Maybe tonight I'll go to sleep
And not wake from my rest
For here I lie in full defeat
My heart ripped from my chest
Within your hands it clearly beats
Although would not have guessed
You'd steal my love just like a cheat
A fool simply for jest

Open your heart
Let go of fear
no wasted thoughts
if others care
To dance and play
Or paint and sing
your heart is filled
The joy it brings
This beauty is
what matters most
No more nightmares
And haunting ghosts
A big mistake
in life to make
To foolishly
For granted take
True value much
Like currency
Eyes often shut
And can not see
Our family, friends
Those who are close
The ones we love
And cherish most
With them time spent
Cannot be faked
These moments are
What memories make
And that is what
Life's all about
It's not that hard
To figure out
Sure you can build
Mountains of toys
Aquire things
And find some joy
But what you feel
Will quickly leave
You'll cry in pain
As you bereave
Yet sadder still
You never knew
What matters most
A love that's true
Cause shiny things
May make you smile
That only lasts
A little while
An instant fix
Is what you sought
An instant fix
Is what you got
Like getting high
It did feel good
But not the way
That true love could
It's lacking depth
Was empty, shallow
Sent down stream
Without a paddle
Love does not
Only exist
Inside the arms
Or lover's kiss
In any place
It can be found
With open eyes
You'll look around
A subtle smile
A stranger gives
Can be the light
So someone lives
Of course much less
Dramatic still
Small gesture or
Act of good will
When reaching out
With open heart
And open mind
Great way to start
Just stay the course
And follow through
Cause what you'll find
Surprise to you
The love and all
The kindness shown
To others gift
But returned home
The happiness
you freely delt
Inside you swelled
Makes your heart melt

Where have I been?
Why have NOT I been here?

It's a reason,
an answer,
not simple or clear

Pause and stop for a moment
and try to explain
as I drift off into
the expanse of my brain

Sort of been in a lull
Kind of stuck in a rut
No ambition; desire
Don't want to do much
I’ve been lacking consistency;
without consensus
Once driven and disciplined
Vanished; off they went

Some time I’ve chased after
without much success
If by chance I recaptured;
escaped and they left
Once entrenched qualities;
have transformed into bubbles
Their memories -
a dream
As my life turns to rubble

A child I am
chasing frantically after
while further each drifts
out of reach
as they scatter

Ask,
"Where have I been?"
More like,
"Where am I now?"
‘Cause I live in a world
with a hovering shroud

No persistence of rain
More an absence of sun
There's no presence of pain
But is vacant of fun
Putting paper with pen
Situation is clear
Like a therapy session
Pull curtain;
I peer

Psychotherapy works
Hidden things can appear
Driven crazy;
berserk,
like a ship you can't steer

A continuous game,
one that can not be won
Somewhat hard to explain
Like a program that's run

Piece of clothing that's stained
Been there since time begun
And no way to contain
The past can't be undone
Pulling at it you tear
to remove all the faults
but you never get near;
locked away in the vault

Bang away at the door
Combination is lost
Feel despondent,
defeated,
and just at a loss
Where you give up all hope
There’s no way you can win
Sinking down to the bottom
It ends and begins…

-
-
-

Here alone in the darkness,
at first, you’re afraid
and wallow in pity
this “mess” you have made

While confined in a box
It’s a self-given coffin;
recluse who’s closed off
Made a space can’t get lost in

You wither and rot
in this counterfeit grave
Also, time to reflect
on the choices you’ve made

Loneliness not a friend;
Solitude can be one
Introspective -
a teacher
A valuable one

Near impossible to
fix what can not be seen
Not the visible lines
but what’s hidden between
Archaeologist digging
deep down in the dirt
Resurrecting the fossils
of buried down hurt

Everyone has a closet
with skeletons in
They are not all the same
in their size or within
But ignoring and locking away never works
You must get your hands *****
and dig in the dirt

Facing demons or sitting in darkness for most
conjures feelings of horror
like seeing a ghost
Though denial feels warm
like it might be a friend
Just like 'Brute',
it stabs in the back in the end

So, if life’s got you down
then it’s time to get up
I’m not saying it’s easy
Dig down and get tough
It is known that the night’s
darkest right before dawn
In the moment you’re weakest
you’ll soon become strong

Like a pendulum swing
or the changing of seasons
When pushed to extreme
then it just goes to reason
A rebounding force
very soon will attack
And all battle ground lost;
rightfully taken back

When you’ve given up hope;
just about to give in
At the end of your rope
Feel it’s time to say “when”
Meditate into silence;
cut everything out
Hear that voice from inside
with a WARRIOR shout!

