I am told that I should love my body,
and I should not be ashamed.
BUT the white, conservative men tell me otherwise, making me feel nothing but shame.

When did it become okay for a male's education to be more important than a woman's rights?

When did it become okay to sexualize a woman just because her shirt does not cover her rear end?

This is apparent in the things my teachers have told me.
"Your shirt must be fingertip length when wearing yoga pants," she said.
"Why?"
"Because the males that sit in the class might be too destracted to listen to my lecture."

We are treated like *** toys.
Us girls are used for nothing more than a mans pleasure, so they imply.

This is MY body, and no one else's.
I may do what I please,
and no one should have a problem with it.

I refuse to be sexualized and treated like we are living in the 1920s.
But I must conform and live in fear of my consequences.

**** culture is real,
and school's are promoting it.

What if heaven and hell were real. What would differenciate people from going to heaven or hell? Would it just be beleif. Believe and you're saved? Like if a murderer of a thousand children beleive in the catholic faith, they would be "forgiven"? While someone who saves children's lives everyday, yet doesn't believe in the Catholic faith, gets to spend enternity in hell? Maybe we reincarnate. What do we come back as? Is it even in this universe? Do we each have a soul? Are the animals and things around us the past souls, or even the future? Is that possible? What determines the animal or thing we come back as, is it what we most resembled in our last lifetime. Like an angry person would come back as a badger, and a peaceful person, a dove?

Or what if we simply stop living. We don't see a white light, or go into a dream, or darkness or heaven or hell or anything else. But what If we just stop living. And this is really it. What if what we are doing right now, eating, sleeping, breathing, as time goes on, as we all get older inevitably. This is all we have. There's nothing more than this. THIS IS IT. And it really is simply what we make it. What if there is no place to go when it's "over". This is all we got.

But what do we do? We go on doing what society expects, what others want, the normal. Constantly waiting and wanting what we can't obtain, trying and trying for things not needed. Searching for acceptance we could so easily give if we could just learn. Constantly pressured and watched and judged. Destracted by our surroundings, destracted from what WE are doing ourselves.

Happiness. Is it money? Wealth? Materials? That's what "they" imply. You tell tell me what it is. It's not something you can copy from another person. It's whatever tickles YOUR peach. Whatever makes YOU happy. Why don't people understand this? Our lives really aren't very long. Look at how old the world is, and how it has gone on without you in it, and how it will once again, when you are gone (if that's what you chose to beleive) "you only regret the chances you didn't take". When was the last time you did something for the first time in your life? Why be remeberd as just another ordinary. Or not remembered at all. You have nothing to lose.

The people who are good for you will stay in your life, they will stay with you till the end. The true people will love you till the end. And if things don't go exactly your way, there's nothing you can do about it after it's done. So make the best of it and MOVE ON.If things are out of your control, find the good in it and just try to have some fun. Slow things down if you can. Really stop and smell the roses, take a deep inhale and savor it. How many chances will you have in your life to smell the roses? Who knows? Do what you like in life, if you don't know what exactly you like just yet, try some stuff out. People think there's a path in life we you must take, a life rubric, a guidance. What everyone else does. We don't all need to do the same thing. So surprise some people. Mix it up a bit, life has no rubric, it's a blank canvas you can paint however you want. In fact, you don't even have to paint it. You can cut it up, or fold it like origami or glue buttons to it or sew it into your life quilt. It is Anything you want it to be. ****, eat it, fly it, smoke it, drink it, drive it. Just live it. It's yours. All yours. And No One can take it from you. Listen to Yourself. Be whoever you want to be, Because You Can. No one can stop you but yourself. Why would you stop yourself? Stop stopping yourself, and give the green light to a life worth living.

