I just broke up with my boyfriend cause i needed my own space to grow and find out who I am..
It's the hardest decission in my life and it's tearing me apart..

I lost another bit of what i call my family.. gona... torn apart.. guess drugs were more important...
Makes me feel worthless

I get 20% C's 70% B's and 10% A's those marks are lower than any i've ever gotten
Makes me feel stupid

I never go to parties cause I always have to go to work
Makes me feel lonely

But as Albus Dumbledore said it so well;
happiness can be found in the darkest of times if one just remembers to turn on the light

I believe that everything will be aright.. if i just stay positive and keep my head on high...

**Lumos

As the story begins he wasn't in love with me.
feeling very small and insignificant as a humanly
as can I possibly feel.

How it can ache in places that you never
knew had inside you. It doesn't mater how many
glasses of wine you drink with your girlfriends

You still going over every detail wondering what
you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood
and what in the world what was I thinking of

For that brief moment I cant believe I was that happy
and the worst of it all you convince yourself
he will see my beautiful soul and show up at my door

After all that he makes the decission to move on to
someone new. for that split second he makes
you feel worth while all over again

then you try to pick up the little pieces of
your soul hoping they will come flying back
to make you feel good and come alive.

you still end up going to bed going over
every moment of your life that you have
wasted then the picture eventually begins to fade.

How Now Brown Cow?
I said Starting the Day

I'm not budging
Said My Soul

I signed Once
Again
It had Already Made Its Decission
Refusing Manipulation
Bribe
Cajoling
And Tears

Trust
Something More Than Faith
As Each Wave Came Thru
Immoveable

To the Bottom of the Ocean
It Once Fell
Past All Loves And Hopes
Life And Death
To The Secrets
Hungry
For
True Creation
Where Life Splits The Immoveable Place
And It Becomes the Seed
Grown
Never changing Essence
Pure Reason
Made Into Life
Black Mahic Made Real Blackwr than Black
Life
Stillness of The Suns Lightfe
Born certainty
Of Unknowing
She Knew Not Man
They Said
The chills reverberated Throughout Her Bide as She Became Him
Just For a Moment
He Was Born Within
Her Flash
Already
Light
Fully Grown
Light
Calm
It Was True About Herthey Said
And It Was True

What on Earth is Easy.

The fact that we are made in the womb but no one has ever returned there or even give a thank you to it.
We grow to win-win situations. Even parents encourage you to be the best in all. Surely you cant, you can always master a few things and be knowledgable about the rest. You can never cheat life, whoever serious you could be or have all kind of possessions, there comes a time when day seems to be night. If a child can **** the person who brought him/her to the world then how about another kind you meet. Among the punishments given to Adam,Eve and the serpent where who ever sees the other fast should strike them. The tension we under live, when you are healthy you never know the hardship of eating food, the children cry out to hard books as parents toil for their fees, men cry tired of walking while the lame cant help crawling, they complain having the same meal else where its not seen, millions aint enough for shopping another cant have a dollar in a week. I can tell best story of a toilet when the stomach decides to throw back the anger then shall you learn to scott for hours in vain.
Still many will blame God. Some days the sun wakes up on the wrong side and it decides not to shine half or full day, just like a crazy day you may wake up to troubles all through, doesnt mean its over, means change the plan. People work painfully to earn a penny and those that pay feel the pinch to release money even when non is made.
All goes hard, like a man strangles him self but dies crying yet it was his decission, its a world of benefit though in all not each day is for gaining, there are days for learning where no pen, no books, no degree, no money is required most times its SIMPLICITY to learn, humanity, patience, Love, courage, forgiveness, giving, & prayer.