"fukkin" poems
Not ego
We go
Let go
He flow
Bestow
Hes a muh ****** beast doe!!
Ive never been anything more then what my Father has made me to be be I may have been sane but briefly cause God man is just "crazy" (the way that He Loves me.)
...
Sswwwooooo!
I AM THE FORE-RUNNER FOR UNDER-GUNNERS WHO SHOOT FOR THE STOMACH PUMPIN HUMPIN THE DURT
YOUR NASTY MIND IS SUCH A PERVERSE
PERVASIVE PILE, HOLD ON ILL LET THAT LAST ONE JUST SINK IN A LITTLE WHILE.
SATANS CRAMPIN' MY STYLE. TRIED DIGESTING THE BIAL BUT I NEED A VITAL
SIGN HIS TITLES BLIND BUT MINE IS THRU THE VINE OK JUST ONE MORE LINE
MERRY CHRISTMAS
FROM MY HEARTS OWN MIND
Dec 24, 2015
Dec 24, 2015 at 12:15 AM UTC
It's not enough to complain
It's not enough to feel shame
It's not enough to give up after
U fail. It's not enough to go blame
The neighborhood u grew in
Or the ppl u were around
No excuse is enough to justify
So u can just deny knowing how
To succeed and exceed what u
perceive in your dreams
It's not enough to just proceed if u
bleed for what u believe by all means
It's not enough to try, give up and Cry
while u surrender and accept this
Cuz hardheaded and stubborn
when positive, is called relentless
So address this where your address is
and if u find no way
There's a huge world out there,
so learn while u search and maybe one day
Ill see u on the other side
Where no one ******* or complains
Where no one is slowed by
Failure or fear cuz they're driven by pain
Where u don't even need a brain
Just passion and will
Cause if your still ****** breathing
Than be believing u have a chance still
And I write this not only to ****
The doubt that poisons ur mind
But while stressin im confessin
Ill admit this is to **** mine
Cuz we all get weak at times
Where we actually consider
birthing a child of regret while bitter
And becoming its full time babysitter
Conceived with life thatll ***** you
Without any protection
And even those who oppose abortion
Would see this as the exception
Just make sure u never let them
C- section your heart
Keep fighting back, cuz keeping Faith
when life falls apart is nothing short of an art
It can be beautiful but dark
It can be abstract and expensive
And remember stubborn and hard headed
when positive is called relentless
Jan 10, 2015
Jan 10, 2015 at 11:06 PM UTC
It's not enough to complain
It's not enough to feel shame
It's not enough to give up after
U fail. It's not enough to go blame
The neighborhood u grew in
Or the ppl u were around
No excuse is enough to justify
So u can just deny knowing how
so if you need to work
3 jobs, while u scratch and claw
your way to whatever dream thay lay
awaiting you to sink teeth and lock ur jaw
break your enemy and the law
create a strength with ur flaw
like having deadly aids and using it
to **** ur enemy by sleeping with his wife or dog
whatever it takes do the job
be stubborn and never listen
to the dreamkilling dream-penis blockers
who want u to fail so u can be kissin
the same *** they kiss, dont miss ur chance
dont over think
take what u want like bill cosby does after
making a woman a drink
cuz To succeed and exceed what u perceive
in your dreams, and become
a man than if u have to bleed for what u believe
then by all means cuz success ends
when your sacrifices do, so dont give up and
Cry while u surrender if not, pains expected
be hardheaded and stubborn cause its a positive,
thing in this case but differently name as relentless
So address this where your address is
and if u find no way theres a huge world
out there, so keep learning and maybe one day
Ill see u on the other side
Where no one ******* or complains
Where no one is slowed by
Failure or fear cuz they're all driven by pain
Where u don't even need a brain
Just passion and will
Cause if your still ****** breathing
Than be believing u have a chance still
And I write this not only to ****
The doubt that poisons ur mind
But while stressin im confessin
Ill admit this is also to **** mine
Cuz we all get weak at times
Where we actually consider
birthing a child of regret while bitter
And become its new mom, no babysitter
Conceived with life who will *** u
Without any protection
And even those who oppose abortion
Would see this as the exception
Just make sure u never let them
C- section out your heart
Keep fighting back, cuz kept Faith when life falls apart
is nothing short of an art
It can be beautiful but dark
It can abstract and expensive
And remember stubborn and hard headed when positive
is called relentless
May 23, 2015
May 23, 2015 at 11:14 PM UTC
They thought the world was flat
And no one could say different
But what they " knew " turned out
Wrong so they actually didn't,
And I use this as a catalyst til
I question everything annoyed
Until I question my own sanity
Realizing I now look paranoid
But I know I'm not insane,
But taking into account
What I have already said than
I may belong locked up in a nut house
So now I find I question myself
Full of doubt until at last
I don't trust any decision i make
Based on Facts that may not b facts
Obsessed with knowing wut I lack
Which is everything I assume
Maybe I belong in a padded room
That I wont believe is a padded room
Leaving me frustrated and confused
And the only conclusion now left
Is everything is not what it is or
everything is wut it is to some effect
Unless its not, cuz then it's not
But then again maybe it is
So my parents get mad when I ask
if I'm adopted and go blood test my kid
Thinking all Facebook is
Is a social network but what if
It was designed to be addictive and
harmless just to keep us on the grid
What if the chicken ***** really is
Made out of cats and kittens
So u think eating a cat is nasty
when maybe they r ****** delicious
But I would think it was chicken
So ill never know what I know
How can u know what u don't know
If u don't know what u know
Maybe a turtles so fast it's slow
Maybe ****** was a saint
Could u argue its not possible after
Seeing This whole picture I paint
And no I'm not saying history books
Are wrong, at least not tonight
I'm just saying my minds playing games
so may not believe its all right
And now I see why I just might
Be happy ignorant for the bliss
So my new goal is too try my hardest
to be ignorant as ****
Which some may say I already
Am, as to them that's what I show
But remember before u say I am
U better ****** question wut u know!
