Why does
Nobody
Understand?
Wait,
I know.
You are
Not
Me.
You were
Not
Formed
With the
Synopses
Of my
Heart,
Mind,
Soul.
You will
Never
Understand.
You will
Only
Push,
Pull,
Bitter,
Anger,
Control,
Seclude,
Dictate,
R­estrain
Me.
Or try
To.
Ha.
But I
Will
Fight,
Fly,
Free,
Flood,
Bleed,
Dream,
Hope,
Cherish,
Smar­t-***,
Humour,
Play,
Courage.
I will
Be
Me.

I just wish there was another chance to make it right.
After all, you are my light.
The sun to my moon.
Dancing in synopses
Of picturesque form.
Never knowing eachother as a whole.
Only parts in passing flow.
Substance to suffice
The passing of time.
But what will really happen down the line?
Can you honestly say you'd be content without me in your life?
I'll gladly disappear if that's what you'd like.
Maybe that's what needs to happen.
Picture a life
Where I don't exist.
Can you?
Because I cant.
Ever growing.
Ever changing.
A binding engagement.
I never would have said yes
If I knew that life would lead to this.
I honestly wish I could forget.
And that my memories weren't tied to regret.
Honestly the only regret I have
Was ******* up so ******* bad.
To the point in life where I lost you.
I lost you and you're never coming back.
It's really time to face the facts.
Succombing to a fate that you hate to choose.
Always in the position to lose.
I do.
I do.
I do.
I wish we would have made it
To the Isle
To the song we picked out
For the first dance.
It was all picturesque.
I wish I never would have made a plan.
For a future.
Because now that everything is lost
And makes no sense.
It's hard to see a clear happy end.
I honestly can't even hear the name jess.
Without going back
To hope with no end.
It's just sadly not the case.
I need to learn to live my life without seeing your face.
But what if I cant?

I am uncomfortable
   my head is screaming and
   pulling at my body to
   move and fix
It's easy
But somewhere along the journey
of nerves and synopses it dies
I cannot move
I am stuck
too hot
too cold
back searing
neck aching
head lolling
I cannot move