nat: Favorites

Feb 2015 nat

Untitled

Feb 2015 nat

s

Untitled

In the pitch black night I lay awake
Staring at this stupid
Screen typing
Another
Stupid
Poem
To
Be
Forgotten

#forget #poems

Feb 2015 nat

numb

Feb 2015 nat

s

numb

Sleepless nights
I get consumed in my thoughts
I get tired
I sit here listening to music trying to distract myself from myself.
Notes leaking into my ears just whisking up my already mixed up mind.
It doesn't work
It makes it worse
The shadows of the night eat at my mind until I have shadows where my brain used to be.
I feel numb
Except kind of a deeper feeling than numb
It's undescribable
It's a feeling of terror
Its a feeling of failure
Its a feeling of loneliness
Its a feeling of being so done with everything inside of yourself.
I guess it's not numb
Its careless
It hurts
And when you want it all to be over that's when it gets the worst.
I am so sorry if you have ever felt like this
No one deserves to feel like this
Except me.

{SM}

This is a jumbled mess of thoughts its 12:30am and I can't sleep

#sad #lonely #depressed #numb

Feb 2015 nat

What are you saying?

Feb 2015 nat

Meliss

What are you saying?

I hate it when
People tell you what is true
As if it's a fact
Not a matter of opinion.
I hate it when they say,
"You never know."
Because they're right.
Yet, not really.
"You will never know"
When you'll meet the one.
Sure.
"You will never know"
What will change your life.
Okay.
"You will never know."
Just because I'll never know
What can and will happen
Or what can't and won't happen
Doesn't mean I can't live
Or plan
Or do something differently.
Never knowing is what allows us
To dream.

Dec 2014 nat

Let's Go Home, Wherever That Is

Dec 2014 nat

holyoak

Let's Go Home, Wherever That Is

are you afraid of parking garages
do you think of empty parking spaces
with empty cars beside them
like your own compartmentalized mind
do the empty spaces scare you
like my own scare me
are you afraid of the dust
are you afraid of the ghosts
sitting where people once were
are you afraid of parking garages
are you afraid of the lonely silence
are you afraid of the concrete walls
that are more solid than anything
that you have ever created
are you afraid
that you'll be just as cold
just as lifeless
are you afraid of parking garages
are you afraid of where they take you
are you afraid of the airports
that you always end up in
missing those that never come back
are you afraid of parking garages
are you afraid that you'll park
and that you'll never leave
are you afraid of parking garages
are you afraid of the flickering lights
and your own shadow
bouncing in front you
are you afraid of going somewhere
and never coming home
are you afraid of your home
and when they asked you where home is
did you stutter
because you almost said someone's name
instead of a place
or is your home that parking garage
blank and grey
empty and hollow
are you afraid of parking garages

[holyoak]

Nov 2014 nat

I Will Not Shout You From The Rooftops

Nov 2014 nat

holyoak

I Will Not Shout You From The Rooftops

i didn't want to turn you into a poem
i didn't want you to be my muse
you've ruined my mind and my pen
you've made me blind to inspiration
i can't hold the pages still anymore
i can't understand my own writing
your hair isn't a waterfall
your eyes aren't deep oceans
i'm not held here by your gravity
i'm not sure that your voice is music
you won't own me
i won't turn you into poetry

[holyoak]

Nov 2014 nat

Heartbeats

Nov 2014 nat

Alberto Ruiz

Heartbeats

All I see, when I close my eyes
And dream

Is that I'm falling.

Yeah
     I'm
          Falling

For you.

The one who takes
my breath away
but leaves me with
more life instead,
for now my heart beats
for the girl who
leaves a sunrise
in her wake
and forms a melody
within my soul
that sings of good
still in this world
and joy beyond
what the most beautifully crafted
words could show.

The one who makes
the stars burn bright at night
and yet whose tired eyes
inspire
and make any other sight

dull,

and now when my heart beats
it is for her.

[ARH]

Nov 2014 nat

I Don't Need A Gun To Take Over The World

Nov 2014 nat

holyoak

I Don't Need A Gun To Take Over The World

no one believes in me
no one thinks that i can see what i want to be
no one thinks i can do even one thing on my own
they say i have no ambition
that i left home with no ammunition
to fight in a war of attrition
with no foreseeable outcome
but i'm not cattle to be herded
i am a voice to be heard
and listened to
i will accomplish so many things
i will set out to be anything
i will be set on the highest pedestal
my life will not be some humorous spectacle
my dreams are so much more than skeletal
i'm more than the hollowed out bones that no one knows
where nothing but emptiness grows
because you don't know me
you don't see that i'll be free to scream
so take me from these demons
i am no longer the old shirt
left hanging in your closet
i am no longer a speck of dirt
floating aimlessly for you to witlessly grasp at me as i head to see the minds that i can change
my voice will be heard from the high heavens to the depths of hell
my words will mend the broken skin that we all live in
my ideas will free us from the suffering and the covering of our eyes
and i will not just be believed in
i will be known
and you'll wish i could see you

[holyoak]