I am nimbled fingered
Braiding flowers
In the devils hair
If he wants
To know my secrets
I will whisper
Them into his ears myself
About how susan
Got her black eye
Queen Anne
Tore her lace
When the summer lighting
Thundered down
How much golden rods
Are really worth
I am a wild flower
Spinning in fields
Winding vines around your leg
Until I crumble to Adam and Eve dust
In a primrose casket
We love
With fingers crossed
Behind our backs

I couldn't tell you
What time
I woke up this morning
Sweating, scared
Am I blind
Is a mask
Slipping over my eyes
I don't know
If my heartbeat is fast
Or beating at all
The smell of flesh
Burning underneath my nose

I hum
When I need to calm myself down
Am I panicking now
Where am I
The back of my throat, dry
Skin beneath my eyes, wet

Eyes, sweating
Pores, crying
Breathe into me
Bring me above water

I throw my sheets off
Thinking I'm tangled
In thoughts
Blankets

There is a man
Next to me
Is this a dream too
A barrier
Of bones
A continent
Between me
And the rest of the world
Oceans of confusion
I cannot bridge

I cannot stomach this dream
It bit into me
A cannibal, feasting
Wishing to devour
Eat me up
Drink me down
With a thousand year hunger

I hum
Voice shaking
As much as my hands

I grab the back of your shirt
Afraid of slipping
Back into the dreamscape
I smell burning flesh
Hair
Sins I am not sure
Are my own

Will I attone for them
I hold no ground here
Between chasms
No charm
For serpent tongued liars
No bribe
For master cohorts
Who smile
At the face of death
The face
Of a dear friend

I was younger
Before this dream
Nightmares cost years
I turn my pockets inside out
Nickles and dimes
For Cerberus
Death will make me her *****

Did I make this
In my own head
Questioning sanity
Bring the rod down
On my knuckles
Who will answer
At the stand
Under oath
Skeleton judges
Don't care for lies

I was dreaming
Deep
Sinking deeper
In a black river

Cutting tiger stripes
Into a cat
With burning talons
Searing sins
Into flesh
Instead of feathers
Hair
Instead of candle wicks
Who am I

Humming

I am no bird

Did I do this
Did I watch
How unordained

My body a temple
I a devout sinner
Priests and saints
Baptize me in their water
I find myself no cleaner
Than ashes
Sprinkled
In the wind
An unholy adornment

I hum

Am I deserving of comfort
Do my knees bend
My lips
Remember prayer

I hum
Under the water
It's boiling
Is this hell
Am I evil
Am I wrong
Will I burn

I hum

I am not God

"Do you ever dream in Spanish?"

"Only on Friday."

I send
Emotional
Hey girls
To
Emotional
**** boys
For
Emotional let downs
Kindered too
Emotional heartbreak
I'm not
Home
Right now
In my head
Standing
At the door
Knocking
Please
Someone let me
In

Scent of your sins
Woven in threads
Of my sweater
We unravel
Sometimes
Line dry, to high
Fallen to earth
Clothespin regret
Beyond simple days
Soap and water
Baptize me
Cleansing
Smell of sage
These are the days
We paint them red
Line dry, mile high
Scent of sins
It begins

I will not come home to anger
Whiskey
Astral projection
You know better
What are you keeping from
Secrets
Not so sweet

Were we not children once
Heavens not breathless
Only myself
Worlds fading
From atmosphere
As quickly
As called into orbit
By name
Compelled to answer
Stars timid
Of their own light
Draw close
Lips of a sinner in prayer
Time has baited her breath
What has caused
Relentless torment
Will your words
Not bury themselves
In the earth
Long after this day
Let my heart burn
As do my cheeks
And my ears
Confidence
Will find me again
The devil
A fool for promises
Jester of his own court
Why does your spirit wane
In this drought
New waters will come
New hopes too
Knowing little of gods
That love much
Ask little
Hearts aching
I am tears
Stinging your cheeks
Let sorrow pass
A world with no worth
Besides souls
Scattered as pennies in the street
Let not your light fade
Words diminish
There is hope still
Jehovah holds skies
Holds mountains
Your plight
Not so small
To slip through his grasp
You came
As a child once
This is not forgotten
You are young
To him still
Young to the earth
Do not act in haste
Love on your tongue
More than kisses
For lips
Hold a flame
For yourself
I knew anguish once
I will not walk
That way again
Praying for new shores
In deepest waters
Unparalleled

I love to hear stories
About girls who love their mom's
I live vicariously through them
As I have died so tragically
Through my own

