea of bubblicious sudsiness,
Spongebob Squarepants would die for
(unless he happens tubby in Darfur,

no particular rhyme nor reason),
while there purchasing
for this unassuming
devil who wears prada
mine surprise constituting
red badge of courage
surviving helter skelter welter
trials and tribulations
knowing I got true grit
accruing commensurate
valuable salient self survival skills
unexpectedly apprenticed with a book deal.