I see the grey over Reno, From my window on top of my mind, The greycast feels over this town, Like fingers of gold feeling a head, As the down is placed down, Its fall and winter intertwined, And its on everybody's mind, We all here for reasons we don't want to say, So we all stay, Looking at the lights, and the vacation, We look at them like a ****** looks at *******, Full of wonder and hope, Yet outside our grey place we wouldn't beable to cope, "its raining in Reno and it won't ever stop", Said the ***** to the cop, As the sun began to rise, A poet writes, A knowitall admits it lost it's love during the fall, A singer and business man on a teenager lookout fumble nervously with buttons and zippers, While a Cinderella wonders how hell find her without loosing her slipper, A lover looks at her lust through the oversized windows on the bus, An awkward kid stays awake, wondering if he could be smooth, A girl with beautiful eyes, walks down the street with headphones playing jazz, A honest man question his lies, And an old woman and a young actor are singing a tune long dead, But they can't get each other out their head, All looking at the grey, Almost to say, Its always going to be this way

My biggest hope,
collides with my greatest love,
what is there to cope,
when the realest thing you know,
is your greatest foe,
your greatest dream,
clashing with your greatest desire,
setting your soul on fire,
I just am split,
needing to think and sit,
voice getting low,
and them trying to make you feel like your the world,
but my world was building up to it,
bit by bit,
I have craved them,
but there is no going back,
because my heart doesnt know truth from fact,
I want to have it the most,
to beable to boast,
saying, "this is mine world and it will be greater than I could ever dream",
stuck inside which side to fight for and which side to lean,
I need to contemplate,
which one is right,
which one will be with me in the end of the night,
they have experienced the awesome bliss,
of someone that they always miss,
and I am just standing still,
what happens when you have to decide your thrill,
to decide your future on one or more,
there is no rhyme to help, no score,
so I just end up feeling sore,
and sad,
because I have to decide between a love I dont want to let go,
or a son or daughter I may never know.

Don't say a word because it's written all over your face,
Far too long have you been stuck in this desolate place,
Its ok I know trust me I've been there before,
And all I use to do was knock on the door,
Wondering and waiting for anyone to answer,
Plagued by stress negativity was my cancer,
I don't regret a thing because the dark made me see the light,
And being wrong for so long helped me get my mind right,
The grip of depression isn't as tough as it appears,
You drive your own life so why don't you steer?
There is a way out just think postive and love,
Then suddenly comes a sign from above,
You are not a lost cause or a loser, never was,
I wish I was there now so i could give you a hug,
You try and you try and still you can't do,
Sometimes you can't believe this is really you,
Well I tell you it's not, relax and you're not alone,
We are all just trying to follow the bread crumbs home,
And you'll always beable to find a friend in me,
Your own true beauty is what I can't wait for you to see,
Don't give up yet I know you can find a way,
And just know I'll be here to help untill that faithful day!

This is my secret garden.

It is very well hidden and only I have the key to the doorway that is to be found by me only,

Or is it even there for real?

and so off I go

and inside of me I tremble to think that such a place is there awaiting me

And now it is I that stands here in front of this jagged fence that sticks out from in front of a hollowed out log

And so inside of here I must beable to gain entrance to for I dearly need all that lies so inside of there

And into the keyhole I glide this my key
And instantly I am there
Inside of my secret garden

And lilies and larkspurs and hollyhocks are now dancing as to send out their very welcome and to make me feel at home,

But I am now standing shattered inside of me
for I wanted to make a wish upon my favorite flower the dandelion

But it is far past too late

For there are only those strands of what once was a blossom

And a rabbit now darts out in front of  me and grabs it out of my hands
and I kneel down in the very grass and I start to cry,

For he has destroyed all that I came inside of here for

For what he took away from me were all dreams and wishes that once were spoken inside of that magical flower of long long ago.

jo.

1 A rolling stone gathers no dust.

2. Life is a song yet to be written.


3. No one wants what you do not have.


4. A page unturned leaves you restless.


5. Instinct tells you nothing, for you never want what you fail to see.


6. Doubting yourself leaves you inside out of something that was once there but you failed to allow yourself the freedom of it.


7. I stand alone in the forest but not a tree quivers for this me that fails to hear what these my eyes never do see.


8. Alone you never are for you are a part of something greater then you.


9. The sea is always filled with water while this my glass is always half filled.


10. The stars are always there, but then why is it that we all fail to see the midnight sky.


11. You see and feel the beauty of the sun but fail to beable to look at it without darkening your palest eyes.


12. The violin quakes your heart but you never come to feel the strings as they stretch out to greet you.

jo.

why is there so many faces of hate, so many reasons not too but follow the ones who taught you, to, hate. we are not born this way, to live a life filled with angering decay>our first breath was made for love crying for what , so many peopl run from. yet our human path was set, we  the life as good as death. fake plastic people revolveing door in the labor and delivry room , revolving door at the cementary and morgue. We lived this life striving for what?. to be cast down and judged. I fought my whole angasnt your hate and racism. I wonder would it been like if i wasnt hated for the color of my skin. i wonder what it wuold be like if i wasnt hated for the clothes i wear, or the tattoos that tell a story. I wonder what if would be like aif iwasnt hated for being alive.Never will the wounds of your hate and the words you say, beable to removed the scarsof your way. i m fovever changed , marked tattooed internally, emtional brutality , The worl have somany people on it most have different faces, rarely do we see these their faces of love. i wonder what it would be like if i wasnt hated , but loved. A true love like from above yet able to touch . I know i thought i experiecned humans abiblty to love, but it was a dream , a lie i chose to belive . This human race with forever hurt eachother rather then love. Its sounds crazy, that  our humanity uses fear to gain wealth and popularity. for selfish end , the common man , turn thier back and say  **** a friend. what is your price i ask you to think , is your comfortable Hate really what you wan to believe .Take off your mask , unviel your face, take a good look at love in all the human race, for how stupid can you be, to hate a whole race of people, because of a lie you choseing to believe. I wonder what it would be like to live this life not being hated for the color of my skin, i have experienced thier hate, and racist ways. yet i still stand , i still fight.... i will not laydownand walk in the masses of lies,, even though my skin is white. A white man?over privledge, white boy, always has an easy life?Now thats a lie i ask you all to dispize. it would be wise for us rto open our eyes, see the lives, like mine

Inside me there is a evil that grows when my anger grows i lose contol and go insaine.

Lets play a game a game of ******* up peoples minds

The demons will play so will i agame you will never beable to survive


On my body my mind will scream for how may weeks i havent slept


Night go by awake all night with nothing but the engery of life


Your regrets are real its time let the demons escape into reality letting the ugly side of you terrize the life you chose to live



My pure heart is what has kept me alive no evil could break my pure heart the leads and guides me threw the gates of living hell




Lets play a game a game of twisted minds will you dare to play the game of twistdd minds unleashing your evils ugly side out



I thing you should you will purify your own self and let your wounds heal


Will you like to play my game and see what will arrive

I look in the mirror and someone else stars back
Scared of change
but here we are
standing in the middle of the void
Hair dye to fix my problems
The name that I'm to scared to reqest
because I look nothing like it
I cant see myself
but then wasnt I always blind
Im trapped inside this body
who am I
will I ever beable to ansewr that
One step is all it would take
and yet fear holds me back