& holding on.
never felt so strange.
what's giving to me?

to know they've walked away.
alone.
conquering lands.

into me.

into me.
they chant.
sevens divided.

a blue wash of lust.
embracing me.
fileting me.

butts on softer notes.
ghost kids searching.
for death still burning.

I know there is a scar here. The light weeps. From the corner of my eye I recall. Who was loved in that light. Hello, a repetition. Sharks. Over. Around me. Their beaks resting in his stomach.

On flat tires, two hundred miles per hour.
A foreign language becomes illusion no more.
Fade & bring yourself out.

A cleare picure when the squinting is mastered.

Master this & you will sink ships.

The hollow below my eye, filling with darkness to flaunt a stolen memory.

Eaten by wolves. A vibration to atone for. My heart is here, fallen rotten from the greying branch. The antlers.

And this new word for us. Above tar, or was it sulfur? Just hold on to those. Therapy, pressure. Without bullets removed. There, for flesh holds in. Finding all I am for these. This ignorance.

Prebuscent tears she's held onto for years.
Not to see her cry. For tonight her eyes must stay bright.
In this stranger's bed, she knows what happens next.
Fancy breakfast.
Fancy poolside.
With her all her friends by her side.
From a phone call.
For a plane ride.
And now this is your life.

Oh young beauty fade.
Young beauty fade.

May I find peace & thwart disaster.
Every time, miscounted.
Love, who knows me as I flicker.
& through black masks I'm shouting.
Already, I've lost you.
We fold time & plant fear.
Hold my grace & think death through.
Dreams burn & still she nears.
Take my souls & face true lust.
Slip Eros sans repartee.
Carnal prayers my angel thrusts.
Midnight's sultry air stirs through me.
In the valley of surrender.
Breathe my carnal savior.

Before soft steel & flesh come tender.
Swim beneath not after.

The farmer and the poet walk side by side. 
The wind is blowing and with every grain of sand approaching their skin, the kettle moves closer to boiling. 
The farmer with his miniature mule in his palm sweeps in motion with his other hand, the one with golden rings and chewed nails. 
He shows the poet that the land must be toiled. 
And sweat must mix with blood to form meaning to one's life. 

The farmer combusts into ashes over the poet and the untouched bloodless ground. 

There is no anxiety. 

The poet and the glassblower walk hand in hand, shoulders pressed closer, finding rhythm in each other's differences. 
Warmth and love shine from their portrait. 

And the poet thinks as he walks. 
The thoughts collapse and the glass blower breaks into sheets. 

Furthermore into jagged shards and then, into pieces too small for a human eye to see. 

With each step the poet contains his winces and his groans. 
Walking his every step, a moment closer to suicide. 

I'm aware this is temporary. 
The solution is permanent. 
Stay as permanence, pouring as warm oil from the eternal lion's mouth. 

I grow uncomfortable. 
Distance yourself and twist language. 
Pull yourself together.

I'm changing you.
Oh?
You haven't begun to.
Yes.
I have, listen.
Nothing now, the blood is removed.
See, over there.
Shattered now, nerves severed.
I can't take my eyes off you.
Higher!
Oh lord.
Go on, exaggerate.
Oh lord,
Go on & now envy me.
In between you.
Higher, I hold mountains higher,
reduce fatigue &
perform faster,
letting a moment last longer.
Wetter & warmer.
Now.
Though now, it is false, cold movements
which you are craving.
I can't take my eyes off you.
Searching in that dead forest.

Change.
More falls down.

Rage.
More rises & I'm held again.
Envy you.
& scratching his eyes out, piece
by piece.

There was something missing, a tone that seperates.
Here it is now.
Full treble trembles & drones on.
Love you.
Burden, oh not here.
Show me those cells, those tan, taut chambers of desire.

In the light,
brutal patterns of heat.

An ache so sweet, held back
released now
forgotten & wanted
again
over & over,
loved you.

It's this now.
Please me.

Please me now,
know that in time things have been what they seem.
I am running, I am walking,
All these things & sometimes & it seems that without you here I am just rotting.

A soon to be lump
in a soon to be
abandoned apartment.
Lamps off. Curtains drawn.
Smoke is stale.
& choking those who enter finding me, cleaning me.
Dressing me &
finally burying me.

Minnow problems.

