The letter was a warm invitation  and a perfect getaway I needed to lay low after are  brief rise to cult status i had partaken of the
rewards of semi obscurity and had a few angry fathers searching for me.

The big apple it called to me like a stripper apon a pole demanding thats all you got is ones you cheap *******?
My true sidkick  like robin to batman just less gay and good looking.

Met me at the station  Amigo how the hell are you now were's the bar?
Drinks on you right?
Cause when your a semi celeb slash rockstar of hello why the **** should i pay.
Why should women be the only ones to walk into a bar with three dollars  in there purse and get rip roaring drunk.
Besides if i was a chick id be a **** *****.

The stage was set the bar was filled with strange sounding people
all asking my well know  brother in madness who tha  ***** this *******.
****** good man im not just any ******* im Gonzo.

Beer on another mans tab always tasted better   just remember ******
im not putting out   well unless  you ask me niceley  or pay  me
like that rich old lady used to who  also was missing her leg.

yes what memeories id slip her a mickey  rearrange her  clothes and after she woke  up tell her what a wild night we had yes i know
true romance.

BUT ENOUGH WITH THE FOREPLAY CHILDREN!

We began are quest like any other  seeing how much ***** we could
hold  till  normal people began to make sense.
I work everyday busting my freakin ***  still it aint enough Gonz.
The angry little italian man who's wallet i had borrowed said beside me.
Hey a girls gotta eat.
Dear lord man you mean you actully have to go back everyday hey is this a gold card   your worse than my wife freakin ***.
Sir you are a charmer  what angry little people  lived here.

Bill lets hit the ******* im in need of culture  and some naked women amigo  come on im  drinks are on Vinny who gives a ****.

After bill  dipped into his life savings to pay the tab we hopped
a cab headed for Manhattan  to the place  of great myths and wonder
it called to great men from arond the world to bask in its beauty.

No not the statue of the giggantic woman  with a torch although i wondred  as i stood below her ****** why cant she be wearing a mini skirt.
You gotta love a big girl  she was such a tease.

No as i stood  tears meeting my bloodshot eyes
befor the mecca  the big apple and the home  of legends and playground to the *****.

Hey get the **** outta the street *******.
It"s Gonzo  man ****** how many times do i need to repeat myself.
Scores a ******* to the rich  a fools paradise **** Disneyland.
Ive been on spacemountian most my life anyways.

As through the doors we were met by a scene of true
art much like the Mona Lisa  if she were a stripper named candice cane  in red high heels hanging from a stripper  pole.

the drinks flowed  the lap dances were well you get the point.
I realized my two drink minimum freind was a little how should i say it poetically.
******* wasted.

As he tried  to give a stripper named honey a lap dance  
never mind him ladies he's my  ******* brother.
In a plan of true drunken genius i explained he was sick and
his last wish was for his older brother to hookup with
some   hot  strippers to have  ahh  some  after hours activities  
Who's ***** bingo.
how i love  bango I mean bingo.

Tears welled up in there eyes  thank god they didnt question why my little brother was 58.
Hey there strippers  and if they  were all going to college  then
this would be a ******* library  not a high  dollar  titie bar.

Librarians with there hair up short tight skirts and glasses
i swear you get busted for  having a little alone time on a public
computer   in that over rated book store for a second time and everyone  flips ****.
Society is so judgemental  but that's another story  
and court case   away.

The plastic fake boobie women had fallin for it.
So like drunken ninjas in a fog of  dellusion and wild turkey we made are last exit to brooklyn.
  
Hey  Gonz why do these chicks keep asking how much longer do i have.
Smacking my friend swiftly in the head had drawn the attention
of the strippers away from counting there tips and comparing there fake breast.

He's got brain dammage sometimes you have to hit em in the  
head to get him unstuck  ****** just look at the poor *******
he thinks he's not sick  oh dam life i need a cuddle girls.
Bill hold the camera.

We hit my friend's apartment like tourist slipping across the boarder grabing and  consuming great amounts of ***** and some sort of white powder  must have been for allergies.

Like squirrels  on acid  running down the interstate we were  
half nuts by the time that big orange ball thats causes me to wear sunglases did appear.

The ladies who names i cant recall  but honestly who gives a ****.
were passed out in bed Bill  in the fish tank  
calling himself captian nimmo  at this point led me to belive just maybe he had  a little  to much  but theres  many pitfalls on the road to Gonzo pacman.

Few men had the liver  or insanity of your's truely.
so after i talked my  tripping amigo off the frige.
Reassuring him its okay   amigo   thats what women look like naked.

I assure you  just cause they broke theres off doesnt mean they'll do the same to yours.
****** son why have a computer if not to look at **** and read long rants by insane people who call themself Gonzo?

After are long disscussion   about good touch bad touch and happy endings  we were off  again.

