I used to have to light up
to help our memories go up in smoke.
Inhale and exhale until I could calm down and see straight.
Even if that meant I went through half a pack.

Now, in my worst moments- he calls.
Unknowing of the savior he has become.
It has become second nature-
to accept the end-
without a cigarette
mostly because it is hard to smoke when I'm too busy laughing.