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[Greek: Mellonta  sauta’]

These things are in the future.

Sophocles—’Antig.’

‘Una.’

“Born again?”

‘Monos.’

Yes, fairest and best beloved Una, “born again.” These were
the words upon whose mystical meaning I had so long
pondered, rejecting the explanations of the priesthood,
until Death itself resolved for me the secret.

‘Una.’

Death!

‘Monos.’

How strangely, sweet Una, you echo my words! I
observe, too, a vacillation in your step, a joyous
inquietude in your eyes. You are confused and oppressed by
the majestic novelty of the Life Eternal. Yes, it was of
Death I spoke. And here how singularly sounds that word
which of old was wont to bring terror to all hearts,
throwing a mildew upon all pleasures!

‘Una.’

Ah, Death, the spectre which sate at all feasts! How often,
Monos, did we lose ourselves in speculations upon its
nature! How mysteriously did it act as a check to human
bliss, saying unto it, “thus far, and no farther!” That
earnest mutual love, my own Monos, which burned within our
bosoms, how vainly did we flatter ourselves, feeling happy
in its first upspringing that our happiness would strengthen
with its strength! Alas, as it grew, so grew in our hearts
the dread of that evil hour which was hurrying to separate
us forever! Thus in time it became painful to love. Hate
would have been mercy then.

‘Monos’.

Speak not here of these griefs, dear Una—mine, mine
forever now!

‘Una’.

But the memory of past sorrow, is it not present joy? I have
much to say yet of the things which have been. Above all, I
burn to know the incidents of your own passage through the
dark Valley and Shadow.

‘Monos’.

And when did the radiant Una ask anything of her Monos in
vain? I will be minute in relating all, but at what point
shall the weird narrative begin?

‘Una’.

At what point?

‘Monos’.

You have said.

‘Una’.

Monos, I comprehend you. In Death we have both learned the
propensity of man to define the indefinable. I will not say,
then, commence with the moment of life’s cessation—but
commence with that sad, sad instant when, the fever having
abandoned you, you sank into a breathless and motionless
torpor, and I pressed down your pallid eyelids with the
passionate fingers of love.

‘Monos’.

