As the power flicks in and out
I'm terrified,
not about the power but about what I see it as,
I see it as us
one moment it so clear, its so perfect, nothing is wrong,
and in the next second the power is out and isn't promised to turn back on,
and even if it does turn back on you remember for a time,
paranoid predicting when and if it will happen again.
Because nothing works when the power is out,
you are helpless,
lit by candles that provide no warmth,
When the power goes out I can't help but think of us,
no matter how small the fight was it still remains,
not for sure if we can fix it,
and when we do we will find something else to bicker about,
until our flame goes out completely and we are left trying to light up the world with a match.

I wish I could stop all theparanoid  thoughts.  Feel unsafe                              
in this world.                           Feel like                                I have to                      watch my                      back when                     I'm away                    
from home.
Feel like eyes are staring watching my every move               every time                                    
I walk into an room.                                  I feel other people can hear me, I can hear them too but this is not always when people are actually talking to me. I can hear  laughter and sometimes  horrible comments.                         With my logic I know this isn't  real. It can feel very real to me but this is all really just the fear beating me in the head again. I feel an constant dread  that something dangerous or sinister is lurking around me. I wish it would all just go away leave me alone and let me live my life in peace with my daughter. This uncomfortable feeling follows me around every where. I have to stop myself and have a good stare to make sure what I'm really seeing is the truth and not just another lie or form of deceit.