i have arrived at a point
of desperate fury;
a final certainty
that there is no longer a sustainable solution;
the realization that god was right—
the only way to fix this horror
is to wipe it clean,
flood every sea,
drown everything in saltwater
and try again,
pretending all along we have just begun—

but no,
this time there may be no noah,
no single good survivor
except maybe the ones wronged the most,
maybe only the last of the trees,
maybe only the animals

this is to say:
if the human race went extinct
i would not grieve.
only thank the soil as it swallowed me,
only be disappointed because god,
was this the best we could do?
i would love to return
to a belief of more hope,
the someday-vision
of an earth where nothing suffers
and justice wields her scales like a weapon,
needing no blindfold,

but nowadays i only wonder
how we let the earth become this rotten,
let it get too far
and now the problem seems unfixable.
now, all we have to show for it
is a cumulation of debt
and a system that does not care for us.
death was right:
humans are foolish.
we are so good
at keeping things
when they are already lost,
tying them to our chests with hope
thinking we can save it.

but what better way
to halt the plague
than to raze it all to the ground,
set fire to the rotting at the core,
cut the roots and then restart.

to the child-saints we lost too early,
i pray:
tell god,
burn everything.
we need to try again.

There isn't much to be said
About the day time-
Hour after hour, we beat on
Against the ticking clock
Of complacency,
Until before we know it-
We're ****** into the realm of
The halfway living.
Awake past midnight,
Processing the happenings
Of 9-5,
As if draging them out into
Language
Will increase their potency.

There's nothing more moving
Than yesterday,
After a night of fermenting in
Our desperate minds.
Often too late to be felt
Before 10pm.

Reality is too much with us.
Pushing up against
Our trembling palms,
As we reach out
To ******
The manufactured idea of
Happiness. Prepackaged
And with an expiration date
Beyond the next year.

We try to find our fate in tarot cards,
Palm readings, grocery market bargains, expensive haircuts where they only take an inch off but you still cry, second rate ballets and strip clubs, the words of others, and Sunday services past 12 where the hangover isn't as dreadful.
Experience junkies,
****** fiends,
Attention addicts,
Compassion parasites,
We **** the marrow from the earth
And prescribe her with Ritalin
And 3 months of sick leave-
The placebo effect has never seemed
So enticing.

Is this what it's like to talk to God?
Newspapers from last week
Find their way into the warm,
Sticky floors of the subway:
They have no purpose here
In this cool, indifferent future.
Bold headlines prophesying drought,
And lamenting those already dead,
Alongside ads for half off
A large pizza, and 25% off your biggest
Problems. Classified ads
And the sports section
Reek of ***, failure
And vulnerability-
No one cares, now.
The past is only real within the proceeding hour,
And middle school history class lessons,
Too optimistic to hold
Any reality beyond repetition.

Lifeless, we seep through time until
The pages are soaked and soggy with
Our failed ambition and twice baked
Love stories that grossed a billion dollars
For the movie theaters, gas stations and diamond companies-
Condensed into romance novels
And nonfat ice cream:
A testament to a nation
Afraid to feel anything that isn't synthesized
And discussed in tabloid magazines.

Sideline poets and actors,
We rap our knuckles raw against the railing,
Nervously counting down the seconds
Until we will be called to dutifully recite
All we know.
Waiting, we count our blessings.
The cumulation of good deads and sacrifice
That have paid the dues for a one way ticket
To the promised land.
Little children, again,
We twist the frays of our sweaters
And buckle our knees with anticipation
Of judgement day
And Memorial Day weekend.

Tears,
bursting with feelings,
sorrow,
pain,
spill out of my eyes,
stream down my face,
my neck,
my arms.
They slide their way to my fingertips,
and drip onto the keyboard.
One by one,
those tears are united,
a cumulation of letters.
These tears create words,
while I am silent.

Dwindling, spiraling, running out
Life is naught but a mayfly

No time but now
Yesterday, the only guarantee
But for a mayfly, there is no yesterday
And tomorrow is already out of the question
Yesterday and tomorrow
Mean nothing to the mayfly
And so we live today

Hummmmm
Goes the heart of the mayfly
Beating tirelessly, loving endlessly
Each indiscernible thump
Exuding the rich melody of life
Until it stops
And we return to dust

But oh! How passionately our hearts did beat!
Intoxicated by the pure joy of being
How could we be wrenched away
From the moments we shared
The moments we called trivial and routine that
We now romanticize

The mayfly lives for five minutes
The mayfly lives for the moment
The man lives for 79 years
The man lives for tomorrow
Until there are no more tomorrows

Until the cumulation of every unfulfilled dreams and desire
Come crashing down like a great wave and
We return to the dust

The mayfly has no tomorrow
The man needs not tomorrow

Dwindling, spiraling, running out
Life is naught but a mayfly

1, the matter at heart.
• VI of Wands, wands represent our creative desires, our will, and fire.

victory, rising up. from the dark and tangled branches emerges a butterfly. The obstacles have been many but now is not the time to reflect on them, the more pressing question is, where will your new wings take you?

