Dreaming in the closet and I will have the same as you. You must know I feel you.
As all and before. Come hither. Bring your noose and the last dress we sold our skins for.
Cheap witness, plagiarize our scars and pass them onto former lovers.
The newest additions run no deeper than the stories of your hide resting in his closest.
And how funny it is.

My dreams and my silences against your pleasings and your oiled canvas.
May you rub your nose open.
Your skin will fall.

"Please no more. Leave me with the husks of before."

Listen. And your age will weep it's loss.
Your strings are knotted. Just above the hemline, your goddesses crumble.

I try to struggle.
I try the dance with any devil present.
Believe that you will remember.

And I try so hard.

So sleep and dream.

Maybe an equal amount make it out alive.

"Bring me love. "

A subwoofer and an altar.
Decorations and a substance to make it so holy.
Thou preacheth and thou washeth away.

The ball drops and I become a man, I survive cancer.

I begin to wear dresses.
Examining myself in the magic mirror.
Wondering what it is that makes the mythos.
The mythos involving difficulty and strife when speaking of womanhood.

Staring at the ceiling brings a thought. Wipe the mote from my eye. A pale horse approaches. A scab remains unhealed. A bruise is formed. A question.

Thus...

I'm asked how it went.

And I wonder what it was I chose to share.

What was it I chose to separate my memory from?

I refrain.

A drink in my left hand and a drink in my right hand.

The door buckles. Machiavelli. Police. Jilted exes.

I am afraid for one half second.
I forget for one half second that I am calm and tranquil water.
I forget for a second that a beast rests at the base of my skull.

I remember to be grateful.

I look down at my pens and smile.

I look up and sever the necks which once felt so proud and so soft.

Tearing limbs from sockets I find peace.
I find love.
I find undstanding.

And I can't stress enough this cadence.

One half of a whole.

Fall down with the chains of your wrists.
Broken  reflects in thousand shard beauty.
I've found that splinters are calm.
Hunting deer.
Hunted runs home.
Felt in growing stains.
Reach.
My glass, sheltered.
It is no break yet.
Not without your little dog.
Your little pain.
All night saying.
Be different & open.

All night I say that this is not.

And only yesterday I played this game.
Serial drifts.
Everything you love, never wanted.

I'm seeing now as we speak.
Just clutch your head.
Clutch and strap.

Be a cradle for yourself.

Your breath stained louse.

Assuming language I'm not seeing.
Coming, resting under your house.

The wind raining, shaking my will acerbic.
Now I.
Under your bones.
Dusty willows shedding.
No reason for your family's passing.
Which giant now?

We're joining.
We've joined.

Talked alone
in halls nestled by tree top paradisos.

Thank you for moving, your bruises scared me.
Release them, divide them, spend us on yourself.
Tell them to show us your heart.
I feel so far reversed.
It's not yesterday.

I was told there's to be a sky. 
Blue, pure and infinite. 

There are rivets instead. 
And paint peeling in place of wonder and oust for a godess's bed. 

This is before the chanting. 

With holy knowledge, I walk past the salt fires. 

My head is not low enough to stop the piercing of their eyes. 

Under my straw hat I listen while fish begin their journey towards flight. 

Death brings lessons for us all. 

Under the city's bridge, your reflection shimmers and breaks with each of the world's turns. 

So remove yourself. 

Next year there will be time enough to secure your footing. 

For now a few restraint will hold. 

Your presence is majestic. 

Above the clouds. 

With none to see you fall. 

None to hear the surrounding thunder.

He is driven exotic. 

I am standing in the concrete's heated air. 

My wait passes past my eyes. 

In search of her with rusted pipes. 

The engine is smoking and she too is smoking. 

His exhaust smells of wolf fed sheep. 

We the sheep fed wolves. 

We are staring into our fading mists thick with violence so fragile.

He is driven exotic. 

I am standing in the concrete's heated air. 

My wait passes past my eyes. 

In search of her with rusted pipes. 

The engine is smoking and she too is smoking. 

His exhaust smells of wolf fed sheep. 

We the sheep fed wolves. 

We are staring into our fading mists thick with violence so fragile.

I suffocate my brain with gin.
Again.
I'm seashores and tin.
I bend.

Proximity alert.
The priest becomes megaphone. Spilling my guts when the circuit breaks.

Privacy. Harmony.

Quickly decode the differences.

Hollow bones.

