I am trapped
Caged in the dungeon of my mind, I cry along to the thump of the shades hitting the brick walls when the wind blows in cold air
I shiver
Afraid that I might die here and no one will know
This despair grows from my solitude
This anxiety will be my killer
A five minute panic becomes a twenty minute panic, and I can’t sleep for the night
Skipping classes, rocking back and forth in the early hours of the morning
How many times have I experienced this before
Ive lost count, or rather, I never wanted to keep track
Social interaction is hard when all it does is make you afraid
And I’d rather be isolated than make a fool of myself in front of people I barely know
My experience of a higher education is nothing more than years of disillusioned dreams, and endless days of self-loathing
When will it end
The panic, the paranoia, the depression and worthlessness keep getting stronger
I am alone
No one lays on the other side of my bed when I reach out for help
No one hears my whimpering as I try to reassure myself that everything will be okay
The only warmth I feel is that of a night light, and the microwave time
My forty dollar plush bunny has been my only saving grace
Who knew I would be paying thousands of dollars for my suicide