Never have I seen so many pentagrams.
Visions of the cross are tangible.
Yet the willows bend, fold and cross in unholy manners,
patterns.

My eyes close.
A moment ago they were open and burning.

From the prairie's apathy, the infirm stand strong on the jagged mountain.
Their skin and hard husks weathering the gusts.
Their numbers fall with the every grumble of those wet shiny aberrations.

Miles above, the delta beckons.

Farther below, the road's beginning with its paralyses and warnings of excellence.

Opens wider.

A pile of soil, collected daily.
The farmers rub their square white teeth in confusion.

The universe with nothing beyond. When she thinks of death, she is sad.
There is pride knowing there will be nothing.

During the panel, her words of unobservable importance betray her.
Betrayal found with the ski mask and semiautomatic.

The singularity is denser now. Collapsing as memories of the father echo.

They echo in her *******.
In the residue that falls onto her *******.

Finding whole helixes without the tools to measure them.

Speaking little of anything.

one day we will shed these bodies.
but please know,
the pain & suffering will fade.
he is not unjust in his wrath.
we share the earth, wicked & depraved.
our goal to know him & make him known.
he will not forget your works.
stay true.
stay just.
stay faithful.
to the end.
people lose love & sight when making decisions.
does not become indifference.
asking
what will they do?
what will you do?
ask.

& a cloud of witnesses beyond the bleachers, high above the home team's field.
unaware, where they play, we are waiting for blood. our sixth sense heightens & our visions spread. we are hungry.

in moments we will all taste the gaze.

we feel the thunder overhead.
between each bolt of fury, we trust our new instict.
trusting our new teeth from strange eons ago.
our skin sheds.
& into our shadows we step.
restless as the noise swells & we persist through passion.
flames scream leaving their home below.  
     now calm.
now dead.
our hunger disguised.

& we understand victory.

There I fixed it.
I fell into this.
Solitary.

Moment.
For the....
For the transcending.

I thought I had it.
But I misplaced it.

Place an arrow upon my shoulder.

Call out.
Find it.

Bridge and chorus.
Enter.

Something here causing mold.
Something changing in our voice.
Nothing strange, it's nothing noticed.
But it's not a thing that should remain so solid.
As solid in life, like facts. Those knowing there is strife.

"I believe this to be your own problem."
I tell my son this every night.
After dinner.
After his mother calls and after his mother moves to bathe the day's sores.
In bed my son recounts to me his good deeds and other's misgivings.
And I think of young women I should have ******.
I listen and ignore his requests for good advice.

Do my words contain a sedative-like effect?
Or they are amphetamines?
Neither, but poison?

"Only God Can Judge Me"

I tell the man with needle in hand these words I want as tattoos.

              Tomorrow is Tuesday.

Stop.
She lights a cigarette and continues driving
Jesus is the answer, as she pulls away.

"memories may occur "
Over the phone she reads to me the massage parlors' brochures.

What have I done.
I have scratched the window.
This window scratched. Boiled photographs.

The boxes of bread seem smaller. There are sixteen of us under the dustmoth's slight. 

He's from a state far away, but will not tell why. 

In the window held together with thin aluminum panels. 

There are ten half moons tonight,
held in phase with infinite hesitation. 

The moons keep my heart from speaking. 

The brain above separates. 
Falls to bed, pilless but none sadder. 

Seven thorns on top of my palm. Their pain travels to a fractured elbow. 

And the marble is now clean. 
And it is sad to wonder.

Little porcelain cup. 
Preparing roots. 
A random liberty. 
No place for darkness. 
Keys left at home. 
The doors never close.

This is going to be a midnight night. 

With dreadful favoritism. 

With the rose of my prayers, I stray. 

Part away, you new love that could not.  

Love her. 

Melody, please the Fates. 

Ask away. 

Bring me to a shame forgotten.  

Go back. Get them back. 

The friends I held in such short quarts. 

The ones of supple innocence. 

The traps stooping to bring us fools into innocence. 

Please perform your interlude. 

Release every moment and place me on a blue altar. 

Whisper tonight. 

I've destroyed your creation. 

I missed and your plans are crumbling. 

Which is worse. 
To say they fell?

Or to tell you they are falling?

You love with me tonight. 

No more?