Betsow a vision.
I ask to receive.
I feel the answers.
Too light to break this Earth's atmosphere.
Too late.
Behold,my vision.

The infant sleep of Mother Earth.
A great extinction.
A man is born with grey in his heart.
His thoughts unformed.

A ridge of her leaking core.
A beach with sterilizing water.
Meeting and leaving.
A pool of molten glass.
A lake of cold translucent glass.

A rock to fracture the truth.
A crack forms.
A club is pulled from there.

Echo. Echo. Echo.

Julia sways in the same Winter, losing an up hill battle of deep seated Calvinistic virtues and the excitation of *******.
@@@ Julia goes on weekend holiday with her parents in hopes of losing her virginity in some square of Savannah.
@@@ Julia packs a bible, hoping to burn it in a symbolic rite of passage.
@@@ Julia packs a doll, hoping to drop it from a rocky bluff, post de flowerization, a highly political and artistic statement.
@@@ Julia packs the lucky strike cigarettes she took from the family gardener years ago, saved for her first post coitus cigarette.
@@@ Julia fiddles with a razor in her parents washroom. Breaking a piece and tucking it in her fingernail, as she read once that prostitutes do.
&&& Julia plans to draw blood in her ******; the man or men severing herself from the responsibility of a ***** & she severing her skin as tribute to a new brokenness.
@@@ Julia fantasizes her flower's loss to be on a rich man's bed with one or two plainly handsome sons of a rich man.
@@@ Julia desires the experience to be ******, seething with heat and violence.
@@@ Julia prays for this chaos, to shed her modest and humble skin, to become a quiet ***** in this painful flash of light.
@@@

Wondering if I should continue engraving my name on these fables.
I should give up.
Or I will start.
I wait for the midnight to move.
Sleeping for her newest hour.
This point brings me no higher.
With this fortune I move every warlock in this world.
Pictures worth many words.
Letters not worth burning.
Over all the words, the few strikes of the storm.
Jumping from dilated memories.
This is enough erasing.

Just a few lines.
Just dropping by.
Balance it.
Neustadt.
But it's small tragedy here on my rnd, visit your end.
Yeah flowers so.

Also, I mean.

Behold.
The cup is full my love.
My ribs are now held close.
With silk so tender and nameless.
And your lips newly plumped.
Your skin perfect finally.
Pore less.

Take these paper memories, these fragile moons, break them for our bed.
Our perfect rest. A final mistake. 
Fear for the future. The past is not to come. 

Forever leathered throats and close knit bones. 
Drink tonight. 
It is only a carton away. 
The death of your insecurities. 

You drive by and smell the rot. 
By the creek, the timbers never cured. 

Forget the trees lining your sunset. 
Drink. Allow your beach to rise as you fall. 
Refresh again. 

Someone else. 
Peel away the layers and remove your face from this haunting. 
Step outside into the night's cold brilliance. 

Scream. 
Allow yourself to wake. And pretend for a pence that this is it. This is light. 
With your back against the ceiling. 
And again my eternity, with your back against the quilt. 
Sweat and tremble, awake in you what stayed weak. 

Control emotion in the room, wait for the paint to dry. 
A cold abyss grown darker with these moments at work. 
These hollows of warmth. 

I'm directing this and you are arriving with sickness. 
Just a puzzle eternal now. 
A walk on the beach chasing sand. 
Waiting for dust. 

Scream.

fold me into place

it's a free ticket

my petal falls off

Your wasted will stay dead.
Your wasted will remember.
Your wanted will return.
Staring at your potent weapons.  
Look through lead, end of tunnel.
****** adept.
You.
Scared of blank wrinkles.

This wave familiar. Step forward. It's beauty a secret shared tonight.
Begging & pleading wild ocean, on Earth I've learned all things you held & sold.
Dropping receipts & cowering behind dumpsters.

My focus secure, I drown in the crashing.

Nowhere you'll be.

Rust. Crates of dust spell love.

******* daggers fix your slips.
A thousand times this year.

The wounds on your heart claw at my desk.  

The black spills from your eyes.

We are left with a blue sadness.

Hello my past-loved muse. I am not creator now.
Remember days ago and you'll not see me there.
Success to be found in my life, yes.  
Let's walk my wasteland, my mecca to be.
Close your eyes of wind begins to stir.
The stagnation is chilling.
There to my left is sterile ground.
  Abyss in the sea of nonexistence.
Stirring. They souls not yet pulled into my catastrophe.
I spend the nights swimming along voids.
And I waste my days questioning true North.

