IT SEEMS WITH YOU I AM ALWAYS SAD
I WRITE MI POEMS IN A HARDENED STATE
I FIGHT FOR SOMETHING YOU CLAIM REAL
BUT IS FAKE
I FIGHT FOR SOMETHING SO REAL TO MI
BUT ON YOUR PART IS FAKE

IT SEEMS LIKE WITH YOU ITS ALWAYS SOMETHING
I FIND MI SELF NO LONGER ATTRACTED
I FIND MI SELF SADENED BY YOUR BOGUS ACTIONS
AND WELL YOU DONT CARE
SO WHY SHOULD I ?
A CHEATER WILL ALWAYS BE A CHEATER
AND WELL YOU WANT MI TO BE CONVINCED OTHERWISE
YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED MI ONCE YES
BUT NO I AM NO LONGER BLIND
I NO LONGER SEEK TRUTH THROUGH YOUR EYES
I NO LONGER FEEL HURT FROM YOUR LIES

ITS TIME FOR MI TO GRAB MI HAPPINESS BACK
ITS TIME FOR MI TO BE THE PERSON I AM ACUSTOMED TO
AND I CANT CLEARLY BE THAT
TRYING TO WORK THIS OUT AND BEING WITH YOU
SO HERE'S MY FAIRWELL HERE'S MY PARDON

I sat there and gazed into your eyes
I fell for you
I sat there and and seen mi self with you forever
I sat there and analyzed your every movement your every gesture
I know when you lie
I know when you're not being entirely truthful
And i know when you have things to hide
It was a point in time ,
I couldn't look at you
It was a point where i could no longer see you in mi life
A point where i didn't wanna fight anymore
A point where i gave up on you
Of course i still felt you we did have good times
But then the bad out weighed and well that was mi que
You pulled mi back with the same charm that was familiar to mi
You pulled mi back being you
With the love you claimed you had
But never grew the love that was non existent
But i never knew
It was all a game
I was just a pawn
Fighting for a position im supposed to be secure in
I am not , I refuse to
If i don't have it find another to fill that spot
I'm over it

All the time non stop its just me
nonstop all the time its just me
Why must i beg for your time
i just want a little of your time
Sleepless nights i toss and turn
i toss and turn
You make promises , they crash and burn
they crash and burn
So many times i try just to taste a little of your time
a little of your affection, just a little
but nothing always nothing
but we argue about space
How could we argue about space
when they're no one there you're never here
Who is she ? Who is she?
Or who are they?
What are we doing here?
Why do i stay in a loveless empty relationship?
You tell mi you love mi but you show mi otherwise
No more time to cry
No more empty bed no more sleepless nights
No more being alone
Maybe its time to move on from this torture
And for mi to worry about mi future
Im done feeling like this
Im done trying to explain
Im done with this loneliness game

THE REASONS FOR US BEING IN THIS PLACE WE ARE
THE MISCOMMUNICATION THE DIFFERENT SWAYS
THE MIXTURE OF WATER AND OIL
THE EMBALANCE OF TRUST THE MISUSE OF LOVE

THE REASONS FOR US NOT SEEING EYE TO EYE
THE CLOSED EARS AND THE POINTING OF FINGERS
THE CLOSENESS OF THE THE MINDS THE SELFISHNESS
OF WANTING THINGS OUR OWN WAY WITH NO COMPROMISE
THIS SEEMS AS THOUGH IT IS COMING TO AN END
TO A BEAUTIFUL DEMISE

THE RESONS FOR US BEING SO TOXIC AND THE LIST GOES ON
THE PAST NOT BEING FORGIVEN AND FORGOTTEN
THE REOCCURING EVENTS OF WHAT WE DO THAT KEEP OPEN WOUNDS JUST THAT WITH AN ATTITUDE OF **** HOW YOU FEEL WHAT ABOUT MI AND THE LIST GOES ON
THE LOVE MAYBE STRONG BUT THE HATE MAYBE THAT STRONGER
A RELATIONSHIP THAT YOU FEEL STUCK WITH NO ESCAPE
AND WHEN YOU DO MAKE THE ATTEMPT YOUR OWN REALITY HITS THAT THIS IS YOUR REALITY THAT THIS IS YOUR REALITY THAT THIS IS YOUR REALITY IT IS BUT A FRAGMENT OF YOUR HISTORY AT THE MOMENT AND THE LIST GOES ON

