I have a undieing love for you that is a fact proven
And the strands of love we braided together these years are now groven
I would do anything for you my love runs that deep
But time of a love shared has began to get weak
But in my heart it will always be strong
But a relationship between us again now that would be wrong
Even though sometimes we talk on the phone I get lost in our past memories
Then the pains and sorrows of what we had harshly awakens me
But still I would do anything for you
But your let's try again plea just won't do
Yes baby I love you  from the top of my head to the sole of my feet
And if you want me to keep loving you then you would just let me be
No I cannot pick up where we left off and start off new
Still some words you have said to me makes my face blue
Those arguement and fights.... you not coming home some nights
I cannot do it again baby not in this life
I love you enough to leave you its time to be with someone else
And so what if I fantasize about you at times I do it when I'm by myself
I love you enough to give it all up rather than hold it in
I loved you as my girl and I plan to love you more as a friend
Now don't try to put it all on me like I'm the one to blame
Yes I share part in this dilema but you never knew how to be tammed
Don't try to feed me the I changed lies and this time it will be right
Because even though it might be hard for you to believe I sleep great at night
But don't forget I love you
Love you enought to leave you as you have left me times before
For ya friends ya ******* and when you just wanted to be a *****
I have to much pride to have to set aside what my soul knows is correct
I love you baby I love you to death
But I'm not gonna die from stressful things you do
This is why I need you to respect the fact that I love you enought to leave you

But everyone sees this fake facade of me
Not knowing how I really be
Always wanting to cut my skin red
And even some nights just put a gun to my head

But as long as the publics happy, as long as yall are cool
Yall don't see the pain inside me the grown into a beast
A beast that never can be tammed
Who would ever love a ****** girl like me?

The one who says she's "happy", one who says she's "fine"
When in reality all I don't want is to be confined
Pushed into a dark corner, force to see no light
Suffocated by the darkness, slowly adapting

All I wanted was to feel someone's touch
But instead I feel the touch of the bottle pressed against my lips

I wish people could view me as a person who isn't
 happy, secure, and well balanced

Not seeing the darkness underneath

The same darkness that tells me to pick up the knife
And slice the blue apple into a million parts
Praying for myself to pick up the pieces
Before these dark thoughts overcome me

Continuing the cycle of self-abuse
Knowing that no one will ever love me
Because how can they when I don't love myself

Myself that I've been with for X amount of years
I don't know why Im still crying these same **** tears
The tears of emptiness and no emotions
That manifests to loneliness

The feeling of common feelings
That heartache and irrational
Thoughts and figures that appear

I know that death is easy, sounds like pure bliss
However the darkness of the smoke fills my head
It clouds even the easiest parts of me

The very same smoke that suffocates me as I slowly adapt
That's pushed me into a dark corner where the light doesn't reach
Confined by the reality that I don't want to be in

"She not okay, she's not happy nor fine"

The ****** girl that will never find love
Transforms into a beast that has been freed
That uses its pain to feed off of
To avoid depriving the publics happiness to feed on

Some nights I want to use the gun instead
And start to see my pretty skin turn red
But I don't know how it's really suppose to be
To live in a word without the fake facade of me.