If you listen
the universe will direct you
It has knowledge
and one
most important of clues
Like the phase of the moon
or the flow of the tides
there’s a cyclical pattern
all things must abide

When the mountain top’s reached,
one can only go down
You can swim at the beach
or give up
and then drown

Everything ebbs and flows
It’s the nature of all
So remember this lesson
when you’re feeling small

When that final point’s reached,
only one way to go
Now get back on your feet!
With this knowledge
you know
You will be hurt no more
‘cause that time’s "come and gone"
In the darkness no more

Now it’s time for the dawn!

I live in a world filled with empty lies and broken promises.
People projecting a facade like cheap veneer.
And here I am, a living contrarian following popular beliefs.
A paradoxical quagmire lost in the fog
while also grabbing my hand and leading me forth with guidance

Wanting what I can't have
And having what I don't want

I am a living contradiction

Often feeling like I am a real life theatrical performance
The true meaning of comedy and tragedy
But is it all real or just the show inside my head?

We see each other time to time
New recently, old friend of mine
Each separately caught in a vice
Having same goal; make the world nice
And neither man would be naive
or gullible that he'd believe
Our World is Just, and a fair place
While living lives that are disgraced

If ears I've bent; a tale for thee
Crooked it's not or make believe
Beginning of a good tale goes
'Twas once upon a time or so'
In kingdom far as eyes could see
There lived two sets of Kings and Queens
Empires reaching far and vast
Not once before had their lives past

Each King sat high upon his throne
Great charity; for this was known
So much so that they were renamed
Not shying from spotlight and fame
"King Midas"; the title given
A moniker by far fitting
Not hands held out but standing near
Closest of "friends" quite insincere

Always there was one if not two
Surrounded themselves with a crew
On shoulders they would carry him
That's when the ending would begin
A life that's full; would self-indulge
Within his pants they'd spot the bulge
Eyes growing wide; hearts filled with lust
And with each other fought and fussed

To surpass this, nothing exists
Not one thing higher on the list
Of aphrodisiacs is known
Gets them to beg and wail or moan
The thickness almost splits the seems
Allowing one to see the green
No, not the Hulk but it's a beast
Maker of wars; killer of peace
In their hands wanted, once they see
The thick stack of luscious money

But once the tide begins to turn
Since through that money they had burn
They're quick to leave or toss him off
If he needs them, replied in scoff
A man of wisdom, thought he was
Life filled with pain, so get a buzz
For you numbing will guarantee
All of the hurt will quickly leave

Not many pains greater than this
Seductive is betrayal's kiss
There's strength in numbers; that is true
In time of need they will leave you
To foot the bill; To pay the price
Not just with money; With your life
As struggles hit and hardships fall
No one will help ; No one to call

Oh how the mighty have fallen
Coyotes lunge; Vultures mauling
When tripped up started to stumble
Offering help? Instead they pummeled
Never thought life would be this
If only one answered his wish
They saw him fall; they could have helped
Instead they kicked him as he knelt

He staggered, trying to get up
Himself gather; that's when they struck
And pushing him much further down
Each strike drove closer to the ground
They were his friends or so he thought
But wasn't real; short time was bought
A shattered man left in their wake
Cause not one minute they could take

There was a chance he could bounce back
Changing the course; get life on track
Instead he can't cut from himself
The concrete block that was his wealth
Tremendous love that he had once
Family and friends; played for a dunce
He was a fool for he believed
Was innocent; Somewhat naive

Thought people, by nature, were good
But found evil in its place stood
If warning received at the start
Could stop them from breaking his heart
As a blind man, kindness he dealt
They took advantage; Stole with stealth
A hard life but there's no amount
His values would never discount

No dollar sum he would receive
Where morals or integrity
He'd have to waiver; Put on pause
These are the most important "laws"
Dictating for the world to know
No matter what you say or show
This "takes the cake" and it transcends
Can't justify or spin and bend

His character; What makes a man
Can knock him down but he'll still stand
It doesn't matter what's served up
All might be gone; World takes your stuff
But no way for these to be stripped
Naked and starved with heart that's ripped
He goes forward with smiling face
"I am not them"; The ones disgraced

She loves me
She loves me not
She ***** me
Then I'm forgot
She dumps me
But still I'm caught
Took from me
All that I've got

Quite funny
Yet also not
Days sunny
Now just a thought
A bright dream
That I have lost
Was once sweet
But turned to rot

There is love in this world
I’m quite sure it exists
But each day all I see
Is the venom we spit
Not a fact that is true
During times face to face
Blatantly not displayed
When we share the same space

It’s much different — the world
Pictured on my TV
So much hatred and anger
We’re fed constantly
This not done by mistake
It’s a view-point that’s skewed
Days are lost and forgotten
Of unbiased news

In a way it’s an outcome
That’s obvious though
After all, they're a business
Competing to grow
Their conglomerate masks
— To confuse purposely —
Help conceal the ubiquitous
Corporate I.D.