2, Opposing factors, challenges that must be over come, "what crosses you"
• The tower
it is time to brace yourself for change, The well rooted tree that's been growing strong is crashing around you, it may be painful and confusing but it will pass, you'll look back and be grateful that the course was changed.

3, The root cause, why this is happening
• IV of Pentacle, pentacles relate to earthly wealth, this is not always money or material gains, completion of work and Earth.
This card first suggests material gain and stability, yet underneath is a warning.. do not become possessive or controlling. Holding too tightly to the material world will leave you rigid, stagnant, unwilling to change.

4 The Past. How you got here.
• The Fool
The Fool is ready to fly, and ready to take the first steps through the major arkana. It is about new beginnings. it points to the side of you that is spontaneous, excited and naive. Be ready to trip and fumble but no matter what others say, this is your journey and it's already begun.
The Fool, while naive, is unlimited potential personified. Any thing is possible you only need take those first steps. Every person finds themselves back at the Fool, ready to start the cycle through the arkana again.

5 The goal you seek
• Judgement
the word judgement, conjures fear and guilt in many people. This card however concerns another aspect of the word -to seek the truth.
No more blaming yourself or others, no more excuses. It is now time for forgiveness and personal freedom. This card asks you to rise up and let pettiness and fear fall below you. It calls you to rise up, and be reborn.

6 The future, what will come, if this is negative what will you need to change to avoid it? If it is positive, how will you get there?
• III of Wands
the three of Wands show you've had some form of support or have built something sturdy for yourself. With the help, you've formed a sense of self, values and morals. but now it is time to rely on yourself for guidance. Clarify your goals, cast others needs and opinions aside. The future is infinite and it is yours.

7, You, your current state of being.
• Daughter of Swords ,Swords represent action, decisiveness, conflict, logic and Air.  The court cards also represent people, and can sometimes be difficult to decipher. The male and female aspects refer to feminine and masculine energies, and do not also represent physical gender. same for the age of courts, young and old are archetypes in themselves and may not represent actual age.  
The daughter of Swords is a young woman whose honesty and insights take her far in life. People value her frankness. She learns from keen observation, it almost seems she never stops watching. Sometimes this can be a burden for her, as she can't help but notice this or that small detail that could have been done better. There's a potential for her to hold on to those experiences and become spiteful, and judgemental.

8 external infulences. outside events, people or forces that effect you.
• Ace of Pentacle
in the center of giant redwood trees a tiny seedling once stood. such is the energy of the Ace of Pentacle. it's the seed that takes root, grounding you for the future. You're in the beginning phases of a prosperous venture, stay focused. Go and appreciate nature and what she has to give.. An unexpected windfall of wealth may be headed your way.

9 hopes and fears. these are sometimes hard to dechiper as they can be buried deep within the subconciouns, think hard about this card, it may be showing you something that is far from obvious.
• Father of Pentacle

The father of Pentacle is a steady, gentle man. Upon first meeting, he can almost seem dull because of his extremely calm temperament. But underneath is an incredibly passionate man who priortizes the stability of his friends, family and environment. He is entrepreneurial and diligent at work. A pleasure to know.

10 The final outcome.
• IX of Pentacle
Always a welcome card, the nine of Pentacles is a time to enjoy the many results of your loyalty and hardwork. This may be a promotion at work, happiness at home or a fullness in life. A cumulation of your efforts, weather it be material or something else it is welcome and fufilling.

Now for my favorite part, trying to make the cards tell a tale.

The first card shows a butterfly, it rising above and leaving the challenges of the past behind, wings full of new wind. But where is it flying?
The tower, while scary with it's promise of sudden change can be an exciting and wonderful card. Meet these challenges head on and survive and you will be far better off than when you began. Sometimes the foundation must be destroyed to move foward, and build something better.
Your past shows you as a fledgling, the excitable fool, no doubt running into the brambles of the first card. It will be good to remember this, how tough it was to get through but how strong you became as you weaved your way through the brambles.
The roots of this seem to stem from something rigid in form. I think with the other cards it shows a tiredness and need of change, thus the fools recent adventures.

The goal of judgment is a lofty one but surely with your new wings it is attainable, and the future looks bright, once the tower falls and those challenges are met you will have what is needed to soar to new hieghts.

The cards show you as the daughter of Swords. Observant and whimsical but perhaps still too rigid. If there are things in your past that your holding to it is time to cut them loose. Don't let the suit of Swords turn on you.

Ace of Pentacles as the external influences is interesting. Something may need more cultivating. It may also show the need for patience. Something good /is/ coming. But, best not to harvest early..

The father of Pentacles in hopes and fears.. I really can't say. What might it mean to you?  Try to think of how both fears and hopes may relate. Trust your intuition.

Now the final out come. Completion of work, a bountiful harvest, somewhere to rest those wings. Your reward for accepting change, pushing through. With how the cards flow to this one, I would say it's going to be some thing really worth while, worth anything you have to face.

Through out this, always remember the goal. Seeking truth. Inner and outer.
This spread shows you are in the middle of an adventure. The Fool learns, faces challengs, draws the universe in and makes it their own, changes, becomes enlightened and the cycle contiunes.