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David Nelson Sep 2011
****** Factor

old Ralphy McCalister they all called him Chubs
he was a one of kind ****** ball even rooted for the Cubs
he thought he was slick yes he thought he was cool
only thing wrong was most thought he was a tool

greasy long black hair combed high on his head
various sized zits on his face all puffy and red
he still wore high heeled boots to make him seem tall
always trying to impress saying I have to take this call

when everyone knew it was most likely his mom
he'd wink at you and say loudly hey hi there Tom
who was supposed to be some famous music man
working on a record deal for Chubs and Steely Dan

it's funny cause he couldn't play, dance or sing
his best known talent was drooling over some young thing
with his black leather jacket and skin tight jeans
only tune he could play was after eating baked beans

he wore phony gold bracelets and chains round his neck
spent time in the pokey for kiting a check
always looking for an angle to scam off a buck
his made-up stories could fill a large truck

yes on the sleeze meter he scored a staggering plus
there goes another of his pimples about to ooze ****
you know he might have had a chance at being an actor
one thing for sure was he had that special sleeze factor

Gomer LePoet...
Wk kortas Mar 2017
He is the sort who seems well cast
As the Grim Reaper’s right-hand man:
Hulking, deliberative in movement and thought alike,
Generally doing the heavy lifting of the direct route to the afterlife
With a grim solemnity not shared by the funeral directors
In whose service he lifts, wrangles, and grunts
(They are, to be fair, not the black-hatted, pale-complected ghouls
Littering Dickensian tales or Monty Python sketches;
They are businessman, Rotarians, purveyors of cheerful websites
And nine-year-old giggle-worthy sponsorships of Little League teams)
Performing his duties wordlessly, monotonously
Sparing no time for idle chat or frivolity
(Though on one occasion, when Lew Jackson from over in St. Mary’s
Brought in a women that he’d known as a girl,
A girl who had found time under the bleachers for everyone but him,
And had turned that gift into two stories of gabled comfort
Plus a membership at the Elk County Country Club;
He’d looked at the box and sighed Well, this is a bit of a surprise.
I’d always had her burnin’ up somewhere else.
)

Crematory Lenny is a fisherman, his normal haunts
Some shady bank on the Clarion’s East Branch,
Or one of the sturdier railroad trestles just outside town
(The trains not having run through Montmorenci Falls in his memory)
Though if there is a Sunday where his ministrations are not required,
He will drive up to the Kinzua Dam,
Sometimes eschewing pole and tackle altogether,
Choosing to simply wade into the silence of the reservoir.
He is strictly a catch-and-release fisherman,
Even returning sunnys and chubs best simply thrown on the creekside
(Good stream management and all that)
Back to the water, freely admitting that, in culinary terms,
Perch, trout, and bass are simply take-it-or-leave-it propositions.
Sometimes, though, he will foul hook one,
Or come upon some fish deeply scarred or tumor-ridden,
And he will reach into coat or pants pocket
To remove the garden ***** he never travels without,
Proceeding to dig a small hole, just so wide and so deep,
To serve as a final piscine resting place.
He would not, indeed could not, begin to explain
The whys and wherefores of these internments,
Being a virtual Caiban if matters stray from the weather and shop-talk,
Nor does he pause to ruminate upon the dearly departed,
Simply casting once more in stealth and silence,
With no sound save the whizzing whisper of the drag, the brief plop
As the lure breaks the surface.
Jennifer Jul 2013
You
I'm in love with everything about you.  

I love the little curls in your hair.  
I love your golden brown eyes when you first wake up in the morning, barely open.  
I love when you speak in the morning or late late at night, when your voice is so smooth.
I love when you hold my chubs in your hands and still love me.  
I love when you smile that mischievous smile of yours that screams that you want me.  
I love when you kiss me when we've been drinking and all I get is that tongue.  
I love that you're allergic to me, I think it's kind of cute.  
I love that I can make you smile so big just by my smile,
and that I can make you laugh by just my laughter.  
I love that when we do laugh together, we can’t stop and we can't control ourselves.  
I love that you want me to try new things, but know that I'm picky.
I love that you respect my thoughts and show me that you care
I honestly wouldn't trade a single moment with you for all of the gold in the world.  
I'm so happy to be your girl, and I can't wait to be your wife.  
Thank you for being exactly right for me.  
You do not yet know what you have saved.
03.04.13
I vicariously induce her
where deed is factoid
and she lie there my tack
that raze on her back
whether we might cherish this muse
and ride track that we expose alike
in the twilight
that wake chubs astream
and in this heat we kiss further
that curses are admired
as rules are acclaim
and we are never dying together
and this we sake in Jacob
in the manner we speak
Infamous one Jan 2018
Haven't been writing as much but reading more need to be more vivid with details that make the reader use their five sense and be able to see what I'm talking about. I'm currently appreciating  the humor in freaks and geeks has James Franco and Seth Rogan they are an awesome team I like their chemistry so fresh and organic. It cracks me up how social awkward people can be but sometimes it's just a natural thing for some. The more I read the voice in my head thinks of how it should be said and the tone. I'd like to do more comedy but I think silence will make it more intense than funny. It's easy to be honest and find humor in well thought out stuff. It can be complicated since people don't look for funny in the bad or tough times. I don't like to let bad ruin my good time or make the fun lose it's value. Times have changed what's new growing up is now a classic or oldie time has flown by. Learned to embrace age gray hair and chubs looking in the mirror seeing more wrinkles and dark circles around my eyes no matter how much sleep I get. What bugs you or gets on your nerves you let go of speak the truth makes me feel great because I don't need to be liked because most of the people I like don't like me behind my back but if I don't like them I do it to their face. Not into fake people anymore I don't need to I press or prove myself to anyone just myself and I could be my own nightmare to deal with
Infamous one Jul 2020
D32
He tried to train
Always distracted
Disappointed with himself
He couldn't focus
Her name crossed his mine
Use to be obsessed
His workout kept him sane
Hanging on by a thread
He looked in the mirror
Loved himself his smile
She dropped him cold
No reason or explanation
He'd get lost in his workout
When things bugged he'd run
Running forever was a thought
In the gym had to start over
Build up muscle and tone
Couldn't pick up in the same place
Only if it worked that way
From lean to chubs the challenge began

— The End —