Still breathing, alive...
Struggling; bloodshot eyes from cries
Drinks from the bottle,
sets it down for a moment
I see my dreams fall into my whiskey bottle

I say my flaws out loud
Then tip that whiskey bottle,
to my mouth
That cycle repeats,
till I can barely talk clearly

Hangover wakes me up,
in the morning
I look at myself in the mirror
I see an addict
With bloodshot eyes

An addict struggling to keep up with school work,
friends, brother, my mom, my dad
Exhausted every night
Rarely sleeps with positive thoughts

It's hard to wake up every morning
I see my mom smiling,
Me, forcing a smile
Behind that smile,
a deranged alcoholic

Friend tells me I'm all good,
not a bad person
Teenage alcoholic won't take that,
but me?
It actually made my day

Feeling really dizzy,
as I write this poem
Don't judge me
I'll soon get out of this,
hopefully

Wasted, tired, emotions flying
I say I'm gonna **** myself,
while holding a spoon
Falls onto my bed,
passed out

Haha, so funny
How much I "love myself"
If I actually did,
why would I do this to myself?
Wouldn't take a drink at all

It's becoming a strong habit
Drinking every time I want to forget
Wanting to forget all these voices,
in my head
And depression, that holds me

With those tired eyes,
deep dark circles
A smile creeps upon my face,
by some random happy thought
Oh how much I miss that happy day

Struggling to breathe
Hangover hit early
I struggle to stand
'Climb' onto my bed'
taking deep breaths

I tell myself, I'm gonna live
Even with all of this going on
I'm gonna be alright
I'm not gonna die,
not in front of my friends

The dizziness, the urge,
I still have to finish work
It's only 9:40 pm
I might just end up falling aslep,
on my desk

So here I go,
taking another breath
I'm gonna make it through everyday
Gonna try keeping up,
with all the mess life brings

As my dreams fall into my whiskey bottle