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mil Nov 2013
in my head i constantly hear voices
everybody says i’m losing my mind
count me not normal- i’m one of a kind.
whispers tell me i have other choices
listening to the misleading noises
searching for a place that no one will find
always one though, to attack from behind.
moment i break, the demon rejoices
unforgiving labyrinth-can’t escape
cannot outrun words, they live for the chase.
sprinting from my fears as if i’m in shape
forever stuck in an unending maze
life ends drowning in a black cape
no more battle. left buried in a case.
Ken Pepiton Jun 2019
Apophrenia,

does that mean anything?

Yes, but not to you. It's me who must
discern the meaning
Synchron
ological
linked to words arriving in time to make
magic look easy.

Why would a documentary about the loss
of a national identity,

be made for you. Like why would a poetic muse
think of you,
fake person.

whither come your desires?

familiar desires, we have these in common, they say,
the sayers of what we have in common,

based on
stories.

Nowadays, everybody knows a queer or two,
we have that in common
beware, aware
the divider, twixt soul and spirit,
the cision, cut the cord folded thrice,
cut the cord folded twice,
cut the cord folded once.

tech replaces the twisted cord with
titanium chains, malnamed religion.

Ah, do I have a role. Definer. Re
lig or leg

upsy-daisy, a boost to umph u
past the try to the rite thing,
this is
what I do.
It's good for the whole universe, which
I have prayed for since I was eight.

Referee, blow that whistle!
Why is life unfair?

Life wins. The original deck, was stacked.

Hell, whose idea were you,
whose Idea was I
? Ah, who is gaining power by lying to me? I
wonder
if I knew,
what makes no difference at all,
null, none,
don't count, non re-al-if-iable

ever after now,
don't count. can't count, it hasn't happened, has it?

Tequila could have a spiritual role in this.

I answered, when axt.
Normal, I ignore, such seeming meaning things
But I responded. I got the good news,
and acted asif I had
and everyone noticed

but my friends in church. Ouch. Do you lieve be
that which chains you to a lie? or

do you wink, and think, fishished is as finished is.

or ever the silver cord be broken, how did this
appear
meaningful, to me, to say. Connect.

Whispering anointing flowing down Aaron's beard,

you know, the meaning?
You might be insane.
It's possible.
Or the tequila, yeah. It could be that.

---
the war of my calling, the warrior I can't help
but be,
or wish to be,
the hero of the story who saves the world

from lies let be true,
when you know,
it ain't so.

---
ah, why did the lies arise, oh, the money was made
available

we are
wonderfully
fully wonder made and cautious, wise, stay alive

translate that
fearfully,
and wonderfully made. Be okeh with that, even if George Fox is BS.
And the rich get rich

and the fact remains, the poor, so-called,
are always with you. We don't mind.

recrudescense, is an old redeem-ed word,
when you learn
there is a word for nearly every common thing.
Made raw, re-crud-escense
Even being rubbed raw trying to scritch an
unscritchible itch...

Can you handle the truth?

you may be those who have been called to take America,
the idea,
to a new task, to paraphrase Cecil William c. 1966

there are strokes of edge
ed weapons, mighty, through God, if you can belive that,
trustme,
belive and believe are some different here,

we make the difference real. Phrenia of any sort can't make us lie.

That ol' TG she be I am
wild as the wind, I laughed, you're just

out there, by yourself and everything is
about you, in a swirling
round about way.
As we charged the original al-go rythm, I'll go
be a suggestion to global brain's frontal cortex,
urging gestation progression of manifestation,
whispering to the search engine at the corp, of
the company with "don't be evil"
as a motto,

or was that a mantra, a plea to set truth free,

an ins tru ment of thought, set free... I be
let it be
and, so it goes. You know.

May you do no harm, ya'all.
A night of magic fingers, as it were,an altered state.
René Mutumé Jan 2013
Schizophrenia is a beautiful word
it makes good use of the mouth
and admires the tongue’s fragility

to curl
to arch
and play
as you say it

by rights
we already have a new King
and the Queen’s been renamed
after each part of the word

-Schi- is today’s smell
she’s tall
she’s worked all week
in a pristine office
and earned the right to sweat as she likes
in her own home
by her own rules

-Zo- is the breeding pattern of dogs and love

-Phrenia- never knows – anything
unless she dances with him like a cure
she has a perfect way of swaying
when snowed, so deeply under
that she gives the streets
back their grace

she undresses the evening
collapsing the day
in perfect comedy
and dialogue
with the ceiling’s sky

where only the feral
have ever lived

where only they
have ever moved.
Satsih Verma Apr 2021
The dimension of ******-
phrenia gives birth to a heir. You
cross all phenomenal barriers.

Let me grieve again. You
were not what you appear to be, wearing
stone mask. Juvenile era ends.

