1957 -    
A writer and an artist. A musician as well.
In need of a Savior, I was just a shell.
I was a heavy drinker.
Alcoholic, truth to tell.
I did cocaine also. Anything they'd sell.
Finally hit my bottom...

*God caught me as I fell.*

I'm here to simply tell you
I was nothing nice
I was a rank sinner, every kind of vice.
But now God has redeemed me,
For my Faith in Jesus Christ.

<{{{{><

I love the Lord...
He literally saved my life.


All SoulSurvivor poetry
and photography on this site
the intellectual property of
Catherine Jarvis aka SoulSurvivor

Avatar artwork
by Catherine Jarvis

Site photograph
by Catherine Jarvis
A writer and an artist. A musician as well.
In need of a Savior, I was just a shell.
I was a heavy drinker.
Alcoholic, truth to tell.
I did cocaine also. Anything they'd sell.
Finally hit my bottom...

*God caught me as I fell.*

I'm here to simply tell you
I was nothing nice
I was a rank sinner, every kind of vice.
But now God has redeemed me,
For my Faith in Jesus Christ.

<{{{{><

I love the Lord...
He literally saved my life.


All SoulSurvivor poetry
and photography on this site
the intellectual property of
Catherine Jarvis aka SoulSurvivor

Avatar artwork
by Catherine Jarvis

Site photograph
by Catherine Jarvis
SoulSurvivor
SoulSurvivor
2 days ago

We live in a velvet world
Soft. With comfort. Free.
We've seen only kindness here
Love and liberty
Each person here lives without fear
In health and dignity
There are those less fortunate
Who lived in war's debris
They weep and cry... they may die
Why can't we all see?

(chorus)
They are children bound in prison
Captives from their birth
Bound in chains, there lives restrained
By poverty's black curse
They are poor, and they need more!
They also have worth!
Can't you see? They must be FREE

THE CHILDREN OF THE EARTH


There are those out begging
Those who have no food
Those who have not medicine
Long ago approved
Those who drink of water
From muddy lakes & streams
Also used as toilets
Can you not hear their screams?

(chorus)

I don't want to hurt you
Or put you in shame
You're not the ones who did this
Not personally to blame
Just remember that you have the power
To END this wretched game
All children should play in peace

ALL CHILDREN ARE THE SAME!


Imagine there's a world
Where kids can laugh & play
In the warm, soft meadows
With flowers bright & gay
I will fight for their rights

I LIVE TO SEE THAT DAY

We ALL have RIGHTS AND DIGNITY
Fundamental WORTH!
We'll find a way
To help TODAY

THE CHILDREN OF THE EARTH.



SoulSurvivor
3/25/2017

Dedicated to Jakub Stepniak aka Kuba Ka.
He's a pop performer who started doing benefit concerts for children when he was only a child himself. Nine years old!

A humble young man & good person. I hope he can use this song!
SoulSurvivor
SoulSurvivor
2 days ago

A Story of Scientology and the
Mental Health System Connection

I WOKE UP IN HELL


I must've slept a good four hours before I was awoken by a peal of crazy laughter. The other girls had gotten up, and were not at ALL respectful of the fact that I'd arrived only hours ago, and needed a full nights sleep. There were nine of us in that room... the size of a small motel room. And one mirror. One sink. ONE TOILET. IT WAS INSANE.

The cackle was emanating from a bleached blonde who's face was reminiscent of a Proboscis monkey. "How'm ah gonna bleach mah hayah?! She asked, querrilously. Her drawl was purposely drawn out and irritating. She pulled at the lifeless black & white reverse skunk fur on her head. Then announced that she needed to dye her pubic hair, too! except she put it with such vulgarity I blushed.

"SHUT UP!" Shouted a girl with eyes flared open so wide you could see the whites completely around the irises as black as olives. This female was to become my worst enemy. But right now I seconded her sentiment profoundly. And said so. Her eyes snapped my direction and narrowed. She didn't like me from the jump. Some women are like that. And there is no appeasing them. The other girls I got along with. But not her. NEVER her.

The blonde stormed from the tiny room, shooting me such a poisonous look that I felt the acid spray my face. Cheers went up from several of my roommates. But black-eyes just turned a shoulder as cold as liquid nitrogen.

"Serious. How do we bathe? I asked. The shower was, evidently, broken.

"There's showers by the pool area," replied a pretty, albeit rather pear shaped girl. She was stuffed into a blouse & skirt which appeared 2 sizes too small. "C'mon. I'll show you..."

We left the mildewed room, the lazer beams of black-eye boring into my back...

I HAD JUST MADE A DANGEROUS ENEMY, WITHOUT KNOWING HOW OR WHY.

That woman I mentioned turned out to be a HORROR. What she did later on in my story would change my existence forever.

