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Aug 2016
Emotionally exhausted.
My thoughts have officially lost it.
I found my goals and mapped it.
Discovered my pain and masked it.

Lost my soul, and I'm stuck here.
Trapped without it.
I'm running all these miles on manipulation.
Not a moment of hesitation.

Riled up lionhearts.
Dashing into every darts.
It's my gun and, I keep jumping into all of this.
This is a mess, a puzzle that nobody can solve.

My heart is addicted to this pain.
There is no way to stop it.
Running all these signs.
Racing all these lights.

No doubt about it, it's definite now.
Full-forced through the windshield.
I don't like the cards I was dealt.
Waiting it out, playing every card.

Desperate for a win.
Seal up the doors, don't let the devil in.
He's coming to collect me for my sins.
I have collected one too many sins.

My shots are just hitting the rims.
And I keep shooting.
I'm still losing, and I choose to keep on.
I'm far beyond exhausted.

All of it's costing me too much.
Losing it all in the hopes of getting everything I have ever wanted.
Daunted by my demons.
And I'm haunted by feelings.

I keep trying to find my meaning, so desperate for any type of reason.
To keep on despite all these dealings.
Concealing all of this. Shielding all of this.
Just by breathing.
Life's a *****. Make it yours.
Marium Iqbal
Written by
Marium Iqbal  18/F/New Jersey
(18/F/New Jersey)   
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