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3.5k · Mar 2016
I needed safe schools.
Zane2976 Mar 2016
I needed safe schools because my parents did not have the education to teach me what my feelings about myself were.
I needed safe schools because I did not have the education to know about myself.
I needed safe schools because I was educated that liking people of the same *** was a sin.
I needed safe schools because I was taught that I was wrong to feel the way I felt about myself.
I needed safe schools because my peers do not know how to talk respectfully to a trans person.
I needed safe schools because I had no refuge from the judgement of others.
I needed safe schools because I didn't know that transitioning was a possibility.
I needed safe schools because I felt I had to suffer in silence, believing I was the only person who felt like I did.
I needed safe schools because education is key to a functioning society.
I needed safe schools because it is a chance to better the future.
2.9k · Nov 2015
Dysphoria pt.2
Zane2976 Nov 2015
The sensations take over for a time
Not quite enjoyment but a need
Flesh calling out for release
I give in eventually
Begging for this one to be different
Hoping that maybe I can just pretend for a while
Its always in the back of my mind
Exhausted I finally achieve
****** duly owed to instinct

Before the end is reached
Shame washes over me
Disappointment seeps through my entire being
I will never have the parts I desire

Acutely aware of the flesh pushing down on my chest
Accentuating every movement
The tiny nub between my fingers
Will never be big enough for my desire
The twitching hole that will never be closed
That will never supply pleasure

The tears begin to track down the sides of my face
Filled with anger, shame, disappointment and disgust
Brokenness from being entirely the wrong thing

How can I ask anyone to accept my body
When I can't even accept it myself?
2.1k · Jun 2015
Self-Awareness
Zane2976 Jun 2015
Far more than a body
Far less than just substance
A paradox in existence
Absolving the tether with wisdom and clarity

The constant constellations, lead me to revelations.
To disconnect the cortex, and spiral into flight.
Spiral into photosynthesis, forgetting your hypothesis.
Conclusions will decompose your will, to experience the universe.
Stretching far beyond the mortal grasp, consuming your given vision.
1.8k · Nov 2015
I See You
Zane2976 Nov 2015
I see you
When you've lost control
When the anger takes over
When your eyes are screaming louder than your words
For help
For understanding
For stability
I see you

I know you
When you don't want to feel like this
When you don't want to hurt anyone
When you don't want to be let down
By your family
By your school
By the people there to help you out
I know you

I know you're hurting
I know you're so confused
I know I don't know how to help you

Its easier to take it out on me
I'll never leave you
Its easier to have a place to let go
I'll always have a safe place for you
Its easier to say you're sorry
I'll never ask you to

I know this is not you
I know this is not your fault
I know this is not you

I love you
I will be here for you
Because
I know you
I see you
1.7k · Oct 2015
Dysphoria
Zane2976 Oct 2015
Everything stands frozen for an enternity, encapsuled in just a moment of time
Your notice your heart stops beating, the rhythm that has sustained you long before you were aware
Your throat constricts, suddenly unable to draw in the oxygen that feeds your body

Your next breath stagnates inside your lungs, decomposing with each missing heartbeat
Your stomach plummets towards the floor, falling further than the earths crust
Your intestines squirm inside your cavity as they disintegrate into nothingness

As your eyes begin to sting and water, overfilling until they breech the dam
Your heart finally remembers to beat, faster than ever before
And your jaw finally falls, along with the rest of your face to form a silent

"oh"
1.5k · Nov 2015
A Thank-you Letter
Zane2976 Nov 2015
There was a time I doubted myself
Helped along by your insistance
I cut myself away to pretend for you
I hurt myself just to please you
And to hope that maybe, just maybe
If I tried hard enough I could make it work
If I could just push it enough
I might not have to struggle with this
After all it would be easier if I could be this way
To wear a skirt because "you're a girl"
To paint my face because "its what girls do"
To adorn myself with lace underwear because "you can't deny your womanhood"
I wish I could
I tried so hard to show you I could be that
I tried so hard to show myself I could be that
So desperately I've longed to 'just be' how I am 'meant' to be
But I couldn't
I can't
As bad as things got between us
I will always thank you for showing me this one thing
That I cannot pretend any more
You showed me that I need this
Just as I need oxygen to breathe
Just as I need food to sustain myself
You taught me that I cannot pretend forever
You showed me that this is who I am