One word first, my Una, in regard to man’s general condition
at this epoch. You will remember that one or two of the wise
among our forefathers—wise in fact, although not in
the world’s esteem—had ventured to doubt the propriety
of the term “improvement,” as applied to the progress of our
civilization. There were periods in each of the five or six
centuries immediately preceding our dissolution when arose
some vigorous intellect, boldly contending for those
principles whose truth appears now, to our disenfranchised
reason, so utterly obvious —principles which should
have taught our race to submit to the guidance of the
natural laws rather than attempt their control. At long
intervals some master-minds appeared, looking upon each
advance in practical science as a retrogradation in the true
utility. Occasionally the poetic intellect—that
intellect which we now feel to have been the most exalted of
all—since those truths which to us were of the most
enduring importance could only be reached by that analogy
which speaks in proof-tones to the imagination alone,
and to the unaided reason bears no weight—occasionally
did this poetic intellect proceed a step farther in the
evolving of the vague idea of the philosophic, and find in
the mystic parable that tells of the tree of knowledge, and
of its forbidden fruit, death-producing, a distinct
intimation that knowledge was not meet for man in the infant
condition of his soul. And these men—the poets—
living and perishing amid the scorn of the
“utilitarians”—of rough pedants, who arrogated to
themselves a title which could have been properly applied
only to the scorned—these men, the poets, pondered
piningly, yet not unwisely, upon the ancient days when our
wants were not more simple than our enjoyments were
keen—days when mirth was a word unknown, so
solemnly deep-toned was happiness—holy, august, and
blissful days, blue rivers ran undammed, between hills
unhewn, into far forest solitudes, primeval, odorous, and
unexplored. Yet these noble exceptions from the general
misrule served but to strengthen it by opposition. Alas! we
had fallen upon the most evil of all our evil days. The
great “movement”—that was the cant term—went on:
a diseased commotion, moral and physical. Art—the
Arts—arose supreme, and once enthroned, cast chains
upon the intellect which had elevated them to power. Man,
because he could not but acknowledge the majesty of Nature,
fell into childish exultation at his acquired and still-
increasing dominion over her elements. Even while he stalked
a God in his own fancy, an infantine imbecility came over
him. As might be supposed from the origin of his disorder,
he grew infected with system, and with abstraction. He
enwrapped himself in generalities. Among other odd ideas,
that of universal equality gained ground; and in the face of
analogy and of God—in despite of the loud warning
voice of the laws of gradation so visibly pervading
all things in Earth and Heaven—wild attempts at an
omniprevalent Democracy were made. Yet this evil sprang
necessarily from the leading evil, Knowledge. Man could not
both know and succumb. Meantime huge smoking cities arose,
innumerable. Green leaves shrank before the hot breath of
furnaces. The fair face of Nature was deformed as with the
ravages of some loathsome disease. And methinks, sweet Una,
even our slumbering sense of the forced and of the far-
fetched might have arrested us here. But now it appears that
we had worked out our own destruction in the ******* of
our taste, or rather in the blind neglect of its
culture in the schools. For, in truth, it was at this crisis
that taste alone—that faculty which, holding a middle
position between the pure intellect and the moral sense,
could never safely have been disregarded—it was now
that taste alone could have led us gently back to Beauty, to
Nature, and to Life. But alas for the pure contemplative
spirit and majestic intuition of Plato! Alas for the [Greek:
mousichae]  which he justly regarded as an all-sufficient
education for the soul! Alas for him and for it!—since
both were most desperately needed, when both were most
entirely forgotten or despised. Pascal, a philosopher whom
we both love, has said, how truly!—”Que tout notre
raisonnement se reduit a ceder au sentiment;” and it is
not impossible that the sentiment of the natural, had time
permitted it, would have regained its old ascendency over
the harsh mathematical reason of the schools. But this thing
was not to be. Prematurely induced by intemperance of
knowledge, the old age of the world drew near. This the mass
of mankind saw not, or, living lustily although unhappily,
affected not to see. But, for myself, the Earth’s records
had taught me to look for widest ruin as the price of
highest civilization. I had imbibed a prescience of our Fate
from comparison of China the simple and enduring, with
Assyria the architect, with Egypt the astrologer, with
Nubia, more crafty than either, the turbulent mother of all
Arts. In the history of these regions I met with a ray from
the Future. The individual artificialities of the three
latter were local diseases of the Earth, and in their
individual overthrows we had seen local remedies applied;
but for the infected world at large I could anticipate no
regeneration save in death. That man, as a race, should not
become extinct, I saw that he must be “born again.”

And now it was, fairest and dearest, that we wrapped our
spirits, daily, in dreams. Now it was that, in twilight, we
discoursed of the days to come, when the Art-scarred surface
of the Earth, having undergone that purification which alone
could efface its rectangular obscenities, should clothe
itself anew in the verdure and the mountain-slopes and the
smiling waters of Paradise, and be rendered at length a fit
dwelling-place for man:—for man the
Death-purged—for man to whose now exalted intellect
there should be poison in knowledge no more—for the
redeemed, regenerated, blissful, and now immortal, but still
for the material, man.

‘Una’.

Well do I remember these conversations, dear Monos; but the
epoch of the fiery overthrow was not so near at hand as we
believed, and as the corruption you indicate did surely
warrant us in believing. Men lived; and died individually.
You yourself sickened, and passed into the grave; and
thither your constant Una speedily followed you. And though
the century which has since elapsed, and whose conclusion
brings up together once more, tortured our slumbering senses
with no impatience of duration, yet my Monos, it was a
century still.

‘Monos’.