                                                 Ground Zero

                                        Silence And Respect

Standing there there was a shared  moment.
And a pain any soul could feel.
It wasnt about race or religion  it was about people
we all lost that day.
John Patrick Robbins stood beside a brother without a word
said as it spoke a million feeling's to the soul.

                           No one ever truley leaves there.

At the bus station a few cocktails behind us me and the kiddster
parted slightly hung over   and strung out smelling of reckless abandon
and strippers and wild turkey.

Apon the bus sitting by the window and some large man.
Who reaked of sardines  and  resembled a  cerial ******.
yes ladies he's single  and will probaly **** ya.
Wonder why he has a hard time getting dates?

As Bill waved goobye to his demented  brother from his own planet.
I waved back saying hey amigo  is this your debit card hell no worries
i'll keep  good care of it and reward myself.

As the bus left the station  my semi ******* friend chasing behind
yelling Gonzo i'll get you for this you freakin *******.
Kidster  that hurt i yelled but not as much as it's gonna hurt you bank account cheers.

That guy in black is ******  you  better watch out he's probaly connected.
No worries my funny smelling oversized friend
so am i replied.
I have the internet as well.

Bound for parts unknown Gonzo  made many stops
and if not for legal reason's  id share most of them.
Yes as i sat apon the beach  after taking a little side trip to Florida.
Drink in hand lost in deep thought's for which i cant remember.
      
Reflecting apon my time in the big apple.
And my friend the Kiddster
A toast to my friend.
Hope you like the post card  and the three week vacation
i treated myself to.

Sorry about the whole life savings thing but
who needs to retire in there 80's  work will keep you young girlfriend.

Cheers your slightly insane friend Gonzo.

we create worlds
here on the internet
connecting we those
we will never see

chatting over virtual
back fences about
children, cats, recipes

we meet those who
have similar views
and those who don't
discuss things of import
show sympathy with
sad faced emoticons

we wish each others pets
happy birthdays with
cartoon characters

we share our art, music
and photography
then there are us poets
who write our hearts
for others to see

it is a melting ***
of thought and culture
of the full spectrum
of ability.....

it is a place of secrets
or exhibitionist excess

it is in many ways a wonder
and many ways a curse

the internet, really
just like the bottom
of an old ladies purse
full of useless lint and
used tissues, but if you
ferret arond long enough
you will find a dollar
or a hard candy

I look out into the world and see all this beauty
And my heart runs wild
As sensations I’ve never imagined rush through it
And I want so badly to create these wonders
I want to mould beauty
So I start
Eager, young, naive
I begin
Trying, working, struggling
My teacher shows me how
I try some more
A kind soul corrects me
I continue trying
But before I show anyone my beauty
I see a version more perfect
More beautiful
And I let mine fall
I wake up
No longer young
or naïve
or eager
Doubtful,
Aged,
I wake
my dream shatters
I let it fall
And I sit and try to shed tears
But can’t for I am too old for that
I sit
watching this version of beauty pass by
I know you will say
We should not compare ourselves with others
You will say
there will always be greater and lesser people than ourselves.
But in truth
what is to be human?
To live amongst people
To be thankful when around those with less
To find it hard to do the same when those arond have more.
I know you will say
We each have our type of beauty,
One we can give,
One that will move someone,
One that will belong to someone
It will be their version of beauty
Their perfection
And I think
I decide that you are right
I pick up my pieces
Get back to work
Finally I’m done
My beauty is perfect in my eyes
I lock it away in a place where none can find it
I keep it.
Once in a while
I look at it
Once in a while
It moves me
Once in a while
It makes me smile
For none else can see it and find fault in it
None else can crush it
Since it is mine
I can never destroy it
Once in a while
It’s my perfection,
My beauty


I say all this
But I Lie to myself
For each time I look at my beauty
Look at my perfection
It looks dull
Unpolished
And no matter how hard I want to try
Always unfinished.
Though I have all the time in the world.
It hurts
I am my own worst judge.
Beauty is the reason we create
Why the vampire lives forever
Why a single note of the orchestra
freezes hearts for one breath
Why a simple melody will move souls
Yet stop the evening breeze from being felt
They are all perfect
that’s what I want
Laughable
How can I possibly get there?
What was I thinking
Assuming.
I should just let it fall one last time
For beauty is clearly not meant to come from me
Just observed,
Some are made to create beauty
I was made to be moved by it.
So what do we do then?
For I had dedicated my life to creating beauty
Now what?
Why did I have to see their beauty?
Why did I foolishly look?
For the funny part is
They are my image,
or maybe I’m the cheap imitation of theirs.

Comfort is questioned.
As another story unveals tonight,
the uncharted road not explored.

A familiar image appears.
With a flash of lightning
on both the left and right.

Breathe in.Scent of Pure bliss, with a hint of carpe diem
Though it is not our home.
For we do not have one,yet.