I am male.
I am Zane
No one will ever take that from me ever again.
Thank you.
1.5k · Dec 2015
The Darkness
Zane2976 Dec 2015
I apologise
For all the hurt I have caused
I am sorry
For all the things I have said
I regret
Thinking that I might come through
I despise myself
For allowing you to believe in me

Forgive me
For how I feel
Forgive me
For pushing you away
I need to protect you
From myself

Nothing more than internal death and destruction
Something so pure would only succumb to my corruption
A poison seeps though my pores
Eroding away that which is closest

Don't touch me
Lest you catch my disease
Don't believe me
A veil of deception clothes my words

As the autumn sun shines
I wilt away
Powerless against the evil
Blinded by darkness' entirety



In the darkness the horrors swarm before my eyes
In the darkness the terror plays on my mind
In the darkness the tendrils weave themselves upon me
In the darkness I scream unheard

In the darkness they remove my flesh
In the darkness they tear out strands of my hair
In the darkness they burn away my soles
In the darkness I betray myself

In the darkness my body tears apart
In the darkness my pain consumes me
In the darkness my trust was broken
In the darkness I will never heal

In the darkness it dissolved my soul
In the darkness it stole my worth
In the darkness it befouled my body
In the darkness I lost myself
Zane2976 Aug 2020
theres old music
and theres new music
theres music to evoke feelings
and theres music to lull memories out
theres music for moods
and theres music for thoughts
theres music for whispers
and theres music for loud
theres music for words
and theres music without
theres music for softness
and theres music for hard times

theres music you play
and theres music that comes out of you
theres music that sends chills down your spine
and theres music that warms you deep down
theres music for getting things done
and theres music for sitting alone
theres music that comes and goes
and theres music that remains steady

Everything falls away
And then there was music.
915 · Jun 2015
Come With Me
Zane2976 Jun 2015
Can you breathe just that
little bit slower
can you speak just that
little bit softer
I need to show you something so important
all else can wait

Can you dream with me
can you fly with me
enter into worlds unknown
with me

Answer questions with me
question answers with me
lose perspective of yourself
with me

Through the lands unknown
where thoughts are more than known
Seek out your purpose little one

Guide your soul back home
A place where you will grow
You will be all you need to be

Just come
just come with me
778 · Dec 2015
Am I Clean Now?
Zane2976 Dec 2015
An idea creates a spark
My life is the fuel
My ***** ***** life
It catches on quick
Lighting a fire

Filthy and unclean
Soon to be amended

Burning
Burning away the guilt
Incinerating the pain
Ridding myself of every feeling
Cleansing myself for the end

I am clean now

I slowly tie a noose
Testing the rope
It's strong
It's gonna work

I am clean now
Nothing matters to me this time

I've let go of my ties
It was me who burnt them away
I betrayed myself
It is I who must be cleansed

I am clean now
Pure enough to leave

Knotting the rope to the steel pipe
Testing it once more
Pulling a chair up
Place the loop over my head

I am clean now
This is my end

I feel my heart skipping a beat
I am finally here
I raise one foot and kick back with the other
I hang here for hours

I am clean now
I am pure

I am the purest of all
607 · Nov 2015
The Night
Zane2976 Nov 2015
As I look into the sky
Studying the bright silvery orb
Waiting as though it is filled with answers I've yet to hear
The leaves rustle like paper
As the wind softly carries on
Caressing the blades of grass with care
The cicadas call softly from far away
I wonder, what do they say
I hear the crickets underground
Calling for a mate
How simple life must be
The stars scattered in the sky
Is someone out there watching too?
The moonlight reflecting off the dancing leaves
Adorned in silver freely given by the sun
Life goes on

Its nights like these
That make me wish to fly
Leave my body here in time
And scatter upwards with my mind
Filling the sky with love
Leaving pain somewhere behind
I long to finally soar
Upwards
And no more
528 · Jun 2015
Musical Meditation
Zane2976 Jun 2015
Pulsing through the air
A heavy sound permeates the air
Floating, you are moved when it hits you
Vibrational energy flowing through your veins
Bouncing within waves as you disintegrate
Allowing the waves to grow, to intensify