Sep 13, 2014
Sep 13, 2014 at 6:43 PM UTC
How do I start...?
This is hard for me...
I probably will only generalize from fear of being ostracized,....
Actually that's a ****** lie too...
not even sure wut I want to say,
Sometimes wut I really wanna say gets polluted by being convoluted cuz it's secondary and secluded
by trying to sound poetic, or smart
then the rest just gets... Included....
I'm not even sure of myself...
My ability....
My limits...
I might even say i find security in insecurity,
Jailed without bail by my emotions and I can't find assurity
Assuring me
a stay on the green mile where I sit, green with envy...
Envious of even ppl I love...
Almost hoping they fail so I'm not alone.....
how truly sick is that?
How could u ever call urself a decent person after thinking that????
And after i drown and drench this depression in drinks
Then dry it off with drugs...
It only gets moist again by the inevitable stream of tears
And u can only let urself down so many ****** times before u can't lie to urself anymore to feel like
..u haven't let everyone else down
And my friends and family can only say ..."I love u"so many times b4 they realize that I don't believe it....
Cuz how can they love me when I don't???
And I'm way past a cry for help
So it's not sympathy,
I don't need it
I have been blessed until now with the most beautiful things life has...
And maybe losing those things has fukked me up....
how do I start....
Ha...
how do I finish....
When I haven't even said anything worth reading....
I use to think I was a writer...
Now I question if I can even do that anymore...
I feel hopelessly dead inside,
and I love my son,
but I can't help feeling trapped, in a sea of failure,
I can't help hating my weak will,
My bad habits,
My lack of motivation
My physical appearance,
My physical appearance
My laziness
And who I've become, when who I was.....
Was so much better.....
My night terrors haunt me...
I miss ppl I shouldn't
I'm jealous of ppl I shouldn't be...
I idolize my godmother for her strength to commit suicide:...
I am everything I use to hate in
others....
I could go on forever
but I'm sick of hearing myself think in silence
Even the voices in my head annoys the **** out of me, and make me sick til I tell myself to shut up....
How do I end this...
.... From judgement of a talented literary point of view...
I can't end it....
Cause...
I never really started....
Cuz when it is your monkey,
And it is your circus...
It's depressskng feeling worthless
When even a clowns have a purpose
.....which is more than me
May 18, 2015
May 18, 2015 at 2:00 AM UTC
lately i feel like
your all i really got
but like everyone else i love
im the only one who talks
absent with the congregation
cant be selfish today
so i try not to bother you
with all i wont say
stomaches full of nerves
that make me feel i rot
so nervously i sweat when im
not even hot
every tear has a story
as well as salt that packs
in my tears, no wonder i
reflect so much fat
all i wants to be humble
and get my love returned
instead like the dead my hearts
needing an urn
wheres investments return
dont wanna go through this
wheres jesus christ, let him know i
have now found judas
sometimes i feel ***** this"
"that, him and her"
innocence is extinct in ones i
felt were so pure
so infered is the absurd uncured
desease that plagues me
i now understand how my
enemies passionately hate me
cause lately i hate me
so greatly as well
cant threaten me with the devil, im already
used to this hell
everyones **** ****** smells
mine and all of yours
snow white was trying to tell me
most woman are ******
in drawers of seven dwarfs
who no wonders either sleepy
***** or grumpy when will
i get a break or freebie
dark shadows pass so creepy
most people are deceitful and greedy
i swear i can almost feel
my soul wants to leave me
just like everyone leaving
loyaltys not a common relic
no wonder all we feel is so
uncalming and jealous
why cant i find strength embelished
prior used to front
but i rather be killed then *******
heartlessly hunt
and maybe thats why before you
i kneel and cry
asking for the mercy of death
i see such peace in the eye
of the one you will cry
for if they die but roughly
im jealous at funerals wondering
why im not so lucky
so in the name of the father
son and holy spirit
i pray if i dont see death today
that im hopefully near it
.....amen
Sep 13, 2014
Sep 13, 2014 at 11:40 PM UTC
There were nights I held our son
And just cried,
As he too cried
it felt like u had died .