There is something just below my heart.
Though you say I own no such thing, I feel a virus dancing.

Though you tell me I am bones and rot.
I feel life and discipline festering.

August Twenty Sixth.  

Metronome cabinet.

Metronomic alignments.

A selfish ghost for my cups alone.

Your heart's ashes arrive late.

The celebration is a ten cent word hated.

Removing the light you cast with grace.

I've held up this staircase.
Couldn't stop my plans.


Watch the channel change.
And then say nothing.


With the trace of you, we toast for equations.

It's just the July promise.

Your flame floating.
Dying under Heaven's veil.

Who is it now
to say that speed brings me here?

Birth. A light to darken your mistakes.

Slip into the film.

No I don't understand how your words felt.

Clean porcelain.
Tender libido.
A slip between sheets, ice cold tears.

Shivering paint cowered and dry

Peeling the witnesses back and taking the dry fruit from inside

So what was is now a blistered and simpler time

Humming a tune to understand and believe a strange omen exists out there

In the blue darkness and in the reddish orange shadows a stranger washes his lovers' hands

What could be, I wonder and what will be

So a blue tricycle sits alone
An infant's coffin collecting grass

The soul bubbles and graves are pushed outward

A blossom most appropriate for the New Year

And tonight they stayed, spoke of their dreams and crushes

One speaks of a vacuum


One far away dissolving stars and thinning water filled moons

The future is a pile of sand
Sad and uncollected

The water becomes oil and eyes close and leave the head to sleep




#Tragedy

& when I sleep at night, my window opens.

Winter creeps in & steals the warmth of your memory.

Smothering only hope & rewriting my repose,

My hollow form, now torn, twisted.

I am man again.

All the same.

I'm not the threads scarring your dreams.

Sensibly I seek strength.

& hover towards that lonesome window.

& bolt it's cold steel latch.

& stumble.

Through the frosted pane.

Into deep liquid night, my eyes close.

Three hours until I'll fall in love again.

Drive through the river black. Crawl home & ask "Would?" to all strangers with foreign coin. A royal breath to understand this sadness. Steel risk sets a new face for this journey.

Lover, a hole opens in the universe & we step lightly to the side. Heavens pour forth, searching for this true love. Rapture is born & we taste it's clean purity.

Monstrous fumes bellow, their source, a simple treasure chest. Inside, the flame still burns. Sun-scarred eyes. Love steals the rot from my bones, a simple frame keeps me here.

Take in this amazing night.

And this brings me a new phone to make sure you're aware and

Tin fills my stomach

A rate this steep and that light became old. But not without my hair tightly covering all this darkness.

My mind brings me back to the wax. Somewhere. But not the table top

Taxable and unable to keep up. Put my teeth away?
And oh this isn't so new.

Another ending. Repeating. For one but really
I made noise also.

Very strong American noise.

Very very strong American noise.

This is too strong.

This noise.

Little corners chewed away.

Tinder.
Awakening with whales.
Awaiting some take away.

Some belly.

It is noise.

an we watch light become our thiughts
our thighs

our times

her thighs
and movement

a movement and

i dont know

but i know tonight

i hsve

been laid

with urgency

without me

mos importantly

you were not the he

the stitch in her

melody

but i shall

but i couyld

tell you who thinks of me at night
but no

not tonight

i feel mydelf coliiding in the  orning

with the things i gave myself to

laswt night

'
a bill

a fold

a fold in my innocence

I see no end in a silent thicket no one sees me.
The thorns quiet.
Why?

Yes.
Elevate my head and rotate my neck.
A blue twig blue with age and flame.
Blue for the message I did not receive.
A sound is etched.
Carnivals full of life, a maiden's fair breast.
Ancient tablature.
Fitting the lens.
Moving filth with tilt and focus.
An oar for each digit.
And each digit pulled from ore.
Children of a prometheal defecation.

P.m.


Perceiving all I can touch.
Marvel.
Cut the red carpet in factories.
A continent.

Divide and substract from zero.
If incorrect, rewrite and remember.

The heads and their jowls sag together under fluffy tempered weather.

Strung together by pearls as pearls.
In pearls.

A snake coiled between reef and coral.

I imagined and then begged for more pain.

The tape repeats that I imagined and begged for more pain.

