If ever there was
A younger me
Whose ambitions
Once taller than the tallest tree
I’d like to ask that younger I
What exactly he thought of me
And perhaps he’d look into my eyes
And see the guilt of my past
Perhaps he’d see within my gaze
The burning pain, the blazing wrath.
And possibly
That younger me
Would know exactly what to say
And he would look once more at me
And tell me, “Stay,”
“Stay alive, stay aloft, carried on the love of your self.”
But I have no such love, perhaps I’d reply
And that is when he’d look once more in my eyes.
“You’re hurting inside, your pain is beyond.
“Aching within, I cannot stare long
“Your eyes are as maelstroms, they completely confound
“And I see now that you failed to stay strong.”
You’ve seen to the heart of the matter, my friend
Perhaps you see now why I do not fear my end.
“You seek to die?”
No, I merely do not care that I’m at risk of it.
“You don’t seek to live.”
Not any longer than is my fate.
“You do not see what is clear to me.”
Do tell, myself, why don’t you tell me?
“If you seek to cease life, you’re still killing yourself.”
That’s confident of you, my small little friend
Why would you believe I’m searching for my end?
“Because, Older me, I know you better than most.”
“And I pray that forgiveness will be ours from the Heavenly Host.”