Like the love we had was a lie
But we gotta move on and try
Cuz u never died
U were a deadbeat alive
But I guess u didn't feel like
Growing up just yet
Even though we spent years
Getting high having multiple partners for ***
But it all turns to regret
If it wasn't part of growing
Into 2 responsible
People or wut is there really showing
That we evolved from who we are
inTo who were destined to be
It was fine to be immature when
It was just us two but now that 2 is 3
Its like u resent him and me
like we ruined all your fun
But it doesn't matter who pulls the
Trigger when u helped invent the gun
So now u leave 2 scared men
Or ....2scared boys to cry
Like a mother and lover died
i hardly remember a goodbye
our son has ur eyes
So His eyes r urs
So it hurts to look at him some
Days but he's still adored
i won't walk out the door
And leave him to cry
Like u did to him
Or like u did to me and why
p*ss not important to an orphan
hoarding pain
But according to wut u tell my
Sister u stay away
Cuz I beg u to stay
And guilt trip u too long
But all I want is for our son
To see his ****** mom
You've never seen him Crawl
but he doesn't crawl no more
Now he walks like u walked
when you walked out our door
He's got about 7 teeth and
He dances to every song
And another piece of my heart
Breaks when he calls the wrong woman "mom"
Which he does alot lately
But as this all leaves my mouth
I want u to know that I don't
Just blame u I also blame myself
For not being enough to make
U stay...... and this is all
The reasons ur phone rings when
U ignore my calls
So I take as many photographs
As I can cuz one day i figure
When u regret not seeing your son grow up
I can always give u some ****** pictures.....
Sep 13, 2014
Sep 13, 2014 at 6:11 PM UTC
A child is not a pay cheque
A child is not a weapon
A child is not a priority
You can push down to second
A child is not a bargaining
Tool, a hassle or a pain
A child did not ask to be here
So Plz use ur ****** Brain
A child is not the person
U hate that u made them with
A child is not the one who needs
An excuse to be child-ish
A child is not a doll
A child is not to be resented
A child is not ur second chance
To live through, that's demented
A child is not to blame
A child is not a bother
A child is not to be without
Either it's mother or father!!!!!!
Sep 13, 2014
Sep 13, 2014 at 11:29 PM UTC
Don’t try to fit in,
in fact, try to be more odd
If you don’t see bereavements
as achievements
it’s your view that’s flawed
which explains why I see motivation where you see peasants
Why you see failure not experience,
Or a curse where I see a present
It’s all in attitude, your approach
how you perceive progression
You see scars, I see trophies, you see mistakes I see lessons,
You say life’s hell, I see heaven
They say reality is perception
that’s why Wasted time and money
look identical to a good investment
So when I see hard work pay off
You’ll just see it as luck and scoff
which I see as inspiration for you
but all you see is a loss
all you see is where you are, so where you could be is robbed
But if you can’t see achievement in bereavements it’s your view thats flawed
if you can’t see trophies not scars
Or lessons and not mistakes
then you’ll never get why I see u ****** yourself, where u swear your bein raped
Mar 10, 2018
Mar 10, 2018 at 2:24 AM UTC
I can't believe ur gone I'll
Always mourn the loss
I don't know where u are
Some things can't be washed
A lesson learned in loss
Now only one remains
So my eyes are clouds
Bringing the rain
Can't believe ur gone
I try to stay strong
I know I left u but I came
Back and I can't find u so our bond
Breaks like my heartaches
I'm trying to deal with the loss
only one came out of the wash
They were my favorite ****** socks
I'm shocked, I'm distraught
How do I always lose the brother
In a pair of socks so sadly in
Horror I must throw out the other
And when I do I'm so blue
Two days later when ur found
Left again with one sock so I cry
As my knees hit the ground
Screaming at the sky
Why god why?
Now I gotta throw away the
Second sock as I frantically cry
Sep 13, 2014
Sep 13, 2014 at 11:25 PM UTC
She said"am I dying?"
As lots of blood departed
So much blood Moses would
Mistakenly try to part it
And since her screams started
In fear and confusion
I've been panicked its satanic
The imagery it's producing
And all she kept asking me
Why this is happening to her
And the pain made her cranky
And I just wasn't sure
What to say or what to do
"I'm only looking after u
Whille ur parents are gone
I'm just as ****** scared as u"
Then she asked for me to look
At it and see just how bad
It is and even though I said no
She persisted and then her dad
And mom came home to
See me and their daughter
****** and frantic, and that's
When her father
Asked me to stop examing
His daughter so well
As her pants were off and in
The panic I could hardly tell
Even though she's clearly
Bottomless but was distracted by fear
Since that day I can no longer
Watch horror films and it's been years
And when I run into her she acts
Like it was no big deal
But her screams and squeals
Still makes my stomach feel
So Uneasy that I get queezy
When my steaks medium rare
Knowing the meats been marinating
In its own blood and I swear
I literally have flashbacks
Start to sweat, I even gag
I hope I'm never around again the
a 12yr old comes on her first rag
May 23, 2015
May 23, 2015 at 11:39 PM UTC