Silence fills my ears

Silence fills my head

Silence fills my entire being

But I'm constantly drawn to it

It consumes me

Although it's not the silence itself  

It's what lies within it

Im being pulled into the darkness that comes along with the peircing silence

Whatever is lurking througout the darkness and the silence is luring me in

But the darkness slowly starts to become one with me

The silnce slowly fades away as the dark over powers it

Soon enough the beautiful silence is gone and all I am left with is the darkness that will soon over power me as well

But I soon realize that there was never any silcence, only darkness

And the darkness was me.

crystal with pearl sitting among the earth starting at its beauty then whatch a swirl a blood covered coating the peals white now completly drowned with red boiling radge filled with anger twisted emotion with a broken heart on half sad, cold hearted in the shawdows afraid to be loved again and the other half wicked and always swoling and evil grinning like a ****** thats gone sycho and lost it way and all ties together into a death blood full moon.
I only see...this no one else i walk alone knowing i lost my friend and she has gone to depths in the shadows like a black whole ****** every bright hope she gets or has slowly get torn by the black whole the resting in her heart. She cries for help but lies in silnce no one can find her not even her soul can find her. She ask for no help, no one...she trust no body not even her self. I repeat over and over to my self only nobody can see her but my other friend may know her may know here but she has no clue she keeps messing every thing for her i create the demon moon with my friend i under stand her that i cannot not tell my other friend
i find her in the black whole and slowly recreating her her white moon

and in the hairs there was blood
strange blood
like that which has concealed yet flows
his fingers probes the feeling
a feeling of immense tension building up within him
like the grieving of a mother for a dead child
that sentences in a mournful court
that which is personal protest
the earth to death
the blood wanders about his body
it feels the geography of his bones
his skin
like some inner universe it navigates itself
to the feeling that is probed
but it is to late
for there is a silnce now
which grows in darkness and consistency
curdling thought
yet when he smiles
he is beautiful

Sometimes I wonder
Where the problem truly lies
Because unlike prophesy says
You cant see pain in someone eyes
No matter how hard you look
Sometimes its deeper than that
I know because the smile I see in the mirror every morning is pretty convincing
Because everyday I can be pretty convincing
You see its not always in the open
Some times the pain is buried behind many locked doors
And a lot of times
We don’t know where to find the key
Tragedy
Is never expected
You didn’t see the president predicting 9/11
And you never would of saw me predicting this
It’s funny
How one second you can be happy
And the next wollowing in despair
Because sometimes you feel like a magician
Making people around you disappear
And it seems like the world is deaf
You scream out and no one seemed to hear
So now your quiet
Now your silent
Living in the world without a voice is violent
Like your hand cuffed
And buried in a coffin
No one you can hear you if you scream
Like tou drowing and ever time you try to open your mouth water fills your lungs
Like your blind folded and cant see
Where life is leading you
Do you ever wonder where your life is leading
Do you ever wonder where you are leading your life
Do you ever wonder
Why you do  things
Or what does it all freakin mean
Do you ever wonder what your missing
It seems like your in a comedy show and everyone is laughing
At something your not quite hearing
Sometimes living without a voice is pretty lonely
But that depression gets to feel *****
Your  reality accepts the silnce
No matter how violent
The pain is now your identity
Depression has stolen your name
You are everything they call you
And at the same time nothing at all
You have let this go on for to long
But you don’t know how to stop
Kind of like an addiction
The silence has grown on you
But what you haven’t noticed
Is that there are people screaming out for help in this world
But you haven’t had time to listen
You have been drowning and couldn’t lend a hand
You have been buried under layers and layers of pain
You secrets have been held so close
You emotions have been put so far back
That you cant remember what feeling them is like
And you have been so focused on how your feeling
That you didn’t care too look around you and see who else is drowning
So silent that instead of speaking on what you saw
You sit back and watch them suffer
You become part of the problem
And its sad
This cycle
Of asking for help
Not getting it
Than not helping anyone else
All you want is for someone to reach out to you
But you can’t reach out to anyone else
We are all drowning
And only if we could work togethere
Maybe
We can get to the surface
Than maybe
We can breathe

this is the nation who loves to write, but the actions are limited to dreams, to thoughts that are not even processed-- this is the nation that hates to be fooled, yet fool ownself again and again by love of things and hatred for people...

i can never attribute to the happenings around me, neither  have i any contribution in making and defaming the things that comfort me, people those adore me, and offcourse ppl haters for me. i just am living a life made by someone and still complaining for the distress they are creating when my contribution in making myself is none.....

i used to think of love for love, an ecstatic love that makes u forget everything-- an enigmatic love above all fragrances, since , i saw those little face at 10 pm, sunday night , no shoes, ***** outfits and running infront of fruit shop with juices in their hands being given by that fruit keeper. they had a vibrance on their faces, as if after long hard day begging they have got what they never dreamt of. they were running but with slow pace for fear of spillage of a single drop, and ofcourse din drink it for long for fear of it may not end so quickly--- I UNDERSTOOD THE MEANING OF YEARNING, LOVE AND DESIRES that night. love has too many aspects, i forgot till that night.

i am sharpening my sixth sense with sounds of imaginative broken heart, a dreadful scream, a dream that is shattered, a helpless soul, a bargain with no benefit, a crack in soul, an irtrepairable hurt. i have sharpened my senses, but still i dnt have a courage to face it.

luxuries never play with the sound mind for they give comfort, they pamper insane heart who is in search of so many things that are not even known to him.

i am in process of making and remaking, yet defying my spirit every day with daily activities makes me a better person. does shaping and reshaoing has any role until ur break and re-break urself??

i am finding a beginning in a chapter, first page of a book with remarks of triumph, and last page of this book with words of gain. i read again and again shame, shame and nothing without shame. discomfort dis-arm me everytime i go through the words of book, and i look for peace in silnce of my sleep.

aghast, tired, struck in confusion, i wrap up everyday the left overs, trash them far in dreams in no- land, with hope of new in another day. sleeps make me tired to wake me up to look for same trash i threw a day back with same lethargic breaths. y days go so long for the beginners??