The funny thing is I was prepared and willing... I was ready to remove the obstacles on the path to my heart,
to light a torch through the tunnels so that you know the directions to take in the labyrinth of my grim personality
characterized by culverts of mood swings and the stinking sewage of my tantrums... I was ready to rid myself of the dust of my haunting past
and stop sneezing good intentions like yours away, I was ready to hold your hand
and match along with you to a future that keeps getting brighter every other day.
I was prepared to cut open my soul and let you put the candle of affection inside so that you drive out the darkness of cynicism that's plagued me for years,
I was ready to make you the handkerchief that finally dries my invisible tears...
The uplifting embrace that finally brings my silent sobs to an end, I was willing to make you more than a friend
by ripping away the high fences of my diffidence and letting you into my sanctuary,
my innocuous zone so that you would drive away the compulsion I have for desolation...
I was even open to letting you help me gather the pieces clattered all over the floor of my reality
that have eluded me for what seems like epochs, I was willing to overlook your flaws as I thought they were faultily perfect
and you earned a chance to flip the pages and let me read the chapters beneath rather than judge you by your cover,
I was eager to be an open book, to open my mind and let you be the radar, that guides the wreck of my life back to the shores of romance
Whose flame for the fuel in my soul was promising to burn and never die out and even if I’d run out of fuel,
I was willing to seek help from the glow of the sun to light our way if the flame ever died out...
I was keen to whither the storms if it wasn’t a happily ever after, to feel our way through dark times
To never admit defeat till time when the moonlight of joy crept through the alleys of our hearts.
More than before, I was ready to let you be the blanket that warms the winter in my soul into spring
and that cools the summer of confusion in my mind into autumn where the leaves of loneliness would fall
greener optimism was already budded awaiting the despair to fall,
I was willing to let you explore deeper than anyone had ever been in a very long time, close to the first cut
Until you chose to ruin it all…and made me shut my doors even tighter with your guns loaded with bullets of empty promises
albeit I cautioned you against promising anything because in my experience it was the expectations that hurt
You’ve made me build even bigger walls, locking out even the little warmth I was starting to gather…
You’ve made me put bigger barriers on the boulevard to my heart and turned it into a boulevard of broken dreams
and by doing so, you’ve locked me away forever, and lost the keys yet am grateful
to you for showing me that the world outside the cocoon is still what it used to be before my hibernation
a world where butterflies cannot survive for even the roses have Datura within their sweet nectar…
Am grateful you didn’t wait for me to fly so high before severing my wings, so grateful you’ve confirmed to me
that even the most splintered of fragile hearts can still be broken…I was saving forever for you, thank you for not letting me waste it all.