you know how after gesso-ing the canvas
you sit back,
take the largest brush you have
add some titanium white with the darkest blue
you can find
and attack that woven weave wanting to
make almost love to it
temper it with color
not knowing what result you are after
I do.
Then you see light spots shadows clouds
trees and fields ponds appear
a few geese white flying
just with a slight addition here and there
trees seem to believe they are real
shadows grow all from one tangent knowing
how that is real
when what you want
need to paint is more surreal.
And the perspective all the sudden changes
into third worlds
reality
I do.
I do know the almost uncontrollable urges of creativity.
I know the best selling colors.
I just faint to use them.
I get all wild.

wonder how the days have withered my leaves
into songs recalled and loves remembered
all along I thought the sun was shining
but then I got all old and wiser

amazing how the crystal clear of youth ambers     like
an ancient jewel

how these eyes got so much dimmer yet
brighter in hope in seeing things clearer
even though the distance blurred the close is
obscured


how then I found one day a jewel
among the crystals of a sand dune

is amazing again
I sit and analyze and I guess

it's karma

said a something
           to myself
it was a reminder
           to make a better life
somehow someday
          want to make something
a day soon change
          stop all this lying
to myself

take a day to change or a year
           anyway
I have the incentive
             and mean to
soon