I hated you
I hated you more than I probably understood how to hate
I hated your green eyes and I hated all of the time I wasted staring at them
I hated how you didn't believe in me
I hated how all I was to you was a story that you didn't have to read
but hate doesn't make sense
You can't tear down a tree just because it makes oxygen
If all I was was static than maybe you learned something
Maybe you learned tbat all of those colours on the TV screen were breathing
Maybe you learned the sounds of a heartbeat other than your own
Maybe you learned that somebody could love beautifully with every cell in their body,
Even if you couldn't
Things didn't have to make sense after you
I fell just as much in love with the things I didn't know as I had with your retinas
This is what stronger looks like
All of the cursive loops that make my teachers happy
I didn't understand how to hate you,
I was lost in all these memories that drifted in and out of my bloodstream
You were in there somewhere, I think
In there with all of the things love couldn't describe
Maybe you were a clot and that's why I left you
I did a lot of leaving after you
A lot of doors closed behind me
I lost a lot of good people
I didn't know that love was going to hurt me
I didn't know that love was going to tell me that I wasn't good enough
I didn't know that love could hide for so long that I thought it was dead and still come back,
Pretending to sew up all the damage in its unexpected wake
You were supposed to be beautiful

Do you have people who care about you
How long have known them for
Have they said that they will stick by you
Do they or do they leave

They say that they understand your condition
They say that they won't leave even if you push them away
You're giving them an out
Because you know if they leave when you need them the most

Do you think you are a good person
Have you been there for them when they needed you
Di they reapat back by being there for you
Or do they say you are too much to handle

Do you believe the things they said
Or do you believe that they are wrong
Were they in a bad mood
Or was this a thing tbat was going to happen eventually

Why is it that there is a stigma around mental health
Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it's not real
Everyone gets some form of mental health in their life
Not everyone understands why.

There's a small stream that runs through a valley of white tent rocks
And i'm tuff enough to know that
It doesn't matter though I would
Say that the angle of the soft stone
Agrees to the gravity so casually as if
Or without any doubt the dead tree
Tbat hangs on so angrily will guide
Fate down the right path of finesse
You see you see

Walk it
Run it
Drive it
Quickly
Speedily
Dreamily
See it with different eyes
Embrace what you remember
Open your heart and mind for what may come your way
Down that road again
Down that road again
Dont take me down that road again
I know where I am going and where I have been
Just wanted you to let me in
Hoped to follow a  different bend
Don't take me down tbat road again

(Song lyrics?)

C@rainbowchaser2024