we sing the concrete jungle
(you can get lost in the country, too)
in fact, you can get lost anywhere that is
and people that drive away from their problems
thinking that it really is location, location, location
are lying to themselves

because the reason he decides to take a job in Utah,
probably isn't because he hates where he's at, or because
his boss is a ****, but because the unease that pulses through
his hands tells him, verbatim, that you could belong somewhere
else, you just need to keep moving.  If you've ever tried to run
and talk sense into yourself at the same time, you'd know that
the two aren't so much mutually exclusive, that you're either
running or you're thinking and most people
don't like to be




alone




with themselves, so we've perpetuated the notion that distractions
are healthy and ourselves are not, that most thoughts are too heavy
to bear and the crack of each cannon drives you borderline pyschotic,
so we hide in the trenches or break for the trees,
pretend we don't exist,
pretend we don't hear
what goes inside our heads
and all the feelings that could
be real that churn inside our chest
like the taffy machine in Depoe, Oregon
wrenching and loving and yearning and angonizing--
how we've learned to so mercilessly ignore ourselves
is beyond me


so when we pack up our travel trailers and claim that
anywhere is better than here, I'd propose that everywhere
is the same, and here or there, whether between the red rocks
in Moab or the aspen trees in Palisade, while ultimately different
coordinates, look
just
the
*******
same

Dimly lit bedrooms ,
tick, tick, ticking of the digital clock
Any outsider looking in would’ve thought i was insane.

Screaming into my pillows, begging for it to stop
the angonizing interal pain bursting at the seams of my body

I am my own coffin, my own cause of death.
My head is an occupied battleground, fighting a fight that i will continuously lose.
Bloodshed of calming memories replaced with overthinking thoughts.
Bang Bang Banging on my chest.
At the end of the wave, the battleground is empty, countless memories slained.
There is only one sound;
a drained body weeping.

engaged in
sippin’

it’s a delicacy
among all the
actions we fool
humans partake

sippin’ is of a kind,
a slower breathing,
a finery of human,
tiny steps taken,
gifting balance,
perspective
one sense
at a time

sorta a purification,
a priest anointing,
oil on a king’s head,
droplet by drop,
for that is what it makes,
takes, to be royal, patient,
wisdom of consideration

my love is royal,
parceled out like
broad wide~wet~
white wake, witnessed,
verified bu synchronized
fly~sized human eyes,
tiny impartial arbiters of
finery, the lace hand~
sewn into the delicate
fabrics of our world,
skin of our lives

sipping’
is the pace
full of grace envy,
but forget to emulate
rushing to join the
waiting frustration
of endless traffic to
meetings that blab
blah blah blah, ah,
wasting brain cells

turn to my woman,
big grin, worn in a
slow borning smile,
she
says what? as if
I’m keeping a great secret,
an angonizing revealtion for
when I slow breathe out,
in drops deliberate,
giving a pledge,
a phraseology,
I~Love~You
but taking
maybe so long
an extended ten!
whole seconds, which
to her is an eternity, earning/deserving
a punch to whichever of my arms
be nearest to her body’s
heart

while I slow laugh,
sippin’ great pleasure
from a well and proper
brimming cup of joyous,
write a small sip tribute
of an another

only love poem

Many times I sit on my tarnished tear stained chair
Trying to figure out who is really here
I tried to paint a picture of how I actually feel
But I couldn't find the right colours to make it look real
Not one colour was vivid enough for me to see straight again
Not one trace of colour was bright enough to show my angonizing pain
Not one colour was deep enough to show you the wounds in my heart that I feel everyday
The only thing revealed on the never ending sheets of paper were..                                   
Teardrop stains
Never ending like my burning pain!
Nothing in this world can ever compare!!
To my teardrop stains
My picture of pain

She sits on her bed stiff and her body aching
Her daily pain arrives upon awaking
She struggles and fight to get out of her bed
It has only been seconds and the burning pain has already begun to spread
Spread like wild fire
Spread like a woman's desire
Single tears fall, this angonizing pain is rather extreme
A smile planted on her face even though on the inside she screams
Can't anyone see her sorrow and despair
No one believes her pain is really there
But she is a woman of great strength
A woman that protects her family so she would go to any length
She is voluptuous
Luminous
Mostly vivacious
Forever she will fight this pain until her death
This burning and excruciating pain until her last breath

Forsake me my clumsy heart
I have known peace and joy
But held them as a baby held a toy
How foolish a mischief on my part

Daring darling endeavours
Gaming the survival tempest
Stunts begrudge in me a shredded grandeur
I have found the misery I sought

After war is peace
The folklore reminds me a call to action
The steps I braved shape me motionless
I fret on how beyond is history ahead of my time

Glory glory
I enjoy the distant story
But my present flow
Praised me master of pain
Novice to tranquillity

Disintegration so delicate
Angonizing my ardor  with great artistry
Destruction going so far with distraction
No allow even the cunning faith of mine to burlglarize its masterpiece