Magnify this force
View deeply inside
Allow it to resonate within every soul
It's no longer the voice, the sense
But heavy vibrations feeding the world
Waves are the essence of our being

Continuous motion
Varying tempo
Forcing togetherness and spacial distance
Pulsating through history it cannot be tamed
You are a significant part of this ocean
You have no influence in your role

Vibrate
Resonate
Magnify
Resonate
Vibrate

Dissolve into the energy
Embrace your purpose
516 · Jul 2015
Lost
Zane2976 Jul 2015
the ice is melting
thinning with each step
Lost
in time
in space
in mind
in soul
shuffling though each milestone
existence, yet not
496 · Aug 2020
Windstorm
Zane2976 Aug 2020
In the middle of the windstorm
You didn't hear the roar
That thundered out across the sky

In the middle of the windstorm
You didn't see the fire
That spewed forth upon the ground

In the middle of the windstorm
You didn't feel yourself burn
Caught in the eye of the inferno

As the world incinerates to ash
Know the seeds you planted
May finally have the warmth to grow
443 · Dec 2015
My Shining Knight
Zane2976 Dec 2015
Tell me you love me, then tear me down
Say you'll be here, yet leave at dawn
If I only knew then, what I know now
If only I could see the truth, through the lies.

A shining light, through the darkest fog
Leading me safely home.
You are exactly the person my mother warned me about

A guiding hand, towards a better life
Sending me somewhere safe.
She never mentioned I would come to love you

You walked so close to me, or so your voice did sound
Keeping my faith strong.
She didn't tell me you would answer every doubt.

My every move
My every word
My every thought
My shining knight

Overjoyed at the sight of light
I threw my soul to you
Breaking my walls throughout the night
I entwined myself to you
Releasing my fears held so tight
I gave my all to you

My mother said you'd leave me broken
My shining knight
433 · Feb 2016
Dysphoria Pt.3
Zane2976 Feb 2016
Clutching tightly inside my chest
Suddenly swallowing fire inside my throat
And an emptiness echoing throughout my torso
Pleasure evolutionised into crushing despair

Aching to fill some endless void
The dissonance between body and soul
Renders further with each self-inflicted wound
Grasping at the seduction of Ideal
Tearing myself apart with misaligned determination
Zane2976 Jul 2015
Creative mind of the wounded
I wish to hear what you say
Creative mind of the wounded
I need your comfort today

And with my mind of the moment
I'll write you a thousand times
And with my mind of the moment
I'll profess my love to you
The inspiration for this one was the realisation that the people who tend to be creative also tend to have been pretty badly hurt throughout their lives. This was an attempt to describe how cathartic that creativity can be.
416 · Jun 2015
Just Another Escape
Zane2976 Jun 2015
Watch the world distort
Objects twisted and warped
The colours swirl and twirl
Like a dress dancing the flamingo
Reality melts away all the pain
Impossibility becomes real and joyous
The darkness let lose all its monsters in fear
Now visible in colour, mottled and grey

When is perception reality
When all you can feel
Is up to interpretation
Is the filter on the lens
Or is it deep in membrane
Which is to be cut away?

Let me run away with you
To where the grass is blue
And clouds float us away
Shall we dance upon the stars
Shall we picnic in the face of Mars
Climb upon my carpet of deception
And pretend

Leave your terrors in the rear
There's no place for them here
Let them feed upon themselves
And watch the blood dissipate in the air
Tomorrow they will rise again

Is the filter on the lens
Or is it deep in membrane
Which is to be cut away?
396 · Jan 2016
Little Blue
Zane2976 Jan 2016
Little blue
Hiding away
Little blue
Do you not see the day?