The last transmission. I've burned my oldest friend. All of these numbers are lonely. You say, all of this heat is smothered. And for me to lift and never be able. Crawl around the back and shine your light to bring again the wake. And there is no one digging. There are no hills for you to sever, Every land you raise will settle. A camouflage stain slowly in the forest. Starting with Jung, staying quiet with few hopes of weapons. Feel the vague spectacle. Beyond your scope. The sun draws mistaken. A lie for the evening. This is no warmer. This is not you leaving.

The door is open. 
Leave it open. 
This door is shut. Do not open it. Leave it shut. 

Not this one, but the next one. The next right turn. 
Make the next right turn. 

Instructions not packaged. How to care for this new incomplete stranger. 

Monarch butterfly. Teardrop firefly. Three tin passerbys. 

The center for new age trauma victims. 

Lifting skirts. 

No I used to lift skirts. 

Bring me down. 

Triumph. 

The softness of her antlers leaves me confused and shaking. 

Bone and then praise. 

Supper and ritualized masculinity. 

A spot on the wall, no more spit on my face. 

Soon my blood vessels will burst and my jowls will sag. 

The paragraph starting here. But I am here. And back again. 

To say whoever finds him here. 
Anything medical related. 
And it is so sad. 

Am I dodging the blows?
Or moving swiftly between?

She gives praise to the glasses. And the rash grows, drugging with nothing sacred. 

All of this son could have been avoided. 

Oh, a horn in the distance. It is too late. 

Come now ye polished hoods of chrome. Parade along the city's skirt. 

Erosion, under humanity's weight stands strong. 

A breakbeat. Appearance of stereo but we are just in mono.

I cry

I cry without stopping





infidelity known.

she speaks.


a swarm is simply a swarm


I nod
blood spills from my ear.


a lance.

a knife to a fight.

short of a trophy
I prove myself.


star of track of field

six in the morning child

again


alas they say memories swing round


bad off

NATO orders my artillery to leave


die
(all of his connections)

die
(all of his corrections!)


its fingers
its denim

sweet sickly


the need to taint
its need to taint


of rose

of lace




and the nauseous chariot


I hear a man tell me to lower my pants


five fifty child molester





rumors of a wasp's nest.





Climb dig and burrow.

Four people become one warhead.


a family forgets it is first

a weld forgets it bonds



still a spider.

suspend my fangs



a jar



Orlando



Missouri



states away a kiss mimics a drone.


She
darker no.
now darker yes.


with shameful splashes we recover.
Gather and mourn in a corner.

a drink? a meal?

Yes, his favorite.

Her favorite.

Swallow.

First chew. Through salt and oil.
Find there the meat.


Excrement rots?
Fertilizes?


Or does it sink?



there

now our tears join.


With sodium we are one.

I'm drinking your blood
and you are doing many thing to drink mine


Chaos on this doorstep.




With you tonight.




remembering twenty five years ago


a signature is needed

a window to nail close.
a match to ignite
and a legacy to squabble over


life shines
i give birth
his mother
and i


and I'm praying he sees the same flake fall twice for the first time

and I'm praying he enjoys courdory

and I'm praying he has my mother's green eyes

and I'm praying he has my will

and I'm praying he knows my grandparents loved

and I'm praying he has my father's eye for beauty

and I'm praying he never knows where I came from

and I'm praying I haven't witnessed too many falling stars

and I'm praying I've not broken a heart


and I'm praying


i know it's wishful thinking


see thirteen species go extinct
see my mother cry
gnaw on iron bars
give more than have
gain a scar
smother an infant
bury a corpse
live their life
stroke hair


enjoy peeled grapes and tomatosoup with no vomiting


destroy a legacy


I reach into a wet trashbag
I feel hair and bone


I clean up and I grow up



myself molested
myself molded



a ******



two

three

and now it was eleven

twenty two?



then I wake up
and I forget



(hoping this would always **** me)


and I want to know why

My heart sings another's song.
Whole selfless faith.
An obstacle in its eyes.

Alabama flowers.
Mountains of metal.
Rumors of a wasp's nest.

Your mouth opens
and your feet trample over
past ones loved.

Your face,
bringing peace to Earth.
And to us far away.

With a wrist to shred
you remind me
there is nothing worth gaining.

So all hail the Queen that's never seen.

A picture for those darkest times.

Oh phantom city, believe not the lies of these citizens. 
Steer your smile away from the sun. 
Remain in the fog. 
In the morning gloom and groans. 
Continue breathing. 

