i went to the place we first met
to try and make amends with my ghost
not much has been the same since you came around
im missing you terribly
and sometimes i think i can make out the faint noise
of you screaming you love me into the wind
like you did seven months ago
in a field blooming with bugloss flowers
how puerile of me to not realize
that we were surrounded by the flower of lies
i hate anything that reminds me of you
so i guess i hate everything including myself
i see you in the passenger seats of cars on busy highways
and i see you in empty grocery store aisles
i see you in clouds and tv shows
and newspapers and sunlight
and everything else there is to imagine
because youre all i see now
i gave myself to you the first day we met
but you refused to take me
so now my soul is out wandering
these weakly lit streets
people ask why i see so distant
i turn to them and wonder
if they can see the image of you  
kissing me for the first time
in the reflection of my eyes
i also wonder if they can see
the image of me throwing up
and shrieking and sobbing the day you left
im begging someone to fix this absence we created
three months ago when you walked away
i went to the first place we met
to try and make amends with my ghost
but by the time i had arrived it had already moved on
just like you

-m.v.