SCIENTOLOGY IS A PERNICIOUS CULT. IF SOMEONE APPROACHES YOU WITH A PERSONALITY TEST... R U N !!!
SoulSurvivor
SoulSurvivor
3 days ago

Brave men & women! Warriors all!
The WAR IS ON! THE FIGHT!
Now's the time to show our strength
To be as ONE... UNITE!
Together rout the enemy
Beating back the night!
Shadows cannot quench a FLAME!
They're dispelled by LIGHT!
A thousand torches carried forth
Will show our foes

OUR MIGHT!!!


Pick up your shield & buckler
Be Centurians!
Leaders of the Amazons!
Vikings! Mighty men!

Be a new MacArthur!
Be brave and MEET YOUR FATE!
Cross mountains like Hannibal!
Conquer! ALEXANDER THE GREAT!

Be a man like Patton!
Be wise as Deborah!
Be a youth like David!
Let your slings be SURE!

Put your shields together!
Advance and don't retreat!
Slay them without MERCY!
Be swift upon your feet!

CALL TO ARMS! CALL TO ARMS!!!

No matter what your rank
Advance into their strongest point
Then bite into their FLANK!

Their arrows cannot harm you
If you don't RECIEVE
THEY ARE MADE OF MIST & SMOKE!
BE STRAIGHT ON! BELIEVE!

We are like JEHOSAPHAT!
WE'LL SING INTO THE FRAY!
At that sight, they'll be in fright
THEY WILL RUN AWAY!

Be strong & courageous.
They will all take FLIGHT!
Deep inside they KNOW THEY'RE WRONG

AND WE ARE IN THE RIGHT.



SoulSurvivor
3/24/2017

Now's the time, folks! If we are to beat
The Cult, we must do so UNITED!
THEY'RE BEING HIT FROM ALL SIDES!

LET'S BE BRAVE AND COURAGEOUS
and TAKE THEM DOWN!

♡ Catherine
SoulSurvivor
SoulSurvivor
4 days ago

A Story of Scientology and the
Mental Health System Connection

GILDED CAGE


Unlike the pampered, well heeled clients of my "faith", I didn't enter the Fort Harrison Hotel via the opulent main entrance. I made my appearance through the back. The garage entrance was less than hospitable. And, I noticed, there seemed to be people living in the cold, drafty motor housing! When I asked about this strange berthing, Noah was much less than forthcoming. "RPF", he mumbled. Well. What's an RPF when it's at home? Then I saw a few of the denizens of said "RPF". I knew very little about it. Only that it was punishment. For people were "out-ethics". WOW. The RPF "sleeping quarters" had bunks three high, and was protected only marginally from the winds that swept through that garage.

There was an RPF person who was coming through the breezeway as I entered. He stepped aside very deferentialy, and said, "Excuse me, Sirs!" to Noah and I. WOW. I'd never had THAT kind of treatment in my life! I guess I was someone important! This bubble was burst immediately. I met the I/C of the FRU.

She was not in a good mood, as I recall. But, then, who ever really was in this Organization? She DID TRY to be nice. Greeted me clammily, and put on a spurious smile. She recognized I needed sleep, at least. Upon walking through the building, the rooms got more and more posh. I was to get to my berthing through the hotel lobby, apparently. It was grand! But in a sort of an outdated way. I really don't remember much else. Except for the conditions in my sleeping quarters. Only marginally better than the RPF! bunks three high! Junk everywhere (some of the new recruits had yet to figure out that they should cull their possessions to a minimum). Guess who was designated the top bunk? You got it. And moi was not a happy camper! As I climbed the rickety ladder to the top bunk I remember thinking, "How much lower can a person go?"

I WAS, EVENTUALLY, TO FIND OUT.

The time frame I'm writing of is 1977. So long ago! If i don't remember things perfectly, my friends who were there, please forgive me!

I'm trying to process all this again. My memory isn't what it was. I'm writing all this to convey the disparities between the conditions in the Sea Org and the cushy experience of the clients. All THEY saw was friendliness & grandeur. We were like indentured SLAVES. NO LIE.

ESPECIALLY THE RPF.And RPF wasn't the lowest you could go. There was the RPF's RPF! I wondered where THEY slept. In the sewer? I wasn't far wrong...

* RPF: Rehabilitation Project Force


♡ Catherine
SoulSurvivor
SoulSurvivor
5 days ago

A Story of Scientology and the
Mental Health System Connection

THE CAUSEWAY


By the time I got to Tampa Florida I was so weary that I was stumbling off my feet. I hadn't had any proper sleep in 4 days. My bones felt as if they had eaten a cancer. I can't remember sitting and waiting for motor pool to pick me up from the bus station. I must have been sleeping on my bags. Not that there were that many of them. I had very little clothing or toiletries. In fact I believe all that I owned was in one tiny suitcase and a carry-on duffle.

