Somehow, I need to learn to strangle the insomniac,
self-inflected, narcissistic monster.
I feel you every ******* day in my fingers, in my bones,
under my skin, thudding hard against my veins.
You pour out so smooth in my words,
and through any **** pen in my shaking hand.

Do you think there’s any hope left in me?
Any innocence spared?
I’d count for the first, but the second’s a toughie.
I’m sick of seeing the same thing when I close my eyes,
and craving the same thing
between my sheets.

This train better stop soon,
or if it’s crashed somewhere-
somewhere deep,
deep down in a place we’d both dare not visit again-
do you wonder if the passengers survived,
and who will appear when the smoke clears?

David George and some call me Huggy bear.

I have been a way for a long while. I missed my home. I missed the people here.

I missed the way to talk, to blog.

I wish I had a camera. Maybe it is better that I don't. I look older now.

I have taken off for easier things , like FB. No stress, just family mostly.

As you mostly know , I have been mostly healthy and out playing sports like tennis and hockey and ***. Well not so much *** but mostly tennis.

I wake up a 10 and I have a great selection of daily activities.

Lately I have been organizing a VRR video recording room. I need to get it finished for the beginning of 2018 but it looks like it will be closer to the middle of 2018. Closet project got in the way.

I found a new friend on FB. She accepted my friend request which makes me happy. I go to her FB page and see her posts which makes me happy.

On Wednesday  we have to go to the hospital for my wife's colonoscopy but I am not looking forward to that.   I have vitalago but it does not hurt. Only when I was a child and kids would tease me about my freaky looking skin.  They would say hurtful things like. You have a skin problem, or you didn't eat your vegetables or call me "burn victim".

My wife is concerned about my drinking. She thinks I drink to much. Well she is right but I still drink to much scotch. She loves me and is concerned about me. I know I should stop and I have in the past.

My health is good and I have great friends to play tennis with.

One day I will make a great partner for my wife and make her very very happy.

Within this last 7 years I have had acid reflux and I take nexium. If I didn't drink I would not need it.

I am a true toughie medically. I believe I am one lucky man to have what I have at age 60. Some people envy me and avoid interaction. They know I have a lot of things they will never have.


I did not expect a certain person to be here. he has proven to be a liar, a someone who needs drama in the worst way. If  there is evil, I look at him that way. he has hurt many on line, off line. I wish not to have anything else to do with him, yet, I fought hard today.. maybe it was because of the losses. Dan from VH, Argent from here, Zen, and as they say it all comes in 3. My heart broke . Vloggers are a rare bunch. Some quite , some loud, and vocal , all the same vloggers , and bloggers. . They vary is sight, some no one see's . But they are spirits of site , and the ones who walk at night that none ever see's .. I came back to the people who somewhat know me. Who I have hard times with, good times , tearful times, but yet we all still exist .I was thinking that if I die, I would want to talk, tell stories, laugh, read, see the wonderful work that Frank does, and hear Lauri's rightful acts. I would like to hear jry again, and all the ladies here. The tes, the crown, the proper . I am just a wild bird, sometimes get stuck in tree's . But I live , I cry, I love and someday will die , but not yet.. I have too much to read and hear. I have loved many, and few have loved me. But yet I loved anyway. Why? because the light is brighter than. The days vetter an the tea sweet,

I am back, I hope I am welcome. I am imply happy to be back