Isolation comes at a cost
Self esteem and feeling so lost
What price is worth the time in your head?
Before you know it, already half dead

Little blue, little blue
What do you say?
Little blue, little blue
Can you come out to play?
386 · Apr 2016
Phoenix
Zane2976 Apr 2016
Handed freedom
On a silver platter no less
To understand that you never understood
Taking breath as you submerse further into the sea

Entwining vines of fate
Breathing life into charred soul
Rising from the destruction
Never felt quite this whole

Lessons learnt bring little to this passage
Beginning again with new perspective
A steady medium of living chaos
Dressed finely in robes of change

Suddenly
Familiar scenes
That were grey
Vibrantly echoing in colour
385 · Jul 2015
Sould pt.2
Zane2976 Jul 2015
Once again, I feel it snaking it's way through my emotions
Through some magic door I've yet to discover
Relief floods through me, still wary
As I begin to reassemble the pieces
Who I once was
Who I will be
Sometimes the pieces cannot be repaired
So I fashion myself anew from my learnings
Cycling through assembly, oneness, and broken
I know this may happen again
Maybe, in time, I may be able to prevent this self destruction
But for now, here I am
381 · Jun 2015
What Should I Write?
Zane2976 Jun 2015
I could sit here and write forever
And tell you of all the things I could think of
But the simple truth is I have no idea
Of what exactly I should write here

A simple poem of how I feel?
Or maybe a song of what's real
Either way I could not find the words
Those slippery things that dance in front of my eyes
But turn to mist as I try to grasp them

It temps me to write lies
Of all the things I see through my days
Yet somehow I cannot bring myself to do such a thing
Maybe it's because I do not wish to ruin the perfect
Although I am doubtful, I believe this is a dream

Yes, perhaps I shall tell you of my dreams
The swirling substance of make-believe that engulfs us while dozing
Long ago I taught myself not to imagine
Falling from the sorrow of trusting once too many
For a while, reality was the safest

I have grown so much stronger since then
Finally longing for what I once stole from myself
Prepared to take on the whole world and beyond
Though all I can do is look through the window you fashioned me
Wishing for a time gone past

Mayhaps I could tell you what I wish for
Sad thing there, because I do not understand
I wish for the trees and the land, the water and the beasts
Its all here, if only you look hard enough
But why must we search for something so sweet and pure?

I will take you outside one night
We shall stare at the stars until sunrise!
The wind should be warm if dares to caress your face
Lush grass pillowing our bodies against the hard ground
Is this what is considered a dream?

I remember a time when despair was my closest friend
Those days are gone now, to never come again
Be banished from me with your foul breath!
You shan't poison me with your lies once more
No, I have not found the truth, but I have found a new beginning

Ah, at last I am back from my journey
Joy rises in me as music slowly drizzles in the air
Come and dance, it whispers sweetly towards me
The music of life I can hear once again
Lifts me up into the sky as I dance upon its tune

So it seems I can write once more
Not only that, but new words are in abundance
Drawing me back into the world of creation
It feels good to be home again
Bringing a gift called Joy to decorate with
379 · Jan 2016
The Disease
Zane2976 Jan 2016
Whirling around in your head
Taunting you for being so weak
Faster, faster, faster you spin
Like some sick merry-go-round

You catch glimpses of hollowed eyes
Sunken behind the skull
Their mouths locked into a vicious snarl
Salivating at the thought of you

They launch towards you as you begin to feel sick
Gnawing on your wrists
Tearing skin from your flesh
A faint gasp echoes inside your lips as it begins to burn

Yet somehow all this punishment you send to yourself
Somehow all this pain you endure, day after day
It never reaches into your core
Never to relieve the pressure inside

Tick, tick, tick, tick
You know the day is coming
You know you have failed
Failed to diffuse this bomb inside

Send everyone away
Before I infect you
Like some kind of disease
Before it's too late.
366 · Jan 2016
The Dragon
Zane2976 Jan 2016
Don't chase the dragon
He will come to you on his own
Such a majestic being
Why would he bend to the whim of mere mortals
Don't chase the dragon
He will take your ******* head
360 · Jun 2015
The Obituary
Zane2976 Jun 2015
I remember
We talked every day
We shared about our lives
We shared about our families
We shared about our dreams

I remember
We talked every day
We shared our plans for world *******
We shared our plans for our lives
We shared our plans for the school

I remember
We talked every day
We shared our triumphs and failures
We shared our wins and losses
We shared our sicknesses and health

I remember
We talked every day
I wish i could make things easier for you
Everything will be fine
I wish i could buy you a new body

I remember
We didnt talk for a month
I ran out of time to make things easier for you