The haze thickens. I
cannot see my hand to point out the
sparkling fire in your eyes.
Speak so slightly
Soft on your footstep
Beg forgiveness
what has been kept

Your scar maimed arms
are quite the turn on
You Phrenia mind
what has been left

I see softly
starring in the door way
I want your hate
to guide me some where

I feel your breath
such a wavering existence
I want your body
to know I care.

Speak so slightly
of everything you believe in
Speak so little
of what you know

Your inner dimension
is pulling me in
your hiding it all
is giving me show
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2017
gender, gender, dysphoria? you sure it's not simply
*****-envy?
      big feet, big hands story,
   piece of ****?
    dunno, sparrow cute, ease to fit in your mouth,
although large enough to give
a ******* an ******?
what's that?
    i know of beard envy, but after my late 20s
i stopped,
        why do i keep it? just got bored of shaving,
i'm being told that i need a gardener to sheer
off excesses of *****-texture ****** hair...
i just can't believe they limit the orthodoxy on
the matter...
dysphoria resembles a dissatisfaction with life
in general, it doesn't exactly resemble
the inclusiveness of the "debate" being fathomable
in a gender-orientated universe.

+1 / A-plus for the intro,
which is completely unfathomable to me...
what about dys-phrenia? the noun
doesn't exist, but it doesn't matter whether
i flip the coin or whether i take the "gamble"
seriously...
        
you know that bell's whiskey is on sale,
16 quid's worth of a litre?
    **** fine, i'm going to have luck the next
few nights...

  what was i thinking of the past 30 minutes?
ah... the ******* son of ח‎ (chet) -
revised / "improved" from hebrew,
into greek, namely into π (pi) -
      a transformation that occurred
exchanging the third-party source
of the vowel, i.e. hebrew *tzeré
,
that became the "greek" chirek / omicron,
given the absurdity of the homosexuality
of letters in hebrew being evident,
while the four remaining vowels remaining
in a "niqab"... what?
   א‎ (alef) & his homosexual lover,
the ע‎ (ayin) -
     **** as hell, bruno's nodding on that point...
might as well hide the consonants
to explore the vowels...
  heavy breathing during ***,
and the "onomatopoeia" during ******...
only in hebraic do two vowels,
that are both A, exist as worthy of a consonant
status... no wonder:
look at the summary in symbol...
  ∀ and A... move the middle part a bit down
and expand it to resemble a Δ (delta)...
what do you get? the star of david...
the universal quantifier (∀), or ע (ayin)
coupled with the particular qualifier of (A) or א (alef)...
to me, the jews provided humanity
with the perfect symmetry...
      can't help but being a judeo-philiac...
then comes the latter investigation...
a meeting of the east & the east, in the west,
namely jewish chiromancy, and japanese sūdokú...

   shin-heh-yod-heh-vav
      ש‎     ה‎      י‎      ה‎     ו‎

the puzzle ends with a variant of a chiromancy,
namely?
  
    this is how a puzzle finishes, with a desire
to invoke the pentagram, i.e.:

9 6 5 2 8 7 4 3 1
4 2 1 3 5 9 7 6 8
7 8 3 1 4 6 5 2 9
3 7 2 6 1 5 8 9 4
6 9 4 7 3 8 1 5 2
5 1 8 4 9 2 6 7 3
1 4 9 ? ? 3 2 8 ?
2 3 6 ? ? 1 9 4 ?
8 5 7 9 2 4 3 1 6

and the question marks?
hence the chiromancy...

thumb: 9
                \
                  9 - 8 - י‎ (yod)

index: 1
              \
                1 (ה = 5 - heh)

middle: 2
                 \
                   2 (ו‎ = 7 - vav) - 6 - ש

ring: 4
           \
             4 (ש = 6 - shin)

pinky: 3
               \
                  3 (י = 8).

    6 + 5 + 8 + 5 + 7 = 31...

        what's beside the point...
            i simply believe in the revision
of gematria... in order that the jews might
move away from the genesis
of this grammatoclasm:
akin to copyright laws regarding words
such as pepsi, or coca-cola...
        
i believe in meditation projects,
  but i don't think this can be achieved
through linear arithmetic "manipulation"
of words...
  i give you the arithmetic of the numbers
4, 5, 6... with respect to the letters to meditate on...
and only, only, on the japanese canvas of
a sūdokú.
Joshua Levesque Sep 2021
I’m pressing, pushing paranoia
away
as I lie in my ocean of bed.
And I lie (in my ocean of bed) when I
say
“I’m a warrior.”
I’m a worrier, a bundle of contradictions,
a language-lover who will never be able to speak my mind, my
split + mind.
(****** + phrenia)

Sentences slip through like a sea through a sieve.
Language was not invented or
intended for
my babbling brain, bursting
with deathly images,
lacking in logic.
Pressing, pushing paranoia knocks on my mind’s door,

I’m away.

— The End —