I have stopped looking for you,
because I know I wont hear you come in,
but I know I'll hear you when you sleep.
And I guess you can say, I am tired.
But I'll never be to tired to love you.
The fear in me, can always be relieved,
and in my heart you'll always be recieved.
I guess you can't be too far away,
when I'm thinking about you all night and day.
I wish you'd stop moving from place to place,
So that maybe you could see my face,
and how sad it is when you go,
even for just a week or so.
I can't stop thinking about work tomorrow,
and now I will try to fill it with anything but sorrow.
But oh, the places you'll go,
and the stories you'll tell.
I always love you no matter the distance,
I'll keep myself destracted,
my hear won't be too fractured.
You have inspired me to adventure, myself,
I will have my fill of own desire,
and when you get back,
I'll be the teller.

(Chorus)
In the love, i was on the 7th sky,
In my own world, but i never try
To listen you,
I've been a deaf, forgot to be true,
Now only regrets remain for not to heard
Her unspoken words
Life be different, we still be together
If i could ever understand her
I've been a deaf, forgot to be true
Now only regrets remain for not to heard
Her unspoken words

(1st verse)
Midnight in the snowy winter
I was about to make a joint filter
Her call was in my brain, when no one in the shelter
A swain guy, a one side lover but deep somewhere
mind refusing him, heart tackling to answer
Losted in her thoughts and ensnared...
I wish i could listen you when you were there
Halfway through the session my mind started wander
Her voice was echoing in the ear, asking if i fear for being alone
Have you ever regret for the things you did wrong?
My heart is not ready yet to accept that you are gone
But somehow i managed to move on, sometime i missed you,
Sleepless night trying to figure out how will i forget,
You broked me babe, i dreamed about our duet
But you don't deserve it, i loved you with all my feelings were in the heart
But you divided it and shattered in two parts.

(Chorus)
In the love, i was on the 7th sky,
In my own world, but i never try
To listen you,
I've been a deaf, forgot to be true,
Now only regrets remain for not to heard
Her unspoken words
Life be different, we still be together
If i could ever understand her
I've been a deaf, forgot to be true
Now only regrets remain for not to heard
Her unspoken words

(2nd verse)
What if i hurted you, were you able to forgive me?
I had a nightmare and bad dreaming
I wish i could hurt you back and break you bad
But my ethics don't allow me to do that
Tell me why you make me sad, you loved me, didn't i loved you back?
I had a wish that your are the one with whom i can spend 9month
Yeah, you heard it right, befor you broke me i was pregnant
You never asked me that, you never feel what i feel
Some serious injuries took time me to heal
I was not your business deal, that look for profit
Now you are alone and its not my fault
I choosed to be happy, i am being with it
Hope you listened me carefully now
How can a broked one have a trust again
I moved on dear, and the new life begined

(Chorus)
In the love, i was on the 7th sky,
In my own world, but i never try
To listen you,
I've been a deaf, forgot to be true,
Now only regrets remain for not to heard
Her unspoken words
Life be different, we still be together
If i could ever understand her
I've been a deaf, forgot to be true
Now only regrets remain for not to heard
Her unspoken words

(hook)
are you faking smile on happy moments sometimes
But only known you are sad deep inside
Why do you always need a guide to provide
A knowledge about a life, can't you decide the way you gonna try
Why? Always depending on other guy?
I had those mistakes, and she said me bye
Don't you think i didnt try, you need always to be right
Be happy be with whatetver you have, or else to get everything you'll have to fight.

(3rd verse)
Then friends entered in shelter, and destracted,
Her words stucked in mind so Started thinking ahead
Since the day we parted, i feel like i'm discarted,
I'm not live and lively, but i'm alone and lonely
When i look at your pictures, they remind me your smooth texture
Sometime i feel loose in my body, babe, on the fantasies of your body
If you can hear me, come near to me sweetheart
Hold me with your palms, and feel my body parts
They all are numb without your lovable heart
I loved the thing that you made a new start,
I was still stucked but with a regretefull heart

It's 3am and I'm laying awake thinking about what I'm supposed to forget.
I've destracted myself long enough to forget what I was forgetting till now.
Now my mind thinks of everything because it's 3am and I should be asleep.