I almost became
The cross
On the side of the road

More than surface deep
More then dreams and sleep

The lighting isn't right
For us to fall in love
Sit with me in the darkness
Wait with me
For stars to come

I called the stars down
They would not come
I was not there
When the sun split open
To birth the moon
These are my haunts
Black holes on the skirts of the beyond
I told you once
When I was a prophet
I warned you
The earth will not remember me
Now we are the forgotten ones
The forgotten ones
The only ones who remember

I am the smell of sage
Comfort food in your mouth
I will not cleanse you
I fill your stomach
Your hands
What more will you ask of me
You cannot make yourself

I have dug graves
In my own backyard
Burying bodies
Where flowers refuse to grow
I came to these shores
Long ago
Soil dreams in earthen pots
Petals looking for a new sun
Crave the light
Do not fear the darkness

I'm not as patient as I could be
New trials today
In yesterday's courts
I am humbled
Against my faults
Bare witness to me
Hands open
Palms bleeding
I will not forget
The weight of your words
Be they shackles
Around my neck
Bracelets on my wrist
An unbeautiful adornment
There are no forgotten here
Among tombstones
These etchings belong to ghosts
Hollow souls filling up the earth
She was barren once
Now she lays in sonder graves
Of her children
They do not acknowledge her
She spins her regrets
On wooden looms
Memories woven
Back when the earth was black
I lay here, still, unmoving
Formless and void
Fill me up again
Let me taste of laughter
I bit it once
From your lips
This is the craving
That will not abait
My veins know better
Than the wisdom of my head
Lay me down
In the valley
Between the mountains
I knew you once
Called you by name
Will you answer me again
In gentle humility
We are all on fire
I can't sit, to watch you burn
You are not made of sun
Stars, or the sky they belong to
Flames forget
I remember
I remember
I knew you once
Call me by name
I crave you still
Give yourself up
I will surrender
I remember

One day
These will be the good old days
We will not remember them
As they were in passing
They age, as do we
These days will be
Sweet wine thoughts
For you and me

When the earth dies
The sky will not remember me
But I think the water will

I don't even let myself have bad days
Today is a either a good day
Or a sad day
But it is still a good day

We grow
We change
There are more blessings
Beyond today

I'm already living in black and white
You didn't need to add salt water too

I want to be such light
That even long after my dying
I will brighten up worlds
To be as the life
With the stars in the dead sky

It wouldn't **** me
If you left
I wouldn't die
If you moved on
The thought of it
Is torture
But I refuse to be
A prisoner of war

Individuals
Who create when they are sad
Are special

If I tell you
That you love me
Then I don't have to
Say it back

Do you eat for yourself
Or do you feast
For the hungry man
In your mouth
Who does not care
If you are well

I can heal with my words
Sometimes I must choose
Not to speak at all
So I too, can know healing

I am lost again
Hoping
When I return
I will be loved
The same
I knew myself once
Not today
The whispers of that quiet soul
Do not look for me
Because they do not care to find
I am not ashamed of this
Other things maybe
Not of myself

Some, when binding themselves in promises Are so devout in their hope that no bad ever come upon them
That they have no hesitation
Swearing themselves to the birds of the air
And the fools who walk among us
Cutting their hand open
Letting their blood speak red words for them
They know the bad, and the ugly are more a way of life than proverb
Such they carry their cross

We have our own world in the same world as everyone else

We are the hollow part of the stars
Waiting for shadows to pass
Sewing our seeds into the sun
Pushing up daydreams
To have petals to pluck for tomorrow
I was the finger flowers in your hair
The sun kisses you just the same
Skin barren of heartbreak within
A black hole will devour us some day
Until that death comes
I lay between your arms
A valley of comfort
Until the end of the world
The altar does not know of our sacrifice
Finding love in the stars
The earth did not know
I was older then
I did not know
I am young again
Not one for making promises
When we can plant gardens
This is everything to me
You are darkness
And it has never felt like home
Until now

You told me you like beer
I think you drink it because you want your mouth to have something to do
Your hands to have something to hold

We said we aren't angry with each other
But, you're sleeping on the couch

We are not as hungry as we think
Lost in the trading of men's souls
Nothing determines our worth
Even what we think of ourselves
Dragged out of the gutter again
Reclaiming an earth
I did not know was meant for me
Did not know was promised too me