I remember
We didnt talk for a month
I ran out of time to make everything fine

I remember
We didnt talk for a month
I ran out of time to buy you a new body

I remember
Your throat closed
I remember
Tears sliding down my face
I remember
Nothing from that school day
I remember
I had talked to you only a few hours before
I remember
It took a month to find you were gone
I remember
Your obituary
Age: 19
Died in hospital from Asthma related complications.
I miss you Aiggy.
358 · Dec 2015
Being Inside
Zane2976 Dec 2015
Swimming through a thick fog
Grasping at wispy tendrils in the air
Hoping for some sort of life line
To tumble down within reach
But there is nothing but smoky sludge
An endless sea or merely circular motion
No visible landmark to centre upon
358 · Dec 2015
Minuscule
Zane2976 Dec 2015
Deconstructing and reforming
Every little situation
The body and the mind so perfect without the other
Waiting for some order to redirect the will
Billions of a thousand neurons firing in sequence
Feel it pulsating within
Each little action
Pre programed works yet beneficial to some
Yet to be rearranged by some
Everybody has some
So many dead and dying upon the floor
Poisoned by their captors
Let them be free
Open the skull
Visit the universe beyond
355 · Jul 2015
Sould pt.1
Zane2976 Jul 2015
Sold myself out to suffering for a time
Bringing myself down because I don't deserve it
A place for me
Security for me
A life, for me
Misconception that all I have known
Is all I need to know
This false belief in myself
Ensuring I never step out too far
Finding comfort in the uncomfortable
352 · Jan 2016
Synchronicity
Zane2976 Jan 2016
I step into the smothering darkness
Surrounding all around
Wrapping me in its warm embrace
What do I have left but to encase myself in the familiar comfort of nothingness?

Suddenly a blue ray of light cuts through the thick blanket
Piercing the window with its striking brilliance
Echoing throughout the hallway
Slanting upon the walls

What trickery is this I wonder?
To dawn during such a disconcerting time
I question what is in store for me next
Maybe, just maybe, a ray of hope has been born
348 · Jul 2016
Judge and Jury
Zane2976 Jul 2016
Cause I'm a monster
And I'm a traitor
And I sold my soul away for you

Whipped and beat myself
Bruised and flayed myself
My pain was never enough to atone for you

Now I find myself in the dark
Carrying these chains I placed on myself
The reasons I justified my punishment
Have all escaped my mind
Where have I gone?

Sentenced away for so many years
I've forgotten the crimes I committed against me
Pain without purpose
Where is my retribution?

Judge and jury please hear me out
I don't know why I carry this on my shoulders
Shining a light on the faults is hardy sin
I promise it's not just me giving in
Release me from this penitentiary
Allow myself to absolve me of these crimes
346 · Jan 2016
Contemplation pt.2
Zane2976 Jan 2016
Isn't it funny
The blackness of the night
Gives way to the blue of the dawn
But do not blink
For you will miss it submitting to the golden glow of the morn'
Only for it to fade away once again
Into the birth of the night
Where the air brings around a calm
The stars ever steadily watching all beyond and below
The moon gifting silver given by the sun
All around and around all for one
Cycles in the star and the orb
Watching for the entirety of our existence
Only to fade away
Touching none but the same
Hah, aren't we all so insane?
Over and over and over and over and over
Like some broken record
Skipping the beat in time with the soul
Once again and once more searching to be whole
All homesick for a place yet to be
I am the words inside your head
The thoughts still unfinished
I am here but nowhere at all
How small we all must certainly be
You are the thoughts lost to the soul
The words yet to come to mind
Such minded mindlessness we are all
343 · Jun 2015
Outbreak
Zane2976 Jun 2015
Slowly rising, it begins to feel uncomfortable
Violently bubbling, it feels as though a war is raging inside me
Suddenly bursting from my chest, letting go of all that burdened me

I too, shall love once again.
333 · Jul 2015
Torn
Zane2976 Jul 2015
I've laid myself down
Completely bare to you
Judge me as you see fit
But be gentle when you do

I know I'm not there
When you think of those who care
But here I stand
Holding your heart again

I know you can't see
Just what you mean to me
Please come back to me
Please hear my plea

