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Nov 2015
Who am I to ask you for the time of day?
When you look at me as if I am a wall of grey.
My insecurities are fuelled by that devastating look in your eyes
That rips my very being from existents.
For you see, I am not like you
I am the nothingness that creeps inside your head
And haunts your once pleasant dreams
Until you plead for death to take you in its icy grip.

Who am I to ask if you will stay by my side?
For I am one of those many lost souls
And my abandonment issues how I wish to blame you.
You deserted me but I know I am the one to blame.
For you see my mind does not work like yours
It corrupts even the purest of thoughts
Impales them with the purest of impurities
Suffocating them like the vines around the necks of the flowers.

Who am I to ask if love is a shout into the void?
I still tear out my heart with my bare hands.
I am lost inside a world where no one can see the truth
It’s always them, it’s always suffer you sufferings in silence.
For you see they do not understand what it’s like
To be lost inside your own rotting head
Scared of the monsters under your bed, now they are inside your head.
No one cares if you ended up dead.

So please answer me, who am I to ask for your hand?
When you do not see me they way you should.
You see a feeble, weak, broken girl
Who’s too far gone to be saved.
For you see I am none of your concern
But that is where you are wrong.
I am a mother, a daughter, a farther, a son, a friend, family
I am everywhere, so please don’t turn your back on me!
Michaela Ferris
Written by
Michaela Ferris  24/F
(24/F)   
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