Say, rather, a point in the vague infinity. Unquestionably,
it was in the Earth’s dotage that I died. Wearied at heart
with anxieties which had their origin in the general turmoil
and decay, I succumbed to the fierce fever. After some few
days of pain, and many of dreamy delirium replete with
ecstasy, the manifestations of which you mistook for pain,
while I longed but was impotent to undeceive you—after
some days there came upon me, as you have said, a breathless
and motionless torpor; and this was termed Death by
those who stood around me.

Words are vague things. My condition did not deprive me of
sentience. It appeared to me not greatly dissimilar to the
extreme quiescence of him, who, having slumbered long and
profoundly, lying motionless and fully prostrate in a mid-
summer noon, begins to steal slowly back into consciousness,
through the mere sufficiency of his sleep, and without being
awakened by external disturbances.

I breathed no longer. The pulses were still. The heart had
ceased to beat. Volition had not departed, but was
powerless. The senses were unusually active, although
eccentrically so—assuming often each other’s functions
at random. The taste and the smell were inextricably
confounded, and became one sentiment, abnormal and intense.
The rose-water with which your tenderness had moistened my
lips to the last, affected me with sweet fancies of
flowers—fantastic flowers, far more lovely than any of
the old Earth, but whose prototypes we have here blooming
around us. The eye-lids, transparent and bloodless, offered
no complete impediment to vision. As volition was in
abeyance, the ***** could not roll in their sockets—
but all objects within the range of the visual hemisphere
were seen with more or less distinctness; the rays which
fell upon the external retina, or into the corner of the
eye, producing a more vivid effect than those which struck
the front or interior surface. Yet, in the former instance,
this effect was so far anomalous that I appreciated it only
as sound—sound sweet or discordant as the
matters presenting themselves at my side were light or dark
in shade—curved or angular in outline. The hearing, at
the same time, although excited in degree, was not irregular
in action—estimating real sounds with an extravagance
of precision, not less than of sensibility. Touch had
undergone a modification more peculiar. Its impressions were
tardily received, but pertinaciously retained, and resulted
always in the highest physical pleasure. Thus the pressure
of your sweet fingers upon my eyelids, at first only
recognized through vision, at length, long after their
removal, filled my whole being with a sensual delight
immeasurable. I say with a sensual delight. All my
perceptions were purely sensual. The materials furnished the
passive brain by the senses were not in the least degree
wrought into shape by the deceased understanding. Of pain
there was some little; of pleasure there was much; but of
moral pain or pleasure none at all. Thus your wild sobs
floated into my ear with all their mournful cadences, and
were appreciated in their every variation of sad tone; but
they were soft musical sounds and no more; they conveyed to
the extinct reason no intimation of the sorrows which gave
them birth; while large and constant tears which fell upon
my face, telling the bystanders of a heart which broke,
thrilled every fibre of my frame with ecstasy alone. And
this was in truth the Death of which these bystanders
spoke reverently, in low whispers—you, sweet Una,
gaspingly, with loud cries.

They attired me for the coffin—three or four dark
figures which flitted busily to and fro. As these crossed
the direct line of my vision they affected me as forms;
but upon passing to my side their images impressed me
with the idea of shrieks, groans, and, other dismal
expressions of terror, of horror, or of woe. You alone,
habited in a white robe, passed in all directions musically
about.

The day waned; and, as its light faded away, I became
possessed by a vague uneasiness—an anxiety such as the
sleeper feels when sad real sounds fall continuously within
his ear—low distant bell-tones, solemn, at long but
equal intervals, and commingling with melancholy dreams.
Night arrived; and with its shadows a heavy discomfort. It
oppressed my limbs with the oppression of some dull weight,
and was palpable. There was also a moaning sound, not unlike
the distant reverberation of surf, but more continuous,
which, beginning with the first twilight, had grown in
strength with the darkness. Suddenly lights were brought
into the rooms, and this reverberation became forthwith
interrupted into frequent unequal bursts of the same sound,
but less dreary and less distinct. The ponderous oppression
was in a great measure relieved; and, issuing from the flame
of each lamp (for there were many), there flowed unbrokenly
into my ears a strain of melodious monotone. And when now,
dear Una, approaching the bed upon which I lay outstretched,
you sat gently by my side, breathing odor from your sweet
lips, and pressing them upon my brow, there arose
tremulously within my *****, and mingling with the merely
physical sensations which circumstances had called forth, a
something akin to sentiment itself—a feeling that,
half appreciating, half responded to your earnest love and
sorrow; but this feeling took no root in the pulseless
heart, and seemed indeed rather a shadow than a reality, and
faded quickly away, first into extreme quiescence, and then
into a purely sensual pleasure as before.

