I’m becoming blurry
When I look at myself in the mirror
And I’m beginning to see
His face through mine
Instead of mine
Like my body is disappearing into His
Like if He wasn’t there
I’d be completely invisible

Now I can’t get rid of Him.

Or I just don’t want to
Because I don’t want to vanish
Into thin air
And be another ghost
Wandering the streets
I want to be seen
Even if His eyes
Are piercing through mine
Even if the world is clouded because of it

Every time I blink
My life seems to get a shade darker
Until everything is disfigured
From His pupils over mine
And anything bright
Seems out of place
Forcing my eyelids back shut
Until the dark returns

It’s funny
That after I’ve been with someone
For so long
I become more and more like them
With Him
It’s no different
I chose to let Him stay with me
And as a consequence
I’m fading into Him

It sounds cliche
That maybe I need Him to survive
Maybe I’d lose my identity without Him
Maybe I’d be nothing…
Maybe I’m too afraid
To let go
And find out

He’s given me a reason to live
And a need to die
But who am I to turn Him away?

I wonder
If I’ll ever truly be able
To see myself in the mirror again
Or if I’ll forever
Be looking through His eyes.