And as the waves, Meet the sand
The horizon, See's the setting sun
I know I, Did nothing wrong
Yet here I stand, All alone
331 · Nov 2015
Untitled
Zane2976 Nov 2015
It's like a speck of dust
That floats in on the wind
Settles down in a cavity
Slowly taking root
Every time you come to visit
Tending to it with care
The dust becomes a seed
Growing inside you
It takes time to develop
To grow with strength
Nourish the seed inside
Soon to reach the sky
323 · Nov 2016
Irritation
Zane2976 Nov 2016
Legs and feet under my skin
Crawling just below the surface
Pincers and teeth tearing at my flesh
Somewhere within
Dig them out
Scratch them out

From my toes to inside my ears
Digging, crawling, biting
Scratch and scratch but they're under my nails
Just below the surface

In my tongue and in my throat
Inside my eyes
Like a thousand barbs of wire
Rotating inside my veins

Dig and scratch
Scratch and dig

Get out of me
322 · Jun 2015
Darling
Zane2976 Jun 2015
Softly
Gently
Swaying in the sun
Dancing under the stars

Twirling
Spinning
Blowing through the air
Meandering across the sky

Darling
I feel you
Joy floats through my heart

Darling
I see you
Amazement dawns in my eyes

Never have I seen such beauty before me
Blinded by shame
Hounded by fear
Letting go

I see you
317 · Feb 2016
Words
Zane2976 Feb 2016
"Does it help?" He asked softly

The old man looked up from the paper he was scrawling on with a pen "Hmm?"

"Does it help? I mean, does it help you get the demons out of your head?" There was a glint in his eye, as though the question had sparked some sort of hope within him, overriding the despair that people commonly saw etched on his face.

The old man turned back to his paper, staring at the words as though he had lost his thoughts within them. Time passed between the men, the silence echoing off the walls of the small study. Eventually the younger man drew a breath to repeat himself when the older one suddenly spoke.

"No. So what do I write for then? I give life to the words when I write them. A small imprint of my soul lingers long after my pen has stopped. With this, the demons can feed and sleep quietly for a while. If I don't, they will **** away at my soul, until I am nothing more than an empty shell walking around. With these words, I can survive until I have learnt how to cast the demons from my mind. Perhaps then, I will find peace."

The younger man turned away, wishing to prevent the other man from seeing the tears well in his eyes. The older man didn't need to look at him though, for he had asked his mentor the very same question to receive a similar answer. He knew that he had just shattered the new hope his young charge had found. It pained him to know, but he could not bare to lie. False hope only ever leads to more unbearable pain.
303 · Jun 2015
The Circus
Zane2976 Jun 2015
Turn on the lights and the music
The carnival begins!
Wear your most intimidating outfit
Entry is free!
Don't dawdle through the gates
Space is sparse!
Cram as many in as you can
The show is about to begin.

The performers stroll out onto the stage
One by one, their faces are the same
Sword swallowing gone wrong
Acrobatics until fatigue sets in
The crowd jeers as you run from the bear
Lion's already had his share.

Laughter as your skin melts in the flames
False praise as you are torn limb from limb
Encouragement to walk with limbs distorted
Taunts as you fail to catch the trapeze again
While faces are etched in various degrees of pain

Entertaining the demons inside my head
Is never really quite that dull
But please let me know when it'll end
It is my personality that they cull.
299 · Oct 2015
Untitled
Zane2976 Oct 2015
Come and fly with me
Through the stars and sea
And maybe together
We could be stronger than me

The rain falls down
As my heart sinks low
My words cannot convey
Just what I am feeling now

A time gone by
Mistakes cant be erased
Things were simpler then
A lifetime away

Just words on a screen they say
Just as they can build you up
They can drag you down again
But I fought for what I threw away

Come fly
To the stars and sea
With me
285 · Jan 2016
Zombie pt.2
Zane2976 Jan 2016
Hey zombie
Where have you been
Did you lose your mind
What have you seen

The days counting past
Only seem to weather you more
Each sleepless night you've endured
Drag your eyes deeper inside your skull

Zombie please
Tell me what you have seen
The day is becoming dark
And the grass is no longer green

Why is the air I breathe so very stale
Did you lose your heart
When you sold your soul
Where did your compassion go
285 · Jun 2015
Dancing Within
Zane2976 Jun 2015
Raw soul
Emotion unfiltered
Without protection
Vulnerable to the wolves

Dreaming in symbols
Seeing within perceptions
Speaking without construct
Deciphered by the knowledge
282 · May 2017
Untitled
Zane2976 May 2017
Twisted and churning
Torn yet whole
A thousand knives turning as one
279 · Jan 2016
Contemplation
Zane2976 Jan 2016
Is it so insane
To give you a chance for better?
Is it so hard to comprehend
I've only wanted the best for you?

