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Alaya Aug 2019
Do you ever feel like you're just an object,
an object that people can throw around without any care?
That's how I feel,
people you could love the most,
can treat you in the up most disgusting way.
You can't do anything about it,
it feels like every time you try to run away from it,
it keeps following you.
Every hit that you take,
the more numb you become.
These hits are leaving big red hand marks all over your  body,
the marks swell up
and make a bump around the perimeter of the
handprint.
Each hit is feeling like torture,
over
and
over
again.
None of the people you love are helping you,
they are sitting across the room
crying
and
crying.
Every time you scream
the hitting becomes
harder
and
harder.
You're left lying there feeling...








a b u s e d
Alaya Aug 2019
Do you ever feel as though one person has complete control over you
and takes that for advantage sometimes
uses that power for selfish reasons.
I feel this the most,
you would do anything for this person.
When it comes to something bad that they have done,
they put the blame on you to make you forgive them
and you will forgive them
because you love them and would do anything to make them happy.
Then,
once they have finished with you
and want nothing to do with you anymore,
they dump you like garbage
and they step all over you like the doormat that you really are.
You then feel this stabbing sensation towards your heart,
you're crying and crying
but it just won't stop.
It keeps continuing
and you cannot stop it.
You sit there crying and wishing that you were better,
you sit there and realise that the one person you care about
is gone forever.
You then realise that you are...





h e a r t b r o k e n
Alaya Aug 2019
Do you ever feel like you can't move
from veins
to bones
all the way to the outer layer of your skin,
you just cannot move.
Every limb in your body
just stops functioning.
you stop thinking,
you sit there
and everything surrounding you is pressure
getting tighter and tighter
forcing you to not move.
If someone or something is calling out for you,
you don't have the ability to move and reply.
I feel this a lot,
when I am being physically abused
but especially verbally abused by many people.
The hits are just repetition,
over and over again,
each one hurting less than the other.
Once this pain finally stops,
you feel empty
because you know that everything is moving,
but your heart is the one thing that is truly...




n u m b
Alaya Aug 2019
Do you ever feel as though you're crying
and you have an infinite amount of tears,
you just can't stop crying and crying.
I feel this as well,
you should buy a glass jug
and by the time one week comes around
it's overflowing with your tears.
You come to school acting super happy,
with a smile tattooed over your face.
People ask how are you,
you reply fine but inside
you're not fine,
you're the literal opposite of fine
but ten times worse.
You act so happy around others
that nobody would ever guess that you're truly in pain.
You come to school in the morning,
your eyes puffy from the night before,
people ask what's wrong because you don't look the best.
You say that your eyes are puffy because you're sick.
Hmmm
that statement is slightly true
because you are actually very sick,
sick of life.
Once you finally come to mind with the facts,
you realise that you're









d e p r e s s e d
Alaya Aug 2019
Do you ever feel like saying something,
but anything you say will be ignored?
That's how I feel,
like whenever you try to say something,
it seems like nobody is listening
like nobody can hear you.
you try to talk to people
but they look at you as though you're weird,
as though every point you make is invalid.
Nobody can hear you,
your voice is just an echo in a cave,
ignored.
If you're ever in a fight,
you say your point
but it is never taken into consideration,
it goes in one ear and out the other.
you stand up for yourself,
you stand up for what's right,
but whatever you stand for
will not be heard
because you are...

s o u n d l e s s
Alaya Aug 2019
Do you ever feel like everybody looks down on you,
as though you nothing but a dead roach in the attic?
That's how I feel,
when people stare at you in disgust
as if you're gum from the bottom of their shoe.
You think people like you
when they really pity you.
You just wish that you could be liked by people,
but nobody wants anything to do with you.
You think you can do activities that other "cool" kids are doing,
but you really can't.
The "cool" kids are just staring at you,
they're gossiping,
saying that you're a try hard,
saying that you are dumb,
they even go as far to laugh at you.
Then someone screams at you
and they say that you're...







p a t h e t i c
Alaya Aug 2019
Do you ever feel like no matter what you do
it will never work
as though the world surrounding us
doesn't want us to succeed?
You then begin to loose faith in this belief
and you feel so let down.
You're trying to make something work so bad
but it just isn't.
I feel like this all the time,
you feel that
you can't succeed in anything you put your mind to
because you know you will be let down deeply.
So,
you stop trying to succeed
you don't even begin anything.
It begins to impact of your school and work life,
you don't believe that you will do well in a task or exam
so you just don't try.
You then realise that you have given up on most things because
you're...






h o p e l e s s
Alaya Aug 2019
Do you ever feel like you just don't wanna be here any more,
as though the is no purpose for you here in life.
I feel this a lot,
you just don't want to get out of bed in the morning,
not because you're tired
but because you ask yourself
"Why?"
You realise that you're worth nothing,
you start to think about self-harm
and how you dying will not impact on anyone's life
except your family.
You then realise how everyone will probably move on straight away
because nobody likes nor do they care about you.
People will cry to show that they actually have a heart
but they won't actually mean their tears
and that is so sad to think about.
If you die,
you know that people will think you were attention seeking,
if you write a note stating the reason why you died
you will be copying a T.V show
and still be called attention seeking.
Isn't it sad how one of the reasons you are not going to **** yourself
is because people will call you an attention seeker,
whilst you're literally dead.
There are many other reasons why
but you don't want to tell people
because they are your emotions and feelings.
They are your reasons to why you are...










s u i c i d a l
Alaya Aug 2019
Do you ever feel as though you're isolated,
nobody likes you.
Everyone is avoiding you
and you just sit there
wondering why.
Like whenever you say something,
someone buds in and tells you that you don't belong there.
I get these scenarios all the time,
it's embarrassing.
Everyone is staring
thinking about how weird you are.
Sometimes,
they gossip silently,
those are the worst
because you know what they are about,
they're talking about you.
Even your friends don't stick up for you
because they know that you're weird.
During the break periods,
you have nobody
because no one likes you.
You start to wonder
if you're pretty enough,
if you're cool enough
just if you're anything and everything to talk to these people.
You sit on the side of the sidewalk by yourself,
because you're all...



a l o n e
Alaya Aug 2019
Do you ever feel like you're trapped in a forest,
with nowhere to go.
The more you raise your voice to scream for help,
the less length you feel that your voice is travelling.
That's how I feel all the time,
except I'm trapped in my own body
and I can't find my way out.
You feel like your body is shutting down,
day by day
hour by hour
minute by minute
second by second,
the clock is ticking
and you're running out of time.
Your mind is screaming for help,
but your body is acting all happy.
You don't know what you're doing
or how to get out
so you just sit there,
silent.
All you know is that you feel like you're...


l o s t

— The End —