I should've guessed
by the nondescript response
teenagers glazed
by 'proper' use of language;
'old-speak' as some would see it
yet to be blessed by a words prowess
fazed by more than 1 syllable
seems inconceivable
and yet text-speak sits,
or rather, should be, languish,
as a hybrid of our languages
prompts me to write this
out of plain literary anguish.

each year on birthdays
write a small poem or limerick
the momentary excitement of opening the card
is lapsed by reason
(it does not contain a £20 note)
the thought bubble denotes
they express some disdain
the speech bubble that follows
the spark in the brain
just another of Uncles gimmicks
lacking the imagination to invoke
something more personal
than a hardback book:
another 200 recipes
for the aspiring young cook

they implied they enjoyed lunchtimes at school
instead wanted an iPad or something
equally expensive and cool

So I try to embrace it
this thing they call urban
write something poetic in text-speak
the very premise of it
is somewhat disturbing
the infinite curve of learning
LOLs from actual LOLS;
the mobile language equivalent
of online voyeurs,
the posters of nonsense,
noobs and trolls

apparently a ROFL
is more-or-less as potent as ****
I scratch my head in wonder
text-speak is used by millions
to converse on a global scale
some how

Q: does SUM exist
(as in 'shut ur mouth' )
is that acceptable?

A: not yet cordially invited on the list
(its an actual word
doesn't count as an acronym)
Im told

the coal face of the lexicon:
indigestible
the steep learning curve:
unpredictable

by your 30s its automatically
re-classified:
Congratulations
You are now officially 'Old'

we are merely wordsmith pedestrians
lost in the tide of text-speak equestrians
jumping and leaping and rolling in SETE and S2R's
are we binned as an S4L, the Spam For Life?
(perhaps I haven't got that abbreviation quite right)

in the context of text-speak
they are suitably troll-like in their essence
forgive me dear teenager
I am but a
SNAG in your presence:

'Sensitive'
(on occasion)
'New
Age' and
'Grown-up'
(given the right persuasion)

the riposte would be SUYF!!
('Shut Up You Fool' - said like MR. T in A-Team)
STM and Spank The Monkey
apologise, SOZ, SRY and Apls
or something equally short,
snappy and funky

at this juncture
before the brain has a puncture
simply BBFN, lest I
BBS or BBIAB or BBIAF
[thankfully this isn't a test]

like WCA
(Who Cares Anyway)
but you'd remark WAI
(and thats I for Idiot)
let out a long distance sigh
wave the imaginary fist
at the youth of yesteryear

all you'd get back was
Wicked Evil Grin
(WEG) for a
Wild *** Guess
(WAG);
a WEG for a WAG
and a PDQ x 2

would be the sum parts of the conversation
between me and you

if language and words and meaning was lost
if acronyms and abbrieviations
in CAPS
was all that there was

*** smeared in ***
with APLS for the PMJI
TXT SPK has got me PML
when MHBFY and
M8s on a MOB crusade
AWOL and dizzy for the next API
MGB for your MF device
throw in some GALGAL logic
where GIGO will simply suffice
Warning: PAW and GJIAGDV
(where the latter is Volcano)
include your GF for some cuddly GBH
and some GHP if she says so

its T2Go
be positive with the T+
and all of that Text-Speak CUZ
I'll T2UL and T for your time,
I'll TAH on the whole TBC

next year i'll just slip in a £20 note
and simply write:
Happy Birthday
with LV
from me

Electorate now educated by
and through the auspices of internet,
decisions carrying a world of weight
are swayed by Facebook posts. Small wonder why
the grins and gigged brains voted into power
don't need to think about vox populi;
anonymous vox dei spins the lies
into their pseudo-truth six times an hour.
What passes now for discourse or debate
are statuses, conflicting rumors checked
unscrupulously for what shreds of fact
they may contain. God help the candidate
who actually has a plan to put in play;
the way that can be spoken's not the way.

wouldn't it be nice
if you see what I mean
if the powers that be
saw fit to agree
which may evolve
into
yet another ****** acronym
O! MY God!
What the Hell!
Garbage in, garbage out.
WIBN
IYSWIM
TPTB
*saw fit to agree
which may evolve
into
YABA
***
WTH
GIGO

wouldn't it be nice
if you see what I mean
if the powers that be
saw fit to agree
which may evolve
into
yet another ****** acronym
O! MY God!
What the Hell!
Garbage in, garbage out.
WIBN
IYSWIM
TPTB
saw fit to agree
which may evolve
into
YABA
***
WTH
GIGO

Any one hidden once may
be shown. Whole/parts
Any one
Any thing e may signify. A dot, a jot, a little tic
to the smooth tight stretched string remnant

of a once noble and good idea, with all the best
sci-entious knowers of numerical ways and means
of propagating an aspect of realty

we need to know. we do, we must know, we feel it

courios. curio. imp-ul-pel, **** and blow, inexorable

pop the foolish thought. why, would I?
ah, gigo go go take out the trash

but it's real, it can't be
worthless. Being
real is the absolute most worth in any ever imagined.
Even hell.