And now, from the wreck and the chaos of the usual senses,
there appeared to have arisen within me a sixth, all
perfect. In its exercise I found a wild delight—yet a
delight still physical, inasmuch as the understanding had in
it no part. Motion in the animal frame had fully ceased. No
muscle quivered; no nerve thrilled; no artery throbbed. But
there seemed to have sprung up in the brain that of
which no words could convey to the merely human intelligence
even an indistinct conception. Let me term it a mental
pendulous pulsation. It was the moral embodiment of man’s
abstract idea of Time. By the absolute equalization
of this movement—or of such as this—had the
cycles of the firmamental orbs themselves been adjusted. By
its aid I measured the irregularities of the clock upon the
mantel, and of the watches of the attendants. Their tickings
came sonorously to my ears. The slightest deviations from
the true proportion—and these deviations were
omniprevalent—affected me just as violations of
abstract truth were wont on earth to affect the moral sense.
Although no two of the timepieces in the chamber struck the
individual seconds accurately together, yet I had no
difficulty in holding steadily in mind the tones, and the
respective momentary errors of each. And this—this
keen, perfect self-existing sentiment of
duration—this sentiment existing (as man could
not possibly have conceived it to exist) independently of
any succession of events—this idea—this sixth
sense, upspringing from the ashes of the rest, was the first
obvious and certain step of the intemporal soul upon the
threshold of the temporal eternity.

It was midnight; and you still sat by my side. All others
had departed from the chamber of Death. They had deposited
me in the coffin. The lamps burned flickeringly; for this I
knew by the tremulousness of the monotonous strains. But
suddenly these strains diminished in distinctness and in
volume. Finally they ceased. The perfume in my nostrils died
aw
Gabs Aug 2020
Heart-Pounding,
Beating out of my chest even.
Deep breath in, deep breath out.

Lips Quivering,
Teeth lightly nibbling the inner lining of my mouth.
Deep breath in, deep breath out.

Clouded Vision,
Constant tears dripping down my cheek.
Deep breath in, deep breath up.

Hands Trembling,
Objects easily slipping from my grasp.
Deep breath in, deep breath out.

Unruly Speech,
Unwanted whispers rolling off my tongue.
Deep breath in, deep breath out.

Limited Oxygen,
Panting heavily in a struggle for air.
Deep breath…

Wait.

Stop.

Think.

Why must we always take a breath?
Why must we be forced to push away our emotions,
Masking them with the habitual action of meditative respiring?
Why must we always breathe in, breathe out?

But are we really disguising our emotions?

Are we not just calming the soul,
Clearing the mind of unwanted thoughts and anxieties?
Are we not just providing ourselves with healing,
Alleviation from the painful memories engulfing the mind?

Yes.

Yes, we are.

So…

Deep breath in, deep breath out,
Quiet the pounding of your heart.

Deep breath in, deep breath out,
Tranquilize the tremulousness of your lips.

Deep breath in, deep breath out,
Stop the flow of your once never ending stream of tears.

Deep breath in, deep breath out,
Relax the overactivity of your limbs.

Deep breath in, deep breath out,
Replace your anxious whispers with peaceful meditations.

Deep breath in, deep breath out,
Rectify your oxygen flow.

Don’t mask your emotions,
Regulate your responsiveness.
Evaluate your situation.
Intelligently weigh your decisions.
Dominate your way of thinking.

Deep breath in, deep breath out.

