Your eyes once light and holy galaxies to me
look at me now like voids upon which I endlessly
search for stars,

Like the nights we spent smoking our last cigarettes
stars, like the moles on your skin that I traced in every last breath before we slept
stars, as vast and expansive as all the secrets we shared with our mouths and then kept
stars, that dot the sky which I lie underneath
when I had you, and then when you left.

I didn't mean to beam up at you like sunlight without remembering to filter through the clouds first
too overwhelming for those eyes that used to shine back unafraid and clear like glass
I didn't mean to make those eyes hurt

And I knew before that sunny days don't last forever
and I knew before that though you were lost in me, you'd find your way out someday,
that I was your city and you'd wander my streets without any guarantee that you'd stay,
but all the while I hoped that us being together
meant something greater than metaphors about cities and weather.

You don't understand how important it was just to be held by you,
how just your heartbeat could make me feel like one of the lucky few
who managed to really love someone
and be loved by them too.
And as I wrap myself in the photo-negatives of our memories I wonder why it is that
you no longer see these things like I do.

I never meant to create friction, but I set myself on fire anyway
just to give you warmth when you weren't cold,
just in the hope that when we were old and twofold
we'd be timeless.
I never understood that sewing our hearts together would make such a mess when you tore yours away,
but you took the stitching with you, and when I tried to make you stay
you ripped my heart in half too,
and you didn't even mean to.

So now I'm better suited to darkness
but all I can think about are those eyes, those eyes I'm so accustomed to
void of light that once gleamed through
every time you smiled that smile, meant only for me
eyes now dark, unlike mine that shine with tears clear like glass
with the salty residue of fear you leave every time you say goodbye to me
I never really knew it would feel so empty.

Maybe that's why I can't stand daylight, now
when it burns through my windows and doors.
I can't bear to be reminded of your smile
when it's not for me anymore.