The sea breathes in then out. 
And this repeats for all those who near it. 
At night or in the cold afternoon. 

Stricken with guilt your waves recede. 

For years you've swallowed our children. 
Dissolving our futures. 
Recreating them in images of hunters emerging with your translucent skin. 
With teeth so perfect and eyes free of disease. 
Raised in and given nothing but the dreams of silent death. 

She walks with child in hand.
I afflicted by his tug towards your loving grace. 
Eyes scanning the shore. 
For oiled bodies and gleaming eyes. 
A predatory stance. 
One to complete her suffering. 

Dreams dissolve and return me to creation's simple ground. 

Where are you now? 

Are you there in the bright lights?

Are you passenger?

Be it in the front seat or the rear, you've not forgotten where you are going. 

The sites to see are nothing if not with me.

eat one and behold the rot of majesty
one can, one chemical

measures of sickness
surround my building


& valiantly
you take from me


a set of lights
malfunctioning

How will the words move from stars?
And how will intelligence betray us all whilst we sleep,
wondering which lip's kiss tells which arm to part?

Feel this & unpack the ocean.
Run to red & flail in disgust.

Knowing myself too well,
an epiphany which lets go easily.

with my fingernails growing,
searching for words,
the loud become soft &
my caged flex their teeth.
choruses of steel,
singing down our
warm corridors.
here & there.
a verse distant.
tempting a joyous song from
my cool lungs.
this is the golden wheat minute,
bathed in filtered sunlight,
smiles unseen & jokes of
discipline not unkind.
I am not alone in the only place.

Two pink trills beneath my dark moon.
Order her a newer face it will take away what hurts.
Me staying along the bank to hear the new king's words.

Tell me I have left of what I guessed to be my life.

I'll continue picking parts from the rusting owl.
My mouth with your blue lips I know now just how coarse.
I know that I'm far off course.

True. Truer aim.
And I now turn the key where graves are not.

The potter

And then told this is why life consists of. 

The beauty is there and also here,
pouring to the ground in a fit of grace. 

Then exists an image to focus,
strangle and bury. 

Wind and leather under salt licked wood. 

The shivers and the ringlets, coarse
reciting numbers. 

A trident to inspect nerve damage. 

Twenty second synapse misplaced, 
the fire dies and a dark room
overflows, a place becomes home
and the lights begin to pale. 

In all these things there exists
a thorn, found ******
torn from its warm host. 

A level of love severed.

It is so lonely here.

The visual arts over
time constraints pull
                             and push
brick and mortar,
glass and bone aside.

Beside the sycamore traveling,
potsherds and splinters of graves
near similar resting places
never resting with syndromes

and now we search for scraps to place our waste into
fearing the wounds in Earth do not break
while we continue searching for scraps and waste

Lungs for my freedom torn brothers I pray. 
God I mention and you join this curse. 

I have thoughts to make sure. 
To think I am overthinking. 
To say I love you. 

Became one flesh. 
From the bones of my other. 

And from one test we're wounded. 

Weep now between paychecks. 

Spill no tears and mix not against your wish. 
It is broken. 
A cycle broken. 

My teeth against steel. 

The promise of you and your burning. 

As I kneel alive. 
As I realize. 

My mouth open. 
With jaws hanging. 

In the second between one and two temples hollowed. 
Without consent. 

My funeral entire. 

From the purpose I scream. 

Your withering contact. 
My wrists closed cross threaded. 
And the time will prove mortality. 

Burn the fields and drown your firstborn. Wound the venom and pray. 

For Heaven I mention your name. 
How our lies have joined and brought us whole.

Wonder
And rhyme
A lash
A tune the wrong way
Without a drop near a well

This life. 
Contained blood. 
Bones fragmented.  

Now interesting. 
Walking above asphalt. 
Grassy knolls. 

Below steel windows.

Quickly beauty sets & confusion fades.
the road held nothing as did the scars,
laid down by special souls ages or seconds.

chewing the scar



it's something given

confused, please grant me this burr

guilt & I dance into your throat

your ghost losing me
together now
searching your left behinds


one strip of me
pale, finally open & quiet
walking away

Roar.
stone teeth grind dully.
Dear.
flesh swells & tears.
Torn.
breathe aggressive heat.
Breathe.