But in the end did I imagine or did I beg more pain?

Petals fall.
The machine comfortable with its operator.

A hiss in the belly.
As in olden days the yellow humor is drained.
Is this self harm, is so be ye machine or man.

A woman knows no pain. Reject from census. Illustrate.
A butterfly found in a volcano.

Neigh.
Neigh for dark clouds all colts and mares whisper.

Just a cloud. As any other thing.

An argument stitched into this plane.

The past becomes a wound, weeping and gurgling.

Features of the brain. Festered.

The ears not quite level.

A fever.
A flick of the wrist.

The pinky nail holding a *****'s protection.

Catastrophe spelling itself as ***.


A petal falls there at night.
In the place where delegates made children weep.

Petals where tears learned to fall quiet and then silent.

A feeling where you are already dead but people cry for you.

The flattening of this moment. 
Hesitation pulls by and the years fill this second. 
The asphalt opened by the recent pattering burns our noses. 
In this coffin of olfactory citizenship, the town's halls are burnt. 

I am asked by the labels of stewardship how my knot is. 
My response multiple times heavies is the same, it is a question. 

My mind, behind the glass left behind in your watching, our gaze ritualized. 
But now forgotten, our love, now torn, our complete identity hidden, pulled away,set alone as the flu pushes it's way towards iur meals. 

Your intestines will **** down. In irritation, you open yourself for infection. 
The ants begin their flood. 
Bereft this skyscraper. 
And with them, my years of servitude, past, future and present. 
My future of, stripped away. 

Visions of my hands clasping the aluminum and moving the volume closer to its max. 

And this is gone as you begin to bubble. 
Inprisoned in your pearl green coffin. 

Your ears balloon and your eyes sink further into your skull. 
The air is not completely escaped the vessel grounding you. And transporting your cell's cessation onto more fertile ground. 

And I have lost you completely. 
I have questioned your love for me and I burn now. 
Spittle falls to my Oxford as I ponder my future.  

To move you as sworn. 
I. 
To say I love you. 
To move forward and forget all. 

To recognize the coal's glow. 
And to cover them, forgetting their resonance when combined. 

I will push this lie further into my future. 

You. 
Radiating tan. 
Covered with the sliver of silk. 
Red with the corpses of lives more exotic when crushed and heated. 

Did something happen? Was the cause your own?
Or a drunks from long before?
A shard of glass from the struggle of some prior Saturday?

I can't stop drinking. 
I dress in blacks and browns. 

And greys. 

The terrible muddled cover of a color neither masking nor portraying my innocence, my shame. 

Much hotter, I am told. 
The depths are. Ur I got away all concepts of torture. 
A new anguish from the ashes. 
Without absolution. 

Convicted that the cog's smoothness is a feather in the wind. 
I step into Time's antiquated machine and perform the rituals to spark its engine. 

The combustion, neither burns clean. Or soiled. 
It tells no story of the future I will hold. 
My rings burn in its power and my teeth chatter in the when-after. 

Hello mother. 
Brother. 
Lover. 

You. 
You who are bones. 
You who is the primordial soup. 
With ever hatching infant eyes. 

The most difficult part of the cold is not knowing what is dry or what is wet. 

Be it these eyes or this heart of mine. 

I transform and hide no longer. 
When my answer is given, the answer is;

"Which?"

Ourselves or the wounds she'd obtain?

He names the vice
I name the price
With this we find

I refrain

Comfort for me
Replace these words with love
and we discover happiness

And you

and I become

Beautiful charred emotion

Pulled from that molten shore of an early earth

This will never end because I want more

If we had a brain we could regret
If we had a heart we would heal

Nay the spring slash summer pulls us internal

Nay it's you

You
So curious

And so evocative

Of man of
Woman
Of a soul

Still a flea

A voice here could want to sing

There in this polymer quietness

Bite my tongue, tear it out
Blink an eye

Unearthed that knowledge

I'm running out of time

And you run

And I'm still running for my life

I was fifteen
I was twenty four
I was eight and almost thirty

Me now eternal

And I'm still running for my life

muscle lean
stretched
it's fun with saltwater

tanned skin
kissed
bloat in freshwater


blood and *****



head to wall
watching your secrets
spill out

watching with little interest
you,
fevered & mad on the mountain.
bruised & shredded dancers smiling,
nearing his chambers of death.
noting you with little interest
gaze
into me with great interest.