And I continue to read the rules and regualtions
and as I do fish are flicking their tails inside my stomach
letting the acid drip off the walls.

How the laws of a change of perspective
sound so eloquent and intellectual -

and how their glasses
reflect the sunlight and seem
so ill-positioned here

so out of purpose -
though in line -
and out of use already

Close
your folders
your handbooks of modules and rules
put aside your cups of linguistic wisdom

Release
the trees from your far-reaching longsightedness
pull off the net:

Confess
that you are
as clever as we feel you were from the

beginning.

*And with a feeble smile I turned around
and looked at them
and said:

"If you don't get this now-
                       I rest my case"

How many haunted handbooks
Will I have to read
Before I shake you ghost,
And convince it all to leave?
When will the food I eat
Ever settle in my body?
How can I learn to trust
When I am set on self-destruct?

Read this carefully
Look me up and down
Maybe you will see
Another human being

If I tried to count the times
The thought of you has crossed my mind
And how this shouldn't be
And why you've chosen me

Well tonight I grip my knees
As they're pressed tight against my chest
And I am left to feel alone
But can't go through with it
Tonight I beg and plead
Only to be free
To go back to the life I had
Why does my soul feel so bad?

One more day then one more week
Then why were you thinking you would ever want to leave
Even though it all settles to uneasy
Don't make this your eternity

I'll never learn to love
I'll never learn to trust
Read this carefully
This letter is set
To self-destruct

I am a beginning and I am an end
I am a stream of consciousness and
I am my own lack of surprise
Manifested into a walking horrorshow wondering
where it went wrong.
Watching the birdwatchers checking for watches
They know no time with enough patience to share
Little smiles of knowing more than you
The ones who found what they were looking for
in the trees and canopies and little handbooks and scientific names
Flightless birds waiting to be classified

my mouth is wrapped in the tape of social conduct
my hands cuffed in handbooks and rules

I'm standing on this balcony teetering on social suicide and endless solitude
Running away into my pen and paper because it's the only one who can listen

Numbers and phrases you paste on my forehead like a bandaid, your words hold weight but not to the strongmen
Im on my hands and knees screaming myself raw and the clueless raise a glass and tell another joke

The castle I've built in your arms is tumbling down I'm under siege from my allies
It's a slow death being inches from your legacy and thousands of miles away in your sacred heart

The gleam of the skyscraper is like sunlight on
a pond glimpsed through trees or a free
and joyous river

I am thirsty, yet I have no desire to drink. The well
is poisoned.

The towering architecture opens to the marvels of modernity; their shining windows reveal
the revered throne rooms of CEOs, and workers tapping away
an army of ants to ensure order, according to their rules
and handbooks but above all
by uncertain individuals watching those around them.

And the violence of their tapping keyboards and polite emails
and the penthouses to which they aspire
the life of a bank throbbing
through the steel skeleton of a building that is larger than life,
larger than
those left to die
      trying to get some sleep in the streets
      kicked in the ribs by police
      a different kind of life haunts their heartbeats.

The city has swallowed its own streets and sidewalks
and spits out skeletons
bones dry from its desperate extraction
****** to dust to coat that shining cityskape, the sweat and blood drained from pores to make the steel and the glass
drips away slowly, revealing only dust.

The well is poisoned -
I am dying of thirst -
I wonder which death
will be less painful

You think words can’t hurt
Or reign down from the skies
I’ve red little handbooks
That say otherwise
I got history’s vengeance
Packed mean at my side
Cruisin’ free like Zheng He
In that Normandy Tide
Got these war orchestrators
Class consciously mute
Guess these urban invaders
Can’t handle Pan’s flute
In the jungle you feel it
I’m stalking my prey
Scalpin’ tix of head-shavers
From **** CIA
‘Cuz I spy with my eye
A bomb-dropping peace keeper
And wake up the crowd
Like a Soviet sleeper

Look out the window and tell me what you see
The world Is not that great of a place to be in right now
People blindly trust the disbeliever and bash the one who always had his heart in the right place and thought of everyone else but himself
Education is still very important but kind of overrated
the things that should be taught in school are so much bigger then just a bunch of text books and handbooks that can be printed and bought from a store
Exams set you up for so much more then failure
People care but only about themselves
Fake friends have become more common that fake nails
It is cheaper to live off and mimic peoples ideas and innovations then to think own your own
people are too lazy to do that as well
Apple everything and robots do it for us now
It is easier to break things and watch them turn to dust then to rebuild and prosper
Words are have lost their meanings too
Reading is a luxury but emojis and abbreviations are a must
People will think I am crazy for writing this but it doesn't take an person with a Phd or plain old street smarts to figure out that we are all doomed
The world is truly going to ****