The crowbars are counting on me to save.
You're leaving me angry now.
This bottle of bleach is going to take me low.
Lower. Lover.
Vanish into the holes of my skin.
Trapped below the scars you've caused.
Skin it all. Regrow with plant life.
The pharmacy disasters.
Tattoos on the throat.
Room enough to bloat.
one three five.
four five six.
The doctors are counting on me to live.
You've listened to my favorite songs.
Listening. Living.
Vanquished into the heart of my heart.
Protruding little by little now.
Soak it up. Renew with your tears.
Definitely now.
The hospital's procrastinators.
I'm keeping my word. But the rest you can have.

there is the final addition.
failing to grasp along the perfect bricks.
the drones below & emotion virginally injected.
a soul is born & a hate started.
quenched & fueled.
once just.
but the animator is gone away.
his cells drift now as snow through the cosmos.
ignored by Heaven's creator.
crying.
pleading
to their new God.
like children torn from platonic womb.
in the fury, logic flees.
dust settles & creation stops.
existence steps into frame.
watery eyes shift.
focusing on this figure so longed for.
so long before we breathed clay.
not defined by tranquility.
peace not standing.

A flower appears.
In warmth I fall.
Into blood and savage mixture.

So close to hurt.
And smile.

And to breathe.
Breathe you.

The strings below my torch.
Oh, I try to do and come undone.

Fade.

in the heart of my chest,
the ink bleeds further
hands covered in the
words never spoken
my God

this
and only this
won't wipe off your
helping, guiding hands

The blood behind me kisses my feet.
With all the time never spent.
With all the words never said.
I look to my side & kneel.
Before a God too cocky.
Too proud to talk to me.
& with that said I'm done.
I'm beginning to see the light.
& it's so very sickening.
My stomach in knots & I keel over.
Heel Boy.
Now isn't the time.
She never answered that question.
You never asked it. I tell myself
Streamlined seems fine.
Whatever is fastest to get me
out of here, away from fear.

leaving silhouettes of triumph.
casting shadows of torn hearts
mimicking the symptoms
managing the systems &
it's still not enough.
awaited silence.
the pursuit of distance.
almost there now.
devoid of all reason

hold me tight & slip away
into anger.

she wasn't there.
you told me,
she'd be there.
you scold me &
she's waiting
too much time,
Jesus.
she'll disappear,
Jesus.
It takes too much time.

Misplacing all of the failed products. Longevity concerned, I care only for you. 

The oak's mortar cages new flowers. The cabin's perimeter gives death to fallen seeds. 

My eyes do not see. 

Before I speak, our campfire will host a bear's curiosity. 

With haste, flesh and bone become not. The smoke will linger. 

I press my ear to each pipe and listen to dreams of fortune and misfortune unabsolved. 

Pause. Witness the birth of my first love. 

My eyes peer too deep. The line frays. Precious ink is spilled in effort to scribe this Fate once again. 

The young doctor, eager to please, pulls my love too soon. My stillborn future. The ache grows strong. 

Torture is to be with one. Tasting my every conquest as needles, replaced with each new draught. 

Lost is the tunnel producing such ash. May its methods be forgotten. 

Your cage soothes my body. Temporal souvenir to our nights shared in sweat. 

Tell me you have a chance unspent. Love is never easy. Spending it in the backseats or in the inn, just tell me. 

It takes a captain to steer this ship. 

Avert your gaze to the husk of the Kodiak. Memory sparks conversation 'twixt us. 

Past deeds taint her innocence. But the blackness never darkens when devouring light. 

Enlightenment is nothing to speak of. Today is a peace. Close to battle my margin's leavings. 

My breakings of the law. A wizard's construct. 

My posture will retrieve your witness. Farewell my only sculpture. Veins misplaced. 

Our poles are pure. Adversity in his age. 

Separate from your image, fickle love. 

All of these words to confess the revation of my sight restored. I always hope you've stayed true. 

Perfect dream. Thieving silo. Joyous halo, how much stronger your ore will become. 

Challenges in the hammering. Perceive the bitings of the fingernails. A day left alone. 

Where am I these days? In a place far from worry. 

In the wilderness. Or the sequestered stables of the city. 

I may not speak again. 

With this closer feeling I stray towards a life of acquisition. 

Lead me my true love. 

Grant me decay and mercifully first, your poison.