Wealth is not thinking I'm lying
When I close my eyes next to you
How will I know
Your ashes sprinkle the same as others
I often forgot about gravity
Clean hands change everything
I ache for the dirt under my nails
To find a new home
I bite these particles into eviction
Scrubbing myself raw on the inside of my brain
I am no great character witness, even of my own
A fools words should die in his mouth
Who will make him eat them

The devil has a smooth jazz voice
He sings to shy stars
In turn they wreak chaos
It is a delicate balance
Of unclenched fists
A mouth sealed and void
This stone will not be roled away
Is silence my only act of violence

Can I go beyond this
A world unaware of other worlds
Another tongue told me
I am the rose
If only ancient words
Had more to say, less to whisper
I ask for nothing but bread
Acting as if I drink nothing but wine
Tomorrow may find me sober but no wiser

I speak to anger
Only to ask that she leave

Your gods need you to live
Mine know nothing of you
Yours ask little
Mine know too much
We both pray in the dark

In simplicity
Oh the joy I have found
What good is patience
When you do not make yourself known to me

I water the dead flowers of our love
Maybe dying was given to us
So we could learn how to love

I remember waiting
Heart fluttering in your chest
You were my wish
I blew out the candles
You tasted sweeter than water dripping from pine trees
Working up courage to touch you
I don't care about burns
Smoke is the uncertainty of the night
I search for you in the dark just the same
Crickets are chirping
My ears have forgotten the earth knows humble prayers
Devout she is in her offering
May I be as delighted in my love for you

Forgiveness is a powerful thing

Red lights know nothing of the lines below
When it rains again
Maybe they will touch them
Your reflection is beautiful too

I didn't want you to blame me
When I passed out from holding my breath
I was just trying to be lighter on the inside
Walking is really hard these days
I keep forgetting how to talk
Even when I know too many words
I'm panicking, existential discomfort
I can make up a name for my feelings
They flow through me the same
Hold me now
So I don't let go of myself
You are not an anchor
You are a bridge
I am burning
It's my fault
You whisper through my hair
Into the hollow of my hear
Whispers in my head, tread softly
"It will be okay, baby."
I clutch the solid fabric of your shirt
Between the concrete fingers of my hand
Linger with me
Like you promised

I am not patient in my healing
Claim no diety in my veins
Your name the eternal flavor
My mouth that would not wash out
Not with whiskey, water, or time

Patient are leaves
Already fallen from the trees
Some cling to promises of the wind
Their trembling says much of oaken oaths
Stamina is a stem
This is your sap
Running dry in the forest
These paths no longer for me
A wanderer has no home
It is every place she goes
You will not return with me
This is a forethought and a promise
Barren is the bend in the road
You find shame in the journey unfinished
Will you not see the end
This fist holds nothing against you
Much can be hidden in branches that will not bow

My eyes slip over  'No Tresspassing' signs as if they said 'Saturday' or 'I love you'
I hold my breath, waiting
Hoping, hopelessly, that your words would pass through me like fog
These shivers are for my skeletons
I clench my all too bony jaw together with my all too silent teeth
Promising the next drink for the ghosts at home in the closet
I owe them much, debts keep me alive
If loose change was blood that's what keeps my heart beating
If my heart stopped, the currency exchange would be no different
Would you be any different
I keep asking the voices in my head
They don't like what I have to say
You never answer the phone
I keep calling, the dial tone is nostalgic
Like cotton candy at the fair
Or slamming my face off the dashboard
Doing donuts in the snow
You told me it was an accident
I wish I was as good at apologizing
As you are at making excuses
I force myself to sit at the table with you when you eat
I know how much it ***** being hungry alone
I am waiting for the day I wake up from my nightmares
Sweat soaking the sheets
Without an appetite for you

You dreamed I got stabbed 27 times
Which is crazy
Because you should know
Dying happens on the inside

I dreamed you drowned
When the waters ran over in May
I left your body in the water
Relieved of the promises
That still torment your spirit

I am an even keel
Still waters do run deep
The earth was hollow yesterday
Until we buried our secrets in her
Robbing her of innocence

Are my words dead to you now
Like the tree we used to climb
When we were younger
And not so good at lying

You cried wolf, I cried white
You took the color from my veins
Stole color from my pain
Painting me out to be the bad guy

It's never that black and white
You played me like piano keys
When I was just happy to be dancing with you
Before I ever heard music

I wanted to ask
Would you still **** me
If I was the last star in the sky
Will I always be guessing
Which half of your promises you intended to keep
Which half broke me
If shooting stars are just floating space junk
Or if wishes do you come true
Just yours and never mine