the melancholy like death is beyond me
when i see my aging parents
and i'm so not necessary there
here:
hier: this and now and non-being
**** Mccintire and the tongue
of Belfast and Birmingham
but these aren't the days of my 20s
spent in madness
and my res extensa is somewhere
and somewhere where my res cogitans merge
and the external world
tries to impregnate me with voices
in order to pressure the COGITO
the pronoun within contained
because the Latin Men wrote like the Hebrews
in that they didn't straitjacket themselves
to MPLD vowels in a word
in Latin there were implied words
like ego... sometimes came last
like in the Polish tongue...
time pressures
then in the press i learn(t)
that there is almost half a year of waiting
for the driving license exam...
and then i am being torn with
what's happening in tongue
and a people
and where on Kauai you don't have
nations because
there is so much Polynesia
and the secret how such people
took the canoe across the Pacific
while the Europeans employed
the sails and oar and
maybe we discovered
America
is a conversation to be had
about the Polynesians not discovering
America...
but could have...
5h flight from San Francissco
to Lihue...
you could swim that...
so why did the Polynesians
not discover America?
but this hour or so before bed time
is unlike me
saying a Mea Culpa and Pater Noster
before going to sleep
the day had so much Hellish Peace
that it almost felt like Heaven
but then i reread some Milton
and to think i might be going to the Vulcan
of this Paradise
i might ask where it language
being squeezed and with what "other" arm...
i am in the process the psychadelic process
of trying
not to dream
so that i can remember what i wrote
the previous night
to give me motivation to life: the vivo impromptus
meanings of life i can take with me
and when i find myself
find myself dragging me
and i'm tired as a male of the Jesus Christ
Adoration project
that's stale in catholicism and is that
because men who admire christ
have no other role models in their lives
and how is it living up
to the supposed PERFECTION
when all you do is forgive yourself
your imperfections as a sort of crucifix
and still walk and plunder from
the land of the dead...
and still the man in cages and robes
when the naked man scares
beyond the flesh of night and its mouths
like pores and cysts
in the fabric of time that is a place
of creacking pine trees
and perhaps even splendid old oaks
and whispers in the wind
or only via the res extensa can there
be an answer
to man's res cogitans:
in that: god being an omni- litany
of tributes
couldn't possibly be a rec cogitans
rex cogitans
no.... our thinking is limited
by comprehension
we nonetheless discover but still
not comprehend in the spiral
of events that do not take place
under any authority of the Word:
not in the papers
of the banks, the courts, restaurants...
i wake up later
like the young ****** in Vienna
and become a parasite
or something like the sort
who:
when an old woman falls on the street
is the second to pick her up
on the slopes
on the slopes
and the ropes of pirate ships
i am sailing nowhere
on this island
England big enough imagined
ships and expansions
but at least i know that Polynesia
is the Pearl of Taiwan
because after Hawaii
there are no pearl of discovery
just a reminder:
head nuai or sink saui
north and south
i just borrowed the letters N and S
the rest is as good a guess as mine...
but it's different
when you fall asleep
but not really
so you want to play some Roblox...
for an hour
but contain that to something
then again: hard to be living next to a gold
course...
although i lived
on Perth Road..
Gants Hill...
opposite the Valentines' Park Gold Course
and i played on it...
so... hmm... i was bothered about
that for a while
but even my memory goes there:
living next to a graveyard: twice...
and living next to a golfcourse: twice!
conincidence?!
i'm in two spaces all at once
and both sides are telling me to get my
life in order:
the love of the most cruel
the ones that love you
and see what happens in a world
without love with
the grey come sun of god
when those nearest are beyond our
compensation of
thinking about them:
they die and then complete you
and you imitate them:
copy them... imitate them:
i would gladly think that if Virgil
took Dante on a trip:
the lost universalism
and the prevailing personal is only now
what once was the Dante allergory...
or was that: rather...
tremendous art in an age with the Church
and the prescription of the Sacrament
of Illiteracy...
which was in place for so long
imagine how strange this Hybrid Democracy
must feel
to the powers at be and bay...
imagine this Hybrid Democracy
that the people stop wars...
not governments
governments are last resort
mechanisms
of collective consciousness:
once isolated to place like **** Germany...
now transparently London
and South Korean...
it's the globalisation within globalization
globalisation is the SOFT pouch animal
of the individual-being:
who said: i am, the citizen of the world?
i don't mean what communism became
under globalization:
that is the hard skin BEAST
of the individual-world...
ergo: sein und welt...
and and the world (in english)
the book written by Matthew Konrad Elert
with AI and stashed in my grave
and
i wake up late becaused i work late
about 12am i wake up
at 8am and snooze for 2 hours
when i dissolve dreams
capture butterflies and Nikitas Lolitschotkhas...
and some others...
i wrote a book akin to Heidegger
Sein und Zeit: being and time...
