Laying here alone in my bed,
writing angsty teen poetry in my head
Because my words are generally misunderstood
and i want to spread,
a positive message
but i think i'm missing something

Now I open my individuality to the world
by writing interchangable verses
left open to interpretation
trying to impress her with my vague themes,
quick wit, and fasination with things
most would find less than semi-interesting

and so what if my self-confidence is tattered,
or if I only have an average sized ego,
contrary to what I'll tell other people

and even if it never makes any difference,
or if I never realize my potential
My chances with women with steadily decline
until I'm rendered undateable
I'll continue to seek solace in drugs
because I've never been partial to things like girls
and the act of reproduction

I embrace inadequacy

Its all the rage;
I'm the ******* cliche

And I lack social grace

All aboard the bandwaggon,
Because all my friends and I
have the same hair
and general outlook on life

Some people have real problems and some have lives,
I don't think I fit into either of those percentages

I'm bound to live without meaning
for the rest of my days
because I've ****** up everything
I've ever felt meant anything

you can see it in my face,
behind this facade I put on
Smile :)

She believed in magic
that rainbows lead to gold and leprechauns
that santa came to her on Christmas eve
the tooth fairy traded her money for her teeth
the Easter bunny left the eggs
that Jack Frost would come nipping at her nose.
She believed in everything.
She brought spirit to the world.

Then she got older
she no longer believes in magic
its just a trick of the eye
she's followed a rainbow and found disappointment.
there was no gold, no leprechaun.
Her faith in santa dissipated
he’s just imaginary.
She’s lost all her baby teeth
the fairy stopped coming long before that.
Easter is just another day to live
the eggs were no longer hidden they were all gone.
Jack Frost has lost his significance
she welcomes his frosty touch.

As she got older reality slammed into her
all the things that brought her joy as a child were gone

They died with him.

Her father.

When he disappeared from the world so did the magic
The Leprechauns lost all their gold
North and his elves all froze in the Pole
Toothiana lost her fasination with teeth
Bunnymunds eggs all cracked
but,

Jack Frost still lingers
Coming around every winter
leaving the roads icy and the trees dead.
During the first snow she always remembers his warning
“Bundle up or Jack Frost will come to get you.”
She now embraces the chill of Jack Frost.
He brings the numbness she so craves and can only get during the winter.
He brings the cold that freezes everything inside her.
He brings her closer to him with every snow and cold breeze.

He brings her closer.

How do you exist in such a world where you're called a monster, budding serial killer, anything to resist the thought to **** while i close my eyes and when i open them everyone is dead, only silence then the reality breaks and that high of one day a bad idea i do it again, chopping and cutting hearing the screams its making me want it more and more, the system is protecting themselves thats why they shouldn't have let me out, the imagine of torture always crosses my mind, how should i do it, break every finger, one by one, cut your tongue off every inch till you say bye, cut you open and find your heart just to show you, squeeze it after every second it beats, it won't defeat the purpose that you're still living then eat it so we are one, to bad that i hate, the whole human race is a disgrace, stay where you are, you know i'm to dangerous now that people want me dead, empty threats, they scare and try to infect the people that judge, you're in fear stop the tears i'll strangle you with barbwire just to get off and the blood sprays, listen to these words as the world will never know someone in despair.

How do you write love?
LOVE
id say like that.
or perhaps its when a little brother grows older
and he still lets you call him little brother
as he stands, stature climbing over yours

or perhaps its in a little sisters
toothless grin,or dimpled chin
and silly giggles and sleepy eyes

of perhaps in a lovers promise
always and forever
kissing, hugging, snuggling
perhaps

maybe in a mothers arms
in her will, in her charm
found amoung her asperations
in place of a new found fasination
a babies cry
or maybe writing love, says it all
L-O-V-E
or maybe thats how you write love
mybe just letters with emplied meaning, or all the above

And yet my page goes blank...Full of A lil bit of nothing and a whole lot of space...Which has turned in to a lot...of white..or blue, red, beige, or black
What ever color the paper is...Emptiness...The beginning stages of depressions...the first wave of creative supression...but then eletric sparks..light waves of electrons flowing from my left lobe to my right hand....From my ego to my id...Reaction...satisfaction...Then ink, lead, chalk, what ever I can grab hold of...blood...I would stain this space with blood...for these words will forever be a piece of me...Forever be the life of me....The death in me...And Words fill up my void..the artisic fasination of a blank page...That has been splattered with musical notes of my rhythm...composer...after composure...chaos...after breath...and then masterpice...Wala the ****** to the story...The finale' to the show...The perfect piece of expression upon the page...And as it is turned...My page goes blank Once again...

thinking of you and i want to *****
i had such a fasination with you
such desperation
i was drunk with your ways
love is blind as they say
but you made me sick
just because you had good ****
it was all just gone to quick

How is it I wonder... could it possibly be
That someone like her would even notice me
Someone so lovely, so kind, and so fair
How could she detect that I'm even there
It's absurd that those captivating eyes could alight
On such a simple man and his ongoing plight
And why should those two luscious orbs ever find
An inkling of fasination with a mortal of my kind
I can't seem to fathom and indeed there is doubt
That a woman so beautiful hasn't yet been asked out
The fact that she's single I simply can't understand
Having witnessed her grace and perfection first hand
I can't reason a reason why such an angel would stay
But every part of me begs God that she won't fly away
A true gift from the Lord and the heavens above
Would be if someday her feelings became love
But for now I stand thankful shes even glanced my direction
And pray daily I'm the one to gain her ultimate affection

Break the water in front of you,
Release who's been true all along,
But you will never see it through my eyes break away from the existance for instance exist in the darkness where you can't declare come repair this mental illness be sincere that i would cut and break the bone to see if you're still breathing, im bleeding with this fasination to deprave the people to see death, why does earth think i'm crazy, they could never know because they don't know ****, keep it that way to my grave, the angel of death creeps, creeps within my evil soul, look i lost control, they can't feel the dark aura about to rip them with scalpels make them bleed till there's a pool, stop being such a tool, your a ***** with actually taste, leave this filthy vile world with no trace l, deface you so we can declare your dead, fade away while the light fades from your eyes.