Not caused by anything, but our true desire.
Constant change and chance.
Solely living life.

Where we'll end , who knows.
Fate is devious, but tasteful
and factors out what does not accommodate you.

A sudden noise begins.
Eyelids open.
my alarm has waken me.

I sit up fast.
Why was this dream so concealed?
Buried so deep, unseen to even me til now.

I look arond in a new place, alone.
remembering the first road explored.
So easy. Simple. So 'Normal".

Thoughts pop as if it were popcorn thrown in a fire.
Love is infinite and blind,
but aquires true ambitions.

Happines doesnt grow.
It is inevitable,
if its genuinely you.



Another chance as a taste arises.
Do you go for it or deny it?
Similar devotion from both sides required.

Hearts get taken and then shattered.
As it is a part of LIVING life.
Being scared of it is a silly choice.

Human nature makes it so hard to deal.
Doesn't make it impossible.

Living Life and finding self-fullfillment isn't easy,
for if it was, being alive would be just as unreal as a DREAM.

We all have done it.
And would be a liar to say we didn't.
You know told something.
When we shouldn't have.

But, I still hate the friend.
Who claims they are speaking for you to the press?
Where they place their own opinions into the mess.
If, I really wanted the news to know.
Then, I would have confessed the story months ago.

But, then someone people loves to be before the cameras.
And that have never been me.
Because many gossipers loves to create a variety of things.

Just to see you respond.
What they always seems fail to realize in the end?
A lie stays around while the real true fades into the dark.

And then the friends will say they never believe any of that.
Except,they fail to tell you they was getting paid behind your back.

We all seem people smile before your face.
And stabbed you in back without a glance.

Things that you probably only told to one.
Is now heard all arond the town you live in.

All because of the gossiper.

Do you need me, in the lonely hours of the night?
Let my love consume you, and your soul will be at ease.
With the a swift touch, the feeling of your affection, I beg of you, don’t be a tease.
As I lie awake and think of you at night,
I feel fine, everything’s alright.
Your touch makes me feel like the only girl in the world,
I know that’s not true, you’ve got your way around,
putting the other girls’ minds in a whirl.
I get excited when you come to my window at night, to see your eyes gleaming in the moonlight.
But your breath reeks of *** Spice, i’m gasping for air as your hands around my neck grow tight.
  
Your words that hurt me are forgotten as I feel your kiss against my neck.
The sensation you give me, makes me feel like I can fly,
But the days your hands find their way arond my neck, all I want to is die.
I know you love me, I know that you do.
You only forget to love me on the nights you’ve had a few.
The next day you always approach me at school, full of apologies.
I lie and say there’s no excuse for your atrocities.
You know I love you too much to let you go,
This thing I’ve called love has kept me at an all time low.
  
You call me at night, say you need to see me.
You tell me to be quiet, as you force me down and kiss me slowly.
With the smell of Mike’s prominent on your breath,
All I can think about is my time of death.
You never love me when I ask you to, you act like it’s a chore,
But you expect me to respond to your beck and call when you come knocking at my door.
Physicality isn’t another word for love, you only use me when you feel unwanted;
I want you all to myself, but you make me feel disheartened.
The love you give me is not from within, but the alcohol that reeks off of your skin.
As I stand at the top of the bridge, jump, drop my weight, go down full throttle.
You take a smooth sip from your brown rimmed bottle

I could write of many things, I could say it in the right jargon,
But I am doing this for free, so consider it a bargain.

If you spend the years ahead, as determined, when you did this job,
Your dedication to retirement will be, full and completely yours,

You have a home arond which to putter or you could go to a golf course and repair your game,
but Don't change. You have often said, "I am not the man I used to be, or maybe I never was."

If you get bored or lonely just don't file, your tax returns and one of us, is sure to call.
I have learned that when I have a problem, and I must "not hesitate to deal with it."

Whether it be your quiet effective wit or your common sense wisdom,
Or the few words exchanged, I would turn, and see you working hard at the job again.
Dedication, you never punched the clock, you would leave when the day's work was done.
Retiring will pay dividends, you are dedicated to a plan, and you have a plan,right?

Having no list of things for you to do or "how to" occupy your time.
You could take up writing poetry, and I have a spare dictionary on rhyme.
You are at the pinnacle, peak condition, the top of your game, quite a climb,eh?
From now, whether you travel far or travel near, each day, enjoy the view!
I have much enjoyed working beside you, thanks for putting up with me.



©DWE012014

..plase dear..don't go
            so arond..  
                    
                 ..you still find yourself in the same place..

       --is it home or somewhere more near to you..
..          ..to yourself again..the
                            
                                     ...mirror doeesn't ever lie..
                ..so go with it..
                                                   ..nothing in everything..

                            ,,boo.boo.boo..