But before I begin
To get into all that
How 'bout where currently
Social media's at
Dude, the polarization
Is out of control
People talk but don't listen
So, how can they grow?

There are those type of people
Who always complain
Constant ranting on Facebook
“The world's gone insane”
Sharply pointing their fingers
At others to blame
With a mind that's closed off
Never willing to change

Thus, myopically they
Venture out in the world
Base reality skewed
Thoughts of others — “absurd”
In their brains, nothing new
As they follow the herd
Those who think like they do
Are the ones that get heard

Constant posting of thoughts
But their goal not to find
What is factually true
Or to open their minds
Seeking others with whom
Rhetoric they opine
All who share the same view;
Somehow thinking that's fine


A time not long ago
When engaged socially
Often effort was made
As a slight courtesy
Certain topics you stayed
Far away from to keep
Things polite and in no way
Profane or obscene

Like religion or money
Such topics, taboo
Politics — the trifecta –
One should avoid too
In mixed company
Talk of such things would be rude
Due to strong held beliefs
In a cinch; start a feud

But today we’re ‘connected’
And openly share
Every thought in great detail
We do without care
Not a second is taken
To stop and just think
Acting on every impulse
‘The Kool-Aid’, we drink

Taking sides; choosing teams
Mindset — “Them versus us”
If you think like I do
Then, you’re someone I trust
Else, you’re ‘foe’ — ‘opposition’
I spit at and cuss
You become less than human
And here lies the crux


You may have an opinion
Or strong held belief
About various topics
Obscure or decreed
But when faced with somebody
Who doesn't agree
Do you take time to listen
Or just wait to speak?

You’re entitled to feel
And to think like you do
These same rights must extend;
Other people get too
Disagreeing is fine
Might not share the same view
But each other respect
It’s a simple virtue

Just because I have thoughts
Not aligning with yours
Doesn’t give you permission
To pull out a sword
A belief is by nature
What’s held in our core
Each is free to believe
This, endowed when we’re born


And with this I must add
Aggregating a thought
You think “different” is bad
When in truth, it is not
There’s a reason ‘vanilla’
Is used as cliché  
“Variety’s the spice of life”
— As they say

All our differences truly
What makes humans great
Shared opinions discussed
And put up for debate
But like cooking a meal;
Serving many who ate
Perhaps some don’t enjoy
Yet, for many “It’s great!”

So, kick back and relax
There is no need to stress
What you feel and conclude
May not be like the rest
But alone or in pack
Your thoughts make up what’s YOU
Suppositions, impressions
And your points of view

If you have strong beliefs
Publicly that you share
Doing so with conviction
There’s no need to fear
Realize opposition
Must also prepare
We can argue; debate
Just please, “Handle with care”

Therefore, I’ll respect you
I ask please, respect me
After all, we’re all people
Our thoughts should be free
We can think how we want
Basic truth — we decree
It’s a right shared by all
Like the air that we breathe

I'm tired
Of fake rainbows and fools gold
Of the best of intentions with little to no action
Of giant smiles through biting teeth

I'm tired
Of caring too much and not caring enough
Of either feeling helpless or hopeless
Of running myself in circles while not doing a thing

I'm tired
Of all the warning signs being there but no one seeing a need to warn
Of innocence lost and hope forgotten
Of lotteries with no winners, just losers

I'm tired
Of those with blame being held blameless
Of all the finger pointing but never introspective
Of an endless need to consider everyone's feelings while simultaneously no one cares

I'm tired
Of dishonesty from those in positions of power
Of distrustful actions from those we're expected to trust
Of money buying impunity

I'm tired
Of being too lazy to have patience
Of being part of the problem and not part of the solution
Of trying to deal with my paranoia when someone's clearly out to get me

I'm tired
Of endless waves of pity but never an open heart
Of technology connecting us yet making us less connected
Of the traditional definition of 'face-to-face time' replaced with things like Facebook or FaceTime

I'm tired
Of togetherness only after we've been divided
Of lives of youths spent by a misspent youth
Of tragedy happening without warning with clear warning signs

I'm tired

Of no one being able to agree and that's the only thing agreed upon