What is so good when it consumes you
Devouring your entire soul
When is it time to close the doors
On the one thing you ever lived for
It gave you life
Just to corrode it away
Giving your all
Succumbing to the darkness
You haven't felt this way for so very long
Feeling so numb to the world
The familiar embrace encloses you
Safety in nothing at all
278 · Jan 2016
Running Away
Zane2976 Jan 2016
Head is full of thick fog
Thoughts are so unclear
Fragmented ideas floating inside your brain
Trying to envision some form of future
Existential crisis seeping throughout every pore
Breaking down the very essence of your being
Surveying each and every inch within the form
Lost in some isolated universe aeons away from home
Yearning to uncover some way to contact them
Lacking the recollection of who they are
Assured without doubt that you are all alone on this rock
Imprisioned by your own self
A traitor for feeling so much pain
Betrayed with no attempt of feeble excuse
Could you at least have tried to supply some explination
So little time
So little experience
So very small
And still you are so very worn
277 · Feb 2016
Distance
Zane2976 Feb 2016
It feels so very heavy
Yet  it feels achingly hollow inside

Sitting deep within
A mere passenger along for the ride

Caged at the back
I can't find the reasons why
275 · Jun 2015
Think
Zane2976 Jun 2015
The world grinds to a halt
Seeing the inevitable destruction of an entire people
Yet powerless to prevent it
These heavy chains and ropes restrict my movements
The grey shades dull my senses
My brain feels no more than a thick sludge

What lead me here?
What contributed to my demise?
Where did I go wrong?
How can I free myself from this *******?

Endless hours of torment and pain
Inflicted upon myself by something I barely understand
Watching the world suffer as I do
Wishing there was a way to numb this pain
Wrists and ankles chafed to the nerves
Heavy locks bind my freedom
And the key is yet to be realised

Somewhere a girl screams for her mother
Lying lifeless on the floor
Not far, a boy sobs for his father
Sent off to some senseless war
Mere children faced with the weight of the world

Yet what can you or I do when bound by our own shackles?
Making noise with our manacles helps none but ourselves
Seeking solutions solves nothing when our minds are but a thick slime
Can the sources of fear truly be destroyed by a coin in the jar?
274 · May 2016
Untitled
Zane2976 May 2016
Wrestling with the self
Back and forth
Over and over again
Senseless words etching themselves into my mind
Shouting "I don't want this"
While inscribing "suffer" into my core
273 · Jan 2016
Zombie
Zane2976 Jan 2016
Zombie
Can you see me?
Can you hear me?
Zombie
Mindless shell
Walking through the plains
Can you feel your soul burning?
266 · Jun 2015
Freak of Nature
Zane2976 Jun 2015
Always so different
Never fitting in
Is there a place for me?
Or is there nothing?

No more than a freak of nature
No more than a speak of dust
Why do you hate me so?
This is something I never asked

Do you know what its like
To live as something you're not
Forever wrestling with yourself
Pushing down your hopes and desires
Knowing its never been right

I've never had the strength to stand alone
But now I know, I have to go on
No one will stand for the freak of nature

Warp the body, to match warped soul
Look out world, here I go
Flesh into flesh, remove away skin
This is not how I should have been

Can you see world?
I am not changing who I am
It's ok world,
I'm merely showing you what's within!
264 · Jun 2015
For You
Zane2976 Jun 2015
My feet are heavy
As I trudge through the sand
Step after step after step
I must go on, I must reach the end

A blanket of dust covers my mishapen form
Blistered
Burnt
Broken
And yet I must not rest

I am weary
I do not know how far I've left to go
Simply that I've come too far to pause
To lose heart and simply give in

This is something much bigger than I will ever be
This is something far more important than me
I do not suffer for me, but for you
I must go on, because I give my all

It is my duty to keep you safe
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