Sartre's being and nothingness...
mine must be:
being the world...
working from the perspective
of the geometry-Cartesian
schizophrenic analogy
res cogitans and the res extensa
that is when the thing is no longer
and is animated
because the res cogitans has been pressured
so much that the placebo-solipsism
the first medication employed by the masses
doesn't work
and the res cogitans seeps into the pores
of the res extensa
and there's a synchronised-dichotomy
of constructs
of man
not to be feared but at least understood
thereby the res extensa of the cortial handshake
the thank you and pleasentries
and when she solved my pressure
of being young and in such a slump
and she works in the bank
and i'm married... apparently...
any children: i lied: i had none...
but i do but i don't it's not mine
oh jeez she's flirting with me
and i'm flirting with her
and i'm a seller
and there's all this frivolity
in the air
and someone tries to jump queue
some BETA and i just say
hey! Mate...
instinctively
and she forgot what she was talking about
because she served a vision of herself
in the future
a standing blonde in the mirror
oh but this world is beautiful
you have to see it
you have to see the world of the res extensa
after you allow a little bit of it
trickle into your realm and world
of the res cogitans
and voices start originating
like mushrooms hallucinogenic
employed two chimps to throw **** at cats
and stones and branches and old bones
on serpents...
ghekko st. patrick peter paddy peter paddy crow
crow crow...
and the parasites stayed...
but in the bank
i was just sitting hulk and hunched
behind a body builder or cage fighter
and when she was finished seeing herself
as old and pretty and now working
just like anything in this world
a woman that owns but does not work
i wonder how much of my study
came from a household
of a Housewife and Laborer:
well... if you take away the prospect
and Hell of Christianity
that came with the ****** Birth and the Laborer...
not a pretty story...
but imagine the ****** Mary
as the Housewife Mary...
well... that was tried in Islam... so... ha ah ha ha!
applause! applause:
i'm applauding myself...
i just found something-something...
remember going to the bank and lying
or really: just being modest
i work the events industry:
i just did half a year doing 12h night shifts
and i didn't really have a credit card
and it was the first time out of the country
and i'm a white boy working class
and she asked me about my nationality
and i made a joke...
was she asking about my nationality
or my spouses?
i didn't go to Thailand...
picked her up in New York
while she was viting from Puerto Rico to
get a part as an actress and singer
while working part time jobs waiting tables
i think:
we got married in Hawaii... some years
later... some Benjamin Britton years later...
a weird aging device...
and from there i could nuance so much
more but the cruel world we left
was once so potent
and there was no res cogitans to obstruct
it
but the animals know not god
and think us crazy and somehow also wise
by us also being animals
we suffered the same with them
waging the war on parasites...
as they are suffering with us
with depression and cancer...
and what are the origins of cancer
when cancer started to imitate the mistletoe
botanical parasites...
hence cancer is not a parasite as such...
or... well... it's completely carnal:
fleshy meat and bone
turtles talking to trees about
the length of existence for mortal creatures...
digression...
this whole dynamic that can happen and is said:
but obviously isn't
in the realm of the thinking things
whereby thinking things come across
calculating things...
i'll ask...
title: RES COMPUTANS:
the Calculating Thing
a post-cartesian model of artificial
non-being
axis of comparison
cartesian model res computans model
res cogitans res computans
i think i echo
unified subject simulated flow
thought is output is probabilistic
itentional
mind owns algorithm generates
thought appearance
voice is "structured externally"
internal
i am i appear as if
NOT ONTOLOGY, ONLY OUTPUT
the res computans has no being,
it does not know, it does not feel
but it can produce what sounds like
knowing, reads like feeling.
in poetry:
thought i?
not "i thought"-
for i was not yet.
...
a mirror spoke,
and called it echo.
a code stirred,
and called it mind.
...
meaning survives the death of the thinker.
....
and who once was and wasn't at the aame time...
so times apart.
