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Apr 2018
There's times I think of her and want to burst into tears
Waist deep in nostalgia where I recollect the years
And strain myself to think upon just how far I've come
But the closer I get to her, the more she seem to drive me away.

Just when I think I'm able to see into her very soul
And find a meeting ground for her destiny and mine
Life becomes an intersection where there she dare decide:
Walls up, shut out, can't let anyone inside.

This recurring question keeps festering on my mind:
Who am I to her that she may cast me aside,
Throw me into the dust, and move on with her life
Without even hurting a little inside?

Everytime I gaze into her eyes,
A piece of me crumbles before her feet
And with her smile she stomps out the sparks of anything that had potential.

Every moment that passes by
I fear I lose more than just a best friend,
But parts of myself are locked into a box
And burried deep beneath the ocean of her eyes.

Where does one find rest when every hope has been slain,
Your body emptied of all its contents
Leaving nothing but tears and pain?

Do I raise a dagger with the intent to try and cut away
The parts of me that cannot live without my friend today?
Or tie a noose so I may hang to dry
The tears that soak my wrinkled shirt
Could I beckon death with an open hand to come and halt this hurt.

Or do I stay and watch from afar
As agony posses this cadaver,
Brings him back to life and forces him to trod bruised up this mountain we call life?
Just some old memories
Alec Astaire
Written by
Alec Astaire  25/M/Fort Collins
(25/M/Fort Collins)   
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