THE REASONS FOR US BEING HERE IN THIS STUPPER IS OUR OWN FAULTS THE MANY DRINKS WE FELT WE HAD TO TAKE THE MANY PUFFS OF A COOL CIG TO EASE THE PAIN THAT WE INFLICT ON ONE ANOTHER AND ALLOW EACH TO DEAL ALONE AND THE LIST GOES ON

SO WHY ARE WE HERE? WHAT ARE WE DOING?
DO IT GET BETTER OR WORSE?

I know you have been through alot
I know you have patiently waited with countless areas of disappointments
I know that you dont think you are appreciated
But lift your head mi sweet i am here for you
And everything will be alright

I know that you have the heart of gold
And in return people treat you cold but i wont
never in a million years
And if we were to ever break i would break down into a million tears
I know you have gon threw alot my love
But everything is going to be alright

I know that you feel like no one has your back
how about that
I feel like we are one hence we are attached
My king that was the frog that i kissed
You turned into that handsome prince
then throughout the years we upgraded yes
things may happen but just know daddyo
through it all everything is going to be alright

I am tired
I am tired of people wanting mi to be who they want mi to be
I am tired of people lying to mi
I am tired of being treated differently
When I have broken mi neck for so many others to deny mi
or not come threw for mi
I am tired
I am tired of the broken promises
of the disappointments of the fake luv
I'm just doo tired i just wanna be me
i just want to be accepted for who I am
I just want the same treatment that i give to others
Im just so **** tired

The glitter and glamor
Is it all worth it
The shimmer and shine
Putting the work in
The living up to other peoples expectations
The grind to get to the top , patiently waiting
Is it worth it ?

The grass is greener they say
A home is a home with a family that prays
Thats what they say

But is this all worth it
The life i so deserve ready so fast
Putting all those feelings of future in past

Is it all worth it
The ruby's the diamonds
The the shoes clothes all designers

I would rather love what I have
And that is you
Why look for something that is so visible
in mi face I can see you .... crystal
clearly made for each other
Soul mates some might say
The missing piece to this here puzzle

So no it wouldn't be worth it
Not all the glitters neither the gold
Not all the all the richest in the world
Nothing would ever break mi away from you
forever your girl

Where have you gone ?.... I swear its been forever babes i haven't seen you in so long, I remember when we first met , Yet , it was very brief, You were a face that stood out , merely in passing , yet and still our hearts beat the same beat.
      Where have you disappeared to ? Did you need a vacay,
I was depending on you to come back, But you stayed away, I called your name so many times with no answer , Its been cold and lonely nights since you've been MIA
     Are you back for good , Or are you just passing through?
Will it be forever this time or just seasonal?, I swear I miss you so much, we've had so much history ,  It's crazy how you can be here one second and then just up and leave , We've been up and down back and forth , When will the stability begin with us for good ?.
      You play so many roles real and fake , But see its still you I wanna see going to bed and when I wake, You're toxic at times but yet I still see the good in you , This is why I always come back , So arrogant that you know it too
        The good and the bad is what attracts mi , where have you been love why did you leave mi?

all i heard was a loud noise
something was wrong
i felt a sharp pain and in an instant it was gone
im in a loop of that moment continuously unable to break free
the harshest pain to endure is my New reality
i heard a loud noise
i know something is wrong
outer body experience ... my body face down on the ground
all i did was go buy some chips out the corner store i was no threat
all i did was read a book , all i did was have an asthma attack, all i did was sleep in the comfort of my our home and it happened while i slept , and the crime scene that you were supposed to be was not my own .... i heard a loud shot i knew something was wrong officer i cant breathe .... now i'm gone
my life flashed before me my last moments why me where did i go wrong , what did i do to deserve the death penalty , you are my judge jury and executioner , yet i thought only god could judge me
no ****** is ok ... not even from the enforcements that's supposed to ensure my security

