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Nat Lipstadt Aug 2013
http://m.wikihow.com/Unhook-a-Bra

Pinch the eyelets but oh so gently,
To properly unhook the device to safely release paradise
From it's containment chamber.
This be one of many secrets to unlocking
The mechanism that holds some of the happy things
The human body artist conceived
To perpetuate the
Species.

According to the internet,
To extract joy to the world correctly,
Depends upon both your station and your
Positioning.

Thus, it helps to have GPS,
Which most men think is that pointy thing
Between their legs,
But is not.

Given the laws of gravity,
And other natural limitations,
Sadly that utensil of little avail
In this surgical operation.

If one desires to release the tension
Between the connectors of the protectors,
Guardians of her heart,
It will be necessary to
Let your fingers do the walking.

So cut and paste the title above,
In your web browser place!
Do your homework or risk feeling
As petite as a schnauzer.

Seems your natural tendency,
Righty or lefty, matters in this endeavor,
Of which I was unawares, oft pressing the incorrect lever.
This, the likely cause of my spectacular
Teenage
Fumblings and failures.

Had I known that fact,
In the days before the Internet,
Surely I would have brought along my
Catchers mitt
To step up my game.

Sage advice the article provides:
Get a bra, and practice, practice, practice!
It gets easier with experience.


But methinks that is a bit of a
Risky adventure,
Lest you be seen boy,
Practicing upon yourself,
Or even a dummy,
Dummy!

So cut and paste the title above
In your web browser,
Do your home work or risk feeling
As petite as a pocket schnauzer.

But the most important tip
This wealthy article of information provides,
The conclusion.

In the hour of your desperate struggle,
Drooping
Ego
And
Crushed
Pride,
Ask for assistance from one more practiced,
Hopefully nearby,
Whose help usually comes with a charming smile
of touching condescension
For your male idiocy and verbal in-articulation.

She, unawares, that you have got her
Positioned precisely where you want!


For when you lift her up,
In a free state, the one Divinity intended,
and in your arms, enfolded and protected,
In one grand poetic gesture,
Sweep her off her feet,
Her surprise will be

..
O

So Touching!
No comment.   Nah changed my mind. If you ain't smilin or laughing by now, you need to practice
doing that as well!


Go to

**http://m.wikihow.com/Unhook-a-Bra**

Further research on the subject as suggested by a reader:
Names of Bras - see  http://shop.lululemon.com/products/clothes-accessories/women-sports-bras/Itty-Bracer?cc=4528&skuId;=3503835&catId;=uswwearit1

My fav is Ta Ta Tamer
her muzzle shoves snow
sneezing out all the crystals
no snowshoes needed
M W Dec 2012
His origins, unknown. (He cannot remember that far back)
The first light,
blinded him.
But he could feel the others,
always around him.
Jostling, cramped, comfortable.
He settled down,
further,
until he was close to the bottom.
There,
it was dark.
The noise was less.
But it changed.
He awoke to trembles and whispers,
that turned into a fearful clamor.
They were tipped and tumbled.
He struck the cold surface,
hard.
A jet stream tore his skin,
exposing his light tan under.
All round,
they were naked too.
His shame turned to fury.
Salt was blasted into his wounds,
and then he was tossed in,
he was no longer with his kind.
Others, strangers.
Some were bigger,
some were green,
a few smelled sweetly.
Thoroughly mixed.
Then poured into canisters.
Darkness beckoned,
but this change was new, unsettling.
............
Sudden jolts, and then he and the others tumbled into a clear bowl.
The words on what had been his holding for a month read: "mixed nuts and candy, eat by tomorrow."
He was surprised,
frightened.
He needed to survive.
Struggling to the top, he lunged over,
and toppled over the side onto the floor,
under the ottoman.
He was never missed.
The salt dried him,
cracked,
he thought about giving in and letting the curious schnauzer, Jeffrey, find him.
But, then he found the green bicycle.
A child's toy it was,
but then the game piece gave him hope.
He donned the high hat,
jumped aboard his vessel,
and stared ahead.
He was angry,
alone,
it was too dark here.
He rode out into the light.
Immediately swerving out the open screen door to avoid Jeffrey.
There he found a daisy,
reminding him of a field.
It was green there,
peaceful,
a field of his own,
anger.
It was gone,
Taken.
Inspired by a picture my friend drew for me of a peanut with a top hat riding a green bicycle labeled "The Tale of an Angry Peanut." That's all it took.
Phoenix Rising Sep 2018
LTK
I remember the little red airplane swing outside on the left side of the rickety old country farm house.
You would push me really high when I was little girl after waiting all day with Pepper, the schnauzer.
I remember stealing your kisses to my grandma and telling you she's all mine. I used to be too shy to say I love you, but my smile made you know that I did.
You were everything to me.
You were my dad.
I loved you more than I let you know.
We grew older, you way ahead of me...but we were still so close, always connected by souls. Life has a way to keep young ones so busy...
You got sicker and sicker.
I got used to it.
I just never thought you'd be gone because a part of that child in me believed you were invincible. You were so strong. But..you're human.
I love you, Larry Troy Kester.
I'm too young to lose my dad...
My grand dad...
My dad.
Stop complaining,
it's sunny and hot,
get under a parasol
and get over it,

when it rains complain
when the sun shines
don't whine,

have a spritzer
walk the schnauzer
think yourself lucky
that you can.

I've already been out twice
almost overdosed on gamma
almost but not quite,
did you hear me complaining?
my pet dog emma
a schnauzer from end to end
her barks shatter glass
Ellie Belanger Feb 2017
She sighed and tossed the hair out of her eyes
He sipped loudly from a nearly dry Coke can
"This *****," she said. "I'm going home."
A jazzy song started to play over the outside speakers
A couple ambled past, walking their minituare schnauzer
"Ok." He said, shaking the Coke can irritably.
Interrorbang Feb 2019
When will we meet again?

Never thought that love can be shared without words
Never thought that feelings can be moved like frightened birds

I have never felt such pain as of lately
I know I can sit here for hours and blame myself for days
Hoping and praying that God will lead you back to us
to bring us your love, energy & craze

I know that god brought you into our life's
you were that "special little something", our fallen star
Believe me this is what we promise
that daddy and mommy will try our hardest
to find you wherever you are

Lastly,
Know that every corner will never be overlooked including a browser,
When God decided to give us our first son
He said, "Here you go, it's a Schnauzer
This story is about a time when someone broke into my ex's house and stole our puppy.

— The End —