I'm stuck

walking towards something that you don't believe in,
seeking the non-existent possibility.

Love.

You say that I'm beautiful
that you want every last part of me.

But if that is true,
why am I left out in the dark calling your name?

You've abandoned me,
to suffer a perpetual existence
between being happy in love
or
left to live without it.

You know I won't leave you,
so you put me on your shelf
to be taken out on your rainy days,
because,
to you,
my love is simply a toy to play with.

Those rainy days are my best,
being played with and getting your attention
makes me soar.

It gives me hope that maybe,
someday,
I won't be put back on the shelf.
That my love will be enough for you.

And until that day,
or the day I break,
I will sit happily on your shelf,
collecting dust

Waiting for my love to be returned by you in it's fullest.
My one and only.

You taste sweet
Like chocolate kisses and fresh raindrops
You're a warm ray of sunshine
Tickling the cooled skin on my arms
And my quivering lips
You're a soothing melody for when I can't sleep
You're all the things I want to keep


When I was a child he was my plaything
The teddy bear that I cuddled with
And the mirror that I used
When I wanted to learn how to kiss
He is the the song that played on repeat in the back of my mind
The hard piece of bubblegum that cost only a dime

You are my future
He is my past
He was the first
But darling, you are the last

punishment, not fit

for a velvet plaything

treated like lobotomized dogs

vast vivid wilderness of pain

will you ever see through the fog


the wretchedness I adore

in my head, eternal hell

taken for granted our prizes are mounted

the hypocrisy we deplore


punishment not fit for a mangled heart

blisters these hands twitch

to be found, all is lost to start

feel the nervous itch

Control freak
to
control freak
This will be a duel
Your hand
in
my hair
Using me as your tool

Youll tell me
What to do
Ill manipulate
The scene
Youll be
the cruel master
But youll never
Be mean

I can play
the kitten
Harmless
Just wanting
to play
And then youll
Lose control
From the ***** things
I say

Have you felt being needed?
It’s great, it adds to your ego
But what if it’s too much
And nothing’s true anymore.

I’m there when you need me
But when I need you, you’re gone
Your selfish egotistical self
Never repaying your debt.

Now, I've decided
No longer would I be used
I’m not your dummy anymore
You’ll learn to live when I’m gone.