It works.

I promise.
When knowing a man who emigrates through the hemispheres, who dialogues with his senses, that he gets tired as if marasmus were overtaking him, contravening his health, and his odorifying need leads him to balance, but an insane frenzy stigmatized any reasoning by not enjoying his style of life. It is continually said that he wants to be a witness to his existence but does not approve of leaving him, subdued by his psychiatric condition. Let hatred remain numb, and perhaps I will not let go of having a living companion close by. What God Make his power trustworthy, and not only in misfortunes go to the union of forces, in the worrying mutuality of help, of the nascent good of the origin and not grant it in administration to the wealth of weak and innocent brains. And I, who still sharpen my flooded will, who more defensively underlies his aneurysms, barricading the escapes towards a worse evil, perhaps relentlessly I will prosecute myself or ****** me away. Motivated is my perfection and not the contraction of the wandering humanities. This world of orates is an aesthetic world of theirs, now that I know not to belong to the singularity, I will calmly know how to alienate myself more, and if I am to be evil, I will ride the Leviathan or the enemy of Ahab's wooded foot, so that together with them in the confinement he goes in search of stimulation and thus appears among them before the same madness. I raise my neck in fear to see the frightened rabbit, fleeing by the fire emanating from the dragon shotgun, as if he saw myself reflected in him so defenseless and unable to wander through his extensive and own habitat, clean of the superior beasts, delaying the greatness expressive of my freedom, of my recognized and predictable meaning, because if my legs feel like thin rows, I can use my arms with confidence, just like the dog run over in the Prehistoric Park.

After a few nights of wakefulness and being immersed in a ****** battle, he makes a preamble to the pain, which is his physical lumbalgy and lithiasis. The psychological pain makes his fingers entangle as if holding them back so as not to bind the fork to his eyes and not also incur in cooling his brain with high doses of alcohol. Because Libídine's troops are ready to set sail and dilate and cause baseness rage, and confusion, which reveals nothing other than being very vain, like discarding the feces. Dizzy is the drunk, destroying neurons with the saline dendrites circulating in his adult body, taking the healthy infantile body away from him. In a strong need to open his eyes, he abruptly comes out of the animistic scholastic dream, where his patriarch the subconscious shares in the awakening and retaining operation of learning. He finally woke up alive and last night if he slept. The morning light spontaneously passed the sclera, and like a very light feather, it rose with its usual companion leaves on his back; calling them ... my sheets!

Another majestic and sunny day greeted him, and the birds that fled to the south, came back inviting rejoicing, inviting happiness, the immortal joy of not being locked in loneliness and bitterness for a long time, but that this hommo in its violence will depend on nature and what each bird carries around the world in Mission of Peace. I know that within the captivity that I endure my conscience has experienced, the same hell enveloping my whole being on the edge of the cliff, where I will fall and float in the burning breath of the flames.I know well that neither countless myths nor superstitions will elucidate the torrent of guttural and non-guttural voices, and those that come from the nucleic experimentations of the origin of the voices that seek outlets to expel them. When he ate with great vigor, he felt his super-manhood emerge, which made his yearning for freshness and power arrive, as if only knowing that he was very strong in every way and very perceptive. Ludwig says that there is nothing to hide, so he will take advantage of going out, and this time he will do it in the direction of Lake Calypso, where he recreated the view of him, and why not, he will share with another homogeneous to his intentions. This will shorten the time left to see his Antoinette, and that her sculpture will hydrate the emotions vexed by Debra's ingratitude, even though she was a passenger on his trip. Her stay at the Lake was serene and with an even climate, that is, the legacy of a good Christian was transmitted by the light of the lights that illuminate the planetary Earth. Ludwig shortened time and at the same time the possession of his spirit, which was the multivalent relic that reached wherever his thought wanted to go because he was gifted in projecting beyond his borders; his consistent body and feeling comfortable with himself and what surrounds him in that beautiful Lake. In the lakeside places of the Earth, none of them should cause him the same pleasure, as has happened with his pupils that, ticklish with laziness, fall into a sleep that he did not expect ...:

The Dream

“The high dome of the Abbey, where the symbolic cross dominates with ******* and authority, is the panorama, where the date or the day is not known. This Abbey can be seen from any point of the Orb, where its architecture delivers the grandiose mystical profile, full of wonder and exaltedness. He is walking along the bay, almost in the final twilight. The night is the darkening stain that suggests relaxation shock, and fatigue; a Mystery of the same feeling of shelter, of the sea cold that also suggests the multiple verbal messages of the Sea and the sky. Where Selene's sparkles bring millions of messages to the plasma, and that it receives them gracefully with dilated and flabby pores. He continues to walk among the crowds that perhaps throw themselves at the brights of the Moon or the stars, or at the artificiality of their belongings. When suddenly the Abbey reddens from the base to the cross, radiating light beyond its profile, until in a short time it became flaming ripples --- Ludwig said What heat ... it's impressive ...!, but something has to be done, I can't stay like this. Not very high from the cross, a few meters away, a pale light turned, with great force that was supposed to have some connection with the burning fire of the holy Abbey. And that light always revolved with the tendency to go out of its orbit, and with unequaled evil to incinerate the Ecological City, his beloved city, where for the first time he saw the light. And so the evil sleeping pill happened, an unknown light left its orbit in the direction of the sea, falling on the dense aquatic mantle. While Ludwig ran without direction, others did it with panic and tremulousness, they were right because from the dense water a ship emerged with crew members who were only exterminated and nobody could escape, not even the most pious, nor the strongest, nobody escaped from the radios exterminating shots. But Ludwig remained unharmed, he saw that the Abbey did not burn, on the contrary, it was reestablished. Looking at the sea he watched the slaughter of those beings, exterminating everything, absolutely everything. Through the middle part of the hills of the city he was still running, perhaps as the only survivor. Saying ...: “I must have caught some baseball bats lying around. Who knows if I would ****** some moment of death and fight with him to save myself, but that was not, and what I carry in my hands is the invisible weapon, the hopeful weapon, or the surprising luck. But the inhabitants of the Photoprism continued their destruction, and the nocturnal black was seen as the hemochrome of callous bursts of dread. Only some voices said what only the pain allowed them to say, placed in the center of the suffering with the unknown of not understanding death and all the derivations. Today the deadly Photoprisma, killed the lives of those who possessed it, as if wanting to ambition the bay and the Abbey, and it seems that these are not the only ones in the Ecological City, but that there is more than the land itself that the light did not disintegrate. Later it dawned, leaving the ravages of the Photoprism drag. It vanished as it appeared, threatening to appear in another magnetic field ... Ludwig walked confused, but safe and sound ... "

When in the dream he became light, in the Calypso Lake the air-cooled that later awakened his dream. Upon coming out of sleep and lying very relaxed in the lake that nurtured him, he was able to contain the murderous attitude that lived in him, and that greatly confused the love he felt from him towards others whom he would smile and caress him. Even his being forgave the men of the Photoprisma, but no matter how affectionate he felt, he would still be lost, and like everyone who is self-esteem he wanted to tell someone what he had dreamed of. He says ...: Debra, Debra ... Where are you ...? Why do I like to see you ...?, I think his body is beautiful, his beautiful lineage, his proportionate *******, they are of a true muse. And now that I try to communicate with her and with my philosophy, I see that by the long or short way I will reach her, and even if it is simplistic Debra, I will want to visit her and extend my hand with everything the heat accumulated towards her, like that of the puppies and her owner.

So the motionless waves keep her passionate love a secret and do not lose position so I will always have a wish in good anathemas to deliver. Perhaps the messenger that I look for in myself will be the thought that manages to bring Debra closer to subtract her true humanity from me and me from her. And the resignation spirit that exists in me today is how she died indefiniteness. It is the spell of man to men who do not forget what is important.
Weirdly Emigrate Chapter V

— The End —