I don't remember the name of the man who picked me up that day. We'll just call him Noah. And the white van that traversed the Courtney Campbell Causeway carrying State Road 60 from Tampa to Clearwater? We'll just call that The Ark. Because we were about to meet a deluge...

The first part of the trip I was nervous. It was raining and extremely windy. I remember asking Noah if we could wait for the storm to pass. He told me that he was under orders to get me to the Fort Harrison within a certain time frame. He would meet those orders come hell or high water. He didn't actually say that but that is what he meant. And that, my friends, is what we got!

The first part of the causeway appeared to be wide. It had palm trees on either side and some greenery. But at a certain point all it was was some roadway perched upon pylons. The engineers had started construction of the causeway in 1927. It was a total of 52,165' long. And, brother, I was feeling EVERY INCH!!!

The wind was blowing so hard that the rain was almost at a horizontal slant. The waves worse. They were spilling over the roadway and frothing. There was no one on the road of course. Nobody else would have been crazy enough to go out in that storm over that Causeway. But Noah had his orders, by God. And he was going to carry them out. That's how brainwashed and insane some scientologists are. Especially in the Sea Organization. Failure to follow "Command Intention" could be seen as grounds for the RPF. More on that horror later.

Well. I remembered Elsie. How she said the Lord Jesus Christ answered prayer. She'd told me that if you confessed your sins with a pure & contrite heart and asked anything of him, he would grant them. That's just what I did. I recall closing my eyes and talking to a man. I didn't know Him. But I told him I was sorry. And if he'd just get us to our destination safely I promised I'd try to be a better person...

Noah was terrified. I can still see his face locked in a rictus of fear. But now I felt strangely calm. Even when we hydroplaned over the asphalt I wasn't afraid. Finally we arrived at the end of that terrifying strip of water and wind. I don't recall exactly. But I believe Noah stopped the van and wept. For the first time in my life I thanked God. I recognized the event for what it was... A PURE MIRACLE.

AND I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER IT AS SUCH.

What I've written is what I remember to be. I don't know how we could have made it over that Causeway and not been swept over the side. It had to be an act of God.

What I will be writing from now on are my impressions of my time in the sea organization at the Flag Land base. All the names save one will be changed. There is one I don't hesitate to mention by name... the swaggering little dictator David Miscavige. A human monster of Hitler prepositions. He will receive NO MERCY.

HE HAS SHOWN NONE TOWARDS ME.
SoulSurvivor
SoulSurvivor
7 days ago

Look, there goes the Alley cat
Hear her strangled meowing
It don't beguile, for it is vile
Much like a sewer flowing

Ladies of the evening
Women of the street
Would blush and be embarrassed
To hear such trick or treat!
I'm upset, cuz I don't get
How that foul mouth can EAT!

But there's a strange compulsion
Which comes like a deluge
Her smiles gay, but don't defray
The Battle of the BULGE

Like felines she vocalizes,
Is her life like that?
If she's raw, and long of claw,
Is she like a cat?

How far will she let you?
How far will she GO?
Perhaps she battles demons
No-one else can KNOW

Myself, I can't condemn her
She had substance abuse
But she's not free, cuz she can't see
That SCINO'S not the TRUTH!

And she's a Public Figure!
Little girls look up to her!
She doesn't seem to know this
Did it not occur?

She cusses like longshoremen
Refuses to see
That she's made a grave mistake
In Scientology.

Does she believe they're helping?
This Science of the Mind?
Lord above! If she does
Then she's completely BLIND!

You're responsible, my lady.
Do you know that you teach?
The modern young, and they become
The little slaves you PREACH!


Miscavige isn't awesome
Scientology's NOT "COOL".
It's wicked beyond belief!
You're being played the FOOL!

Whatcha gonna do, girl?
You're an ingenue no more.
Do you doubt? Gigs DO RUN OUT
Will you play the WHORE?

"Ah, NO!" You may be thinking
From my stance I shant tumult!
A cow, I'll graze, I'll be unfazed!
There's always the CULT!

But, dear, a storm's a'brewin
A tsunami of greatsize
They pamper you and praise you
But it's a web of LIES!

What will you do when flooded?
Will you weep and cower?
David's boat won't stay afloat!
It ain't no IVORY TOWER!

Baby, don't you get it?
Or are you just that THICK?
You will die, and then you'll FRY
A moth unto a WICK.

God has a sense of humor
Yep. He surely DOES!
AND YOU WON'T BE PROTECTED.
He don't help folks "just because...

My advice? For what it's worth?
I'll put in my two cents.
Leave that God forsaken CULT!
GET HUMBLE AND REPENT!!!

Sugar, whatcha stay there for?
Their ratings goin' SOUTH
Just believe and you'll receive...

Then, clean up your MOUTH!