Yeh.
Wanna go there?
Wanna ride?

Step inside my mind, the liars used then said,
we yoosta say,
read'em 'n'weep… sweep sweep

sweep m'chimbly fuerboy, while I sort through the ash,
pshawt sawt
into central London feels surreal every time things fall off from the everyday
in the vicinity
of Bow, Stratford and Mile End
Mateuš Conrad

From <https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4313339/comment/>

in a flash
s'jew see that, the light house danced, a little.

-- Evvy Pax, my grandson finale, thinks

Pokémon! Those are everywhere, sending messages,
with seeming uncertain sounds,
something like

help, we've fallen, and we can't get up.

Call to Emergency Locators: SHOW THE WORLD
PEACE OF MIND, WHENEVER YOU ARE AWAY,

let emergency locaters know and we notify you,
after we call the authorized property protectors.

------ that was 1991, on Texas Street
------ four years prior to the Fred Pryor Internet in a Day
the resumé of a myth,
cliché  resumes… this is that mythic stage, plain, flatout

one being
a while
alone
time……
Only
Bums and truly rich beings who live to tend fires in minds
enduring auto-de-fe
resting from tirades tuned to deaf ears determined
to serve com-plete, full to

the limit of the fire's reign, gno se? Fuerverge,

the character first to reveal the valour in the name

Keeper of the sharpest stick,
the stick that did not burn, but stirred morning fires.

Arize, cousins, sing in the son with the birds and lizards.

Hoo Hoo who RAH YA 'LL AI AI AI served you, see
De - as in
complete (adj.)
late 14c., "having no deficiency, wanting no part or element; perfect in kind or quality; finished, ended, concluded," from Old French complet "full," or directly from Latin completus, past participle of complere "to fill up, complete the number of (a legion, etc.)," transferred to "fulfill, finish (a task)," from com-, here probably as an intensive prefix (see com-), + plere "to fill" (from PIE root *pele- (1) "to fill").

From <https://www.etymonline.com/search?q=complete>

In this end, we get what we made life worth getting.

Sound crazy. All way at once. Con vergence sense.

that, in a nutshell,

the debaters think my brain does not contain me,

they assume ai ai ai am imagined by a non verbal brain,

with no reason, come on,
really,
they have degrees in chosen fields that prove fate.

Sci used right, they think the comptroller in my gut,
has no means of intending to empower me

with whatever I feed it, to the best of my ability,

gigo. gogo got it fectul effing affection, love it. So simple.

sponsor my responsibility with a moral from a story

choose the good, flush the evil. Flushing being a process

our bodies seem to know how to perform.

exercise in godliness,
imagine you are the good god who holds evil knowns

in idle never functional states for steering out of bumps,

moguls, ah, I know how this works,

--- stuka's siren, fear, fear fear death, fear destruction

Not here.
--- the sound, we can hear it if we ever heard it,
--- remember the sirens in Anne Frank's diary?

--- wah waah wah waah wah waah

linkup:
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/2864102/on-the-battle-field-after-all/

been and done, son. This
current situation has been history, scientifically, for

a while, cosmostication time wise, which does this trick,
stretch truth so thin,

you can begin to make something,

out of next. Cool, right? Good genug for governin' werxs?

Leave us went, the future is bright and, we have a sunset scheduled
in Pine Valley.

my meme replacement therapy
is going quite well Dr. Nil just told me
because I can't handle everything thrown at me
everything is a lot and GIGO to boot
the fibrous growth in my ear
said that the future signals us in some way
maybe coded glances wink wink
but we're not sure of the spelling
a real spectacle of setbacks
a bleeding archaeological phantom
engineered to manipulate
moving my pen in gleeful jerks
with a genteel appetite for mayhem
which is why I am now sharing
the secret of life with you
ready
mind is derivative
well that's it
looks like I've blown my cover
if this sounds like propaganda then it is
now to get on to the meatier part
first a matter of indexing
last a matter of indexing
buzzards circle my guardian bottle of muscatel
and a couple of robins too
a tempestuous tune in a teapot
from follow the bouncing ball
to Rocky Horror Show
occult syntax as a 2nd language
and that was the last surface
his wiggly digits ever palpated
because the sages lie through their teeth
but have good circulation and a ruddy face
with long lists of abjurations as usual
one of them spoke just now
sending me in to negotiate
because I have a snake pit for a soul
on further reflection it turns out
I have many souls
most of them severe critics
several are wind up toys
academic or practical you decide
existence is both diagrammatic
and ready to throw a punch
in an ancient tangle of inconsequentials
well perplexity is the root of all humor
how is it that some ideas
are interpreted by other ideas for example
but whatever you end up doing
we know too much
to be stupid any longer

From "Pageant of Naked Mischief" available on Amazon