Love me , Love on me like tomorrow will never come ,
kiss me passionately on my lips , from the top to the bottom.
Caress my every curve with your gentle touch , and penetrate me with the staff given by the gods you blessed man ,
But just love me , Love on me with your the words of romance , my romeo and i will be your juliet until the very end , Love me with every ounce of breath that you possess for eternity until eternity comes to its end.
Love me , Show me that love in the most spiritual and musical way
Make my body tremble and shake as i release my love and call your name , fill me with the love you contain and dont let go .
Just love me , Love on me like no other , love on me the feelings that you have deep inside let me feel it and feel me accept you inside and out

you know something bae i knew day one just by a simple conversation and that you have been through a lot .... i knew from the day that i had seen you in face to face that how i felt on the phone was accurate ... baby everything is going to be alright i promise you it might not seem like it now but papa it does get greater later i am here papa when you're feeling a way bae think of mi telling you that everything will be ok and that i am here i know that there are voids that i cannot fill but just know that i am here for you and it will be alright luv .... i dont know why i just said all that i just figured maybe you just need to hear it and to know that even when you think that you are alone you are not ..... thats what that good old fashioned love a do to ya lol .... and thats all i have for you is real genuine old fashioned married to we wrinkle up and die love and even through death i will still only have eyes for you .... i put my head phones on and listen to music that reminds mi of our relationship that reminds me of how we are and how we are together i love that feeling thats a feeling i dont ever wanna give up or give away you make mi mushy and i like that it is you that makes mi this way because its you i cant explain it and dont understand it and at the same time i dont want to all i know is that as long as i have mi papa bear everything is how it should be ... you are mi world papa and thats the way that i will always like to keep it you know even though i dont share that much about mi and why i happen to be the person that i am i feel like i dont need to it made mi strong enough to be a shoulder that you can lean on it made mi strong enough to have strength for someone who has been through more than mi it made mi strong enough to show you something that may seem imperfect is perfection out of something bad came something good i really cant tell you enough how much i love you but i do  i just thought you should know

forever and always my king i say that proudly
i lift my voice from every rooftop and sing that loudly
like an ancient greek siren i reeled you in with the songs of truth
the voice of honesty and to top it all off the actions for proof

Forever and always my king i submit and honor you
i adorn you with every vessel in my body
i learn you inside out out and in head to toe i own you
for everything you've taught i owe you

Forever and always my king
we've done it you put the ring on it and locked it
a caged bird i am with the key to go out and be free
i am your and you are every inch of me
forever and always will you be my king

You found me at a time in my life when i almost gave in
when things got hard yes i left , i caved in , i spent years thinking the grass was greener on the other side just to find that there were snakes in the meadows , sneaky lying deceitful beings , love i never knew , looking hard in search for the meaning , not knowing it was you the whole time , my imperfect perfection , where i am tough , you cure with affection , a voice so sweet and humble , my balance , my light out of the darkness when a day is full of trouble.
You found me at a time of loneliness and abandonment , a time of walls built from all the bad relationships , and yet i never doubted your loyalty ,whole time it wasn't you it was me , and i say that with truth and meant that i love you whole heartily , just at that time i wasn't ready see but i'm ready now , ready to sit on my thrown and place my crown , ready to play the part meant as a wife i could see no other man in this light you are my better half

Save me , Save me from me , from what i was , what i am and what i will be , Save me from all the hard times the good , the fake love , Save me from all the bad decisions , NO .. Save me the empathy , save me from your sympathetic emotions from the stories you may have heard about me , tell me it'll be alright? no just save me , save me from all the thoughts i over think the stress of not just you but the stress of me ... perfecting the perfect illusion of we ,which is all of perfection , save me love , steer me in the right direction , save me love , walk me in the path of peace not destruction , i am willing to save you love , with love so genuine , but are you willing to save me from everything that is so heavily cautious ?, save me love save me from me , from all this world and temptation i chose you for ever and always my better half you are , all i ask of you is to save me , save me to make me a better person , save me from me so that i can hold us down the right way so on that right day all of me will be yours , i wanna be all yours mentally physically emotionally and spiritually for ever and always in this life and the next