Internal fevers
Invisible flames
Lick my neck

I am a drop
In the ocean
Invisible speck

Burning chest
Save me now
Stare at empty skies

Pretty lies

Give me comfort,
Mother moon
Eclipse me
I dare you

What forlorn nights this lonesome poetry begets.
My voice, attuned to solitude, sings a desolate duet.
The only voice that answers mine is baritone regret;
and yet
I wear my words upon my head: a gaudy coronet.

Dreams are fickle beasts
They hop from eye to eye
Chasing rainbows drawn
on brain-lit black skies

I’m not who I wanted to be
I am the sum of my broken parts

This is my acne
These are my scars
These are the creaks and cracks of my joints
This is my unrelenting back pain
This is my hypertension
This is my hypermobility
This is my loud mouth
These are my blind eyes beneath the glasses
This is me

I am not who I wanted to be

This is my living hell
This is my loss of hope
This is my lack of will
This is me giving up

And this is me dragging myself
out of the gutter
with the help of
some words

These are the words
I’m using to breathe
Myself back to life

The words I’m using to breathe
Cause it’s been too long since I have

I’m not who I
Wanted
To be

But I am me.
And me is who I
want to be

And me
Is me
Is me
Is me
And me is ok

This is my face
My acne is allowed

This is arm
My scars were a mistake

These are my joints
They creak and crack
But they try to keep me standing

This is my back
It holds my pain
But still keeps me straight

This is my hypertension
It causes my pain some days
But it reminds me of the work I need to do

This is my hyper-mobility
It causes my joints to do what they do
But it gives me some fun party tricks

This is my loud mouth
You can judge if you want
But it lets me speak my truth

These are my blind eyes
But under the glasses
They’re pale sky blue
Is unbeatable

This is me
And me isn’t perfect
But me tries
Every day
To keep me afloat
In this rocky boat

These parts are broken
But that doesn’t make me broken
I could use some work
And I always need a helping hand (fixer-upper)

I am more than broken parts
My sum is greater than these parts
My flaws don’t define my worth

So here I am

Standing in front of you
I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to stand

But I can still sit in front of you
I can still be in front of you if I can’t stand
And my legs don’t stop me from writing
My back doesn’t stop the power my words hold

I still need to figure out who I am
But whoever that is
I’m proud to know him
I’m proud I’ve made it this far
I’m proud I was able to live and love and laugh
I’m proud to know some of the people I’ve known
I’m proud to be me
And I won’t apologize for that


-unapologetically me

Half full yet...
I keep
dripping,
spilling,
crying,
breathing.

Everything creeps up,
and I empty myself.

I empty... myself?
They empty me.

Thoughts past zero degrees,
ice-cold breaths give me a mouthful of red.

empty cup, empty head,
an efficient way
to keep myself there.