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Uh-Lay-Knee Feb 2018
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But
when you finally remember
what it is
you were trying to
forget,
you'd forgotten that you
didn't want to remember
it in the first place!
so,
you push it out
of your mind
until it's stuck right
in front of your face
for the rest of your time
here on this earth.

You didn't want to waste,
until you realized
that you,
started wrong
and now you just want
to end it fast, in the hopes
of a next life of realization

or is it just memorization

of the rules to live by
old thing I wrote in 2015 i just found a picture of. i lost most of my old writing in my first move and this makes me sad ****
Uh-Lay-Knee Nov 2017
Sly & Cunning
     Swift & Nimble
A Demon at home,
has life so simple.

Whiskeys' soul
     on the rocks;
Reading alone, past
     four o'clock
Uh-Lay-Knee Dec 2017
I am resigned to love you.
I care for you,
I want you safe, and happy, and warm.
I think I want to grow with you
And know you better
Like you know me.
I know I've never done this
I don't know what I'm doing
But I'm hoping this is right.
Uh-Lay-Knee Nov 2017
I've been trying to
make something of myself.
But when I look all I can find,
is the lives I've made up in my mind
Spilling out.

And I wonder,
If I never told a lie again,
Would I do better, at keeping my friends?
Or would I still drive them all away
Anyway,

Three years in and I stopped thinking,
A couple more and
it just spills out, people and places and things I've never
seen or done, but,
if everyone believes you is it true?

I was scared before but,
not anymore and,

That's why I cant decide on you
If you're true or real or know anything about me,
or if it's just another perception of me
Created as a fantasy, turned my reality.
Uh-Lay-Knee Dec 2017
It's. 2 o'clock on a
Sunday afternoon again
What. Are. You. Do-ing? oh
I'm just sitting, and waiting, and dying, and
oh you're on your phone a-gain.
So who are you to judge?
What are we do-ing, here?
I know we're in love but
I miss som-thing,
Something I used to be.
It's not you it's
just me.
Oh.

I just wanna play games,
you see
I know you see everything,
Ev-er-y-thing about me.
But what do you got?
Let me, break it down
1, 2, 3.
oh,
You want me to be faithful
Doesn't that seem wasteful to you?
I've got so much to live for
Telling me that till I'm through.

And honey I. love you
You know, I really do.
Baby you're my love
No matter what I might do.
It's just not fair to you,
All of these things you've
Forgiven me
It's taken me out of Forsaken
at least

I need a priest, some ethics or a moral code,
something.
It never gets old,
Not knowing what to do
I still will not know once we're through
I'm just not through with you,
I don't wanna be

     Oh it's, 3 o'clock now
     I better get going to work
     Oh that hurts
     I miss being unemployed,
     Full of joy in a house that I loved
     Maybe a change in scenery? some greenery?
     Will do us both good
     We gotta go
     Start over, it's over
     It hurts
You can listen to the first version of this song at https://uhlayknee.bandcamp.com/ This song has been developing with me and someday I'll get a decent version out of it. The freestyles are the realest.
Uh-Lay-Knee Dec 2017
Why, oh why,
do we feel the need to cry?
Over temporary pain.

The feel of grief is so permanent,
Pertinent, persistent and problematic.

It doesn't matter anymore.

How many times have I cried
over something that made me smile?
How many times was I made the fool,
used like a tool to satisfy someone else's needs.

I know, I know,
I need that pain.
I crave it sometimes,
unhealthy.

I hate it when it's mine,
but sadness is my true best friend.
Self-reflection on all the ****** up things that have happened to me

— The End —