Catherine Jarvis
aka SoulSurvivor
(C) 3/20/2017

Kirstie. I don't judge nor condemn you.
But there ARE a LOT of folks who think

YOU NEED TO CLEAN UP YOUR ACT.

You're promoting the most destructive Cult
IN HUMAN HISTORY. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY!

So. You're OT VII. SO WHAT?
How're you feeling INSIDE?

DON'T LISTEN TO THAT LITTLE MAGGOT.

YOU ARE ON THE WRONG SIDE!

A Story of Scientology and the
Mental Health System Connection


MARILYN

"Her weapons were her crystal eyes... driving every man mad... (dark) as the dark night she was... had what no one else had..."
BANANARAMA "Venus"


Upon first meeting with Marilyn the first thing I was struck by were her eyes. If the eyes are the windows of the soul, hers were the stained glass of Winchester Cathedral. They were absolutely beautiful. Polished obsidion orbs that seemed to have an inner light for all their blackness. The second thing I noticed were her teeth. Strong. Perfectly even, and glistening white. Lastly her height and figure. Again, I shall use the Winchester Cathedral metaphor... she was positively that... not just a brick house, she was marble! Cantilevered, with flying buttresses everywhere! WOW!

Now, I'm not a lesbian. But if I were, Marilyn would have been in trouble! I was to notice flaws in her looks as time went on. Her thick, shiny raven hair was poorly cut, and her face, while striking, was not all that beautiful. Her features were even and well proportioned, but she was not a classic beauty.  She was of arabic/caucasian liniage. If I were to be perfectly honest with myself, I noticed these imperfections because I was somewhat envious. She was a man-magnet. Ms Pac-Man! I'm not an ugly woman. But I couldn't hold a candle to Marilyn!

As fate would have it, I became her "twin". We were on the buddy system at the beginning of our Sea Org training, and I was paired up with Marilyn. As luck would have it, we hit it off. Even though I felt like a shadow next to her light, I also really liked her. And she liked ME. She never lorded her looks over me. Her brilliant smile could melt the stoniest heart. And we enjoyed the same things. Though she was no artist, she really appreciated art. I actually drew her portrait (which she kept and framed, she told me many years later). We would take long walks around the Hollywood area, and, when time allowed, went to the beach. Santa Monica Pier. She had a droll sense of humor which i could appreciate, and i made her laugh, too. We got along very well.

Our Mission, should we decide to accept it (or NOT), was to write letters to people who had, at one time, been interested in scientology, or the Sea Org (not necessarily in that order). We were told that we to up our "statistics" daily. All jobs were measured statistically. Now, even at THAT age, I knew the Samuel Clemmons quote, "There are lies. Damn lies. And statistics." But i thought it prudent not to mention that to anyone.

So, we were to write letters. We worked out a system for staying "upstat". We figured if we wrote LONG letters, and took breaks at first, then wrote shorter letters as time went on we could "beat the system". So we did. We never competed with each other. I was slightly faster than she (I'm a writer, obviously) but she didn't care. I could write. But she could spell. I was never good at that (I HAVE autocorrect on my phone, lol!).

Our I/C (in charge) never really bothered us. We were "upstat". So we joked around and had fun with it. We were allowed to go out and have a little time off occasionally.
I remember going to see the first STAR WARS movie with Marilyn and another dude who was totally smitten with her. She didn't even feign interest, even if he WAS very funny, and good looking in a diminutive way. But he was around her in a holding patern! Like a hummingbird to a honeysuckle! Shaharizade had mesmerized him with her seven veils! But the poor man never got anywhere. So he started to evince interest in me! But got nowhere in that arena either! Poor dude! So, that's how it worked. Marilyn would draw masculine attention. And, eventually, I would be "second pick". Oh, well. I knew better than to "get involved". There was a strict rule about "fratenization". A polite term for SEX". THAT was VERBOTEN! It was grounds for RPF, should the partners be unmarried. And since I had NO desire to marry any of them, those dudes were out o luck.

Time went on. FRU  (Flag Recruit Unit) didn't seem so bad! And then there was the lure of my final destination. Flag Land Base... Finally I was ready to take my

...1,300 mile Greyhound bus!

The next installment in my tail will be a poem I wrote a while back. I went 1300 miles by myself from Los Angeles California to Clearwater Florida. Actually to Tampa as there was no bus to Clearwater. I had a harrowing ride from Tampa to Clearwater over the Tampa Bay Causeway... but that's another story...

IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN THIS "RELIGION" PLEASE READ THIS ENTIRE BOOK! YOU WILL CHANGE YOUR MIND!

I'm sorry if I haven't read your poetry lately. I've been very busy writing this book. And I've been going down repost rabbit holes. I'm sure you can relate! I love you guys! This is the best poetry site ever! I'll be reading again soon...

♡ Catherine
 
To comment on this poem, please log in or create a free account
Log in or register to comment