Maybe I just can’t hear it

Maybe, but probably not

What if someone comes along after all, what if all I need to do is sit

Sit right here where he told me too

Like a child scolded and sent to his room Just because he asked, “Daddy, when’s dinner?”

He only asked cause he felt like he hadn't eaten since last winter

I swear by my own life I’m listening

Maybe I just can’t hear it

Maybe, but probably not

But, who knows?

Maybe I’m asking the wrong questions?

Maybe I’m destined to a life of harsh lessons so I can relay the message

Maybe, but probably not

Probably just isn’t good enough for me

How many years of this lay ahead? Two? Three?

Surely it can’t be that many

The trick to practiced apathy

is that it tends to never leave

I’ve known the uncaring flag I’ve flown so long that I’ve forgotten your name

after that day

The passion part of my brain was never the same

It doesn’t boad well for my attempts to stay sane

Sometimes having the strength to carry my own cross really *****

Because it seems no matter how much slack you pick up the world weighs the same

I’m not sure if I can listen to one more someone complain about the pain

because honestly I don’t care who hurts the most, I don’t care what you’ve gone through because you're here now, and for Christs sake quit looking behind you!

Nobody’s back there!

You keep talking and saying “But look where I've been!”

I don’t care! Give me a thousand whens, a thousand wheres, Go ahead, sit down, have some coffee... Share

But if by the end of the day you’re still looking over your shoulder then there’s nothing anyone can do for you so stop groveling

The only person who you can sell your soul to is yourself and the buy back price is steep, so take a step before you make a promise you can’t keep.

The buy back price is steep.

I wish I was a novelist
I could write this into a fairy tale
With love triumphant
While birds sing
bring me songs of simple bliss
I'm sick of something sweeter than this
I'll settle for the dredges at the bottom of my coffee cup
No need for excessive amounts of honey
I'd rather brace myself for the bitter than cover it up
So what's the purpose of money?
I mean really what does it do?
Besides turn me and you into simple creatures
I mean collecting shiny things, storing them for later
That's something the crows do
But even the crows know why they do it
They do it because they like shiny things
do you?
Do you love what you do?
Do you let it consume you?
I'd rather wake up under a bridge with a little chill in my bones
Then in a warm house that doesn't feel like home
So what about you?
Starting fires in a old coffee can, a gift from a friend you've never met
Not quite what you picture happiness to be?
Is it?
But sit down, pass that old sweater around

I'll tell you some story's

Some of the things I've seen even I don't believe
The magic of this city
It still gets to me
Subway tunnels are the damnedest things
People walking around in such close vasinity
Some of these people don't even look around
Have you ever admired the ridiculousness of it all?
What about that guy next to you?
Having troubles at home
Doesn't know if he can finish college
Not because he can't afford it
His trust fund has that settled
But he can't get that one girl in introduction to statistics to say hello
So he picks up his phone more often he used too
Just to look at it
What about the old man
The one all the kids on your block said was crazy
Have you ever seen evidence of those false claims?
Ever thought it was all just hear say?
Pass the message along

Life isn't about all the stuff we stockpile store for a later than never comes

So don't wait for life to hand you what you want you have to take it

go up and make your **** demands

Because this is not some fairy tale

This is not some song and dance

This is life and it'll knock you around

There's a few differences between me and who I want to be

I let it get to me, I fall down

And it takes me much longer to get back up than it should

But that's the key I get back up

I make a stand

I keep the crowd cheering in the bleachers

No matter how small they seem

Weather it's just God watching me, or my family

I'll keep it real

If reality keeps on keeping me

Broken promises

Showing me the faults in the stars I’ve gazed upon since I was a little one

Are you having a good time?

Sitting there in your holy chair as picture perfect, as clean as a saint can be,

Are you truly sterile? Wouldn’t want an infection when you commence the open heart surgery, you’ve removed it.

I don’t need proof to prove it

They say that once you’ve hit rock bottom it’s hard not to bounce back, you’ve shown me how

With a stiff bow you walk away with the grace of a woman trying to save face in front of a dumb mistake

So save the practiced act, I don’t want your sympathy, I’ll have you know I’ve grown into exactly the man I want to be

I’m not perfect, no. Not to say that wouldn’t be nice. But I strive every morning, every night to do what’s right in the eyes of god.

So don’t bother asking if I’ll remember

Three different Decembers

Every single one marked return to sender

So yeah, it’s burned into my mind

So I doubt you’ll find regret in my eyes

Because You’re **** right I had a good time

But most of these things don’t last and clearly you’re no exception

And sitting with you staring at the cosmos on a blanket built for one made for a hell of a story

But while you were counting headlights I was counting stars

I had my sights set a few miles higher than Paris

I had my sights set on forever

I had my eyes on something a little better

But if it’s earthbound you’ve found that you need

I won’t keep you waiting around


I’m grounded now

No way of telling when or how

But I’m fed up with pretending I’m fin

So look into my eyes and tell my this is a lie

I’m not here to ask for you back in my arms

You can keep your distance

I’m not here to ask if you’re happy where you are

Because you can save it

I’m here to request you return the key to my heart

Maybe you can tell me to get lost, a jump start to get me over this mound of compound emotions

Throw me a rope and I’ll go out to sea

My swimming teacher told me when I was three that if I started to drown I had better find a piece of driftwood

Because I’m a slow learner

Well, it’s been about four years since you made your exit stage left

And I haven’t found any sea scraps quite yet

So I’ll make my way to the bottom of the sea

Maybe someone left a barrel of air down there just for me

I can live among the coral reefs

Become my own living breathing anemone

After all there's fish to feed

So I’ll sink because I’m not how long I’ll be able to tread water here

Not sure if I can steer clear of tears




To be honest my dreams are none of your business


When I woke up the white light blinded all other feelings of strife or fight or flight

I just felt like everything was okay and maybe one day I’ll find the key to happiness or world peace or something

When I opened my eyes I was on a decommissioned battleship

Marines and navy men all around me dressed in all white as if saluting the guy who beat off Lucifer himself with some old guys prosthetic leg

What really punched me in the face was that everyone was crying

Faces both familiar and not

As if the wars we fought were for some ultimate goal, some cause that we just don’t know what it is yet

But I swear jimmy left home for a reason

He left us alone because he had too

He had too

Jimmy didn’t phone home because he had other things to do

He had orders to follow through

Jimmy wasn’t on that boat because he had too

When the grenade came to serenade them with it’s explosive follow through kind of tune he had too

He had too protect those other sons and fathers in the room

But He kept your picture right under that little flap in his helmet because he chose too

Because when hell rained down on his little 3 foot mound of earth and dirt he sat behind he wanted to know that you were close too

When one wrong move ends your journey with family and friends you tend to spend less time worrying about if you’re going to mess up and more time wondering if you could just say goodbye first.

I haven't been at this dark of a place in years....

As if all my fears coexist into one big giant fist

It's as if all the nightmares I had when I was younger

combined into a flying feature film staring that guy who dies every **** time

I'm that guy if you were wondering

It's over, I've rejoiced with those hollow words too many to count

It's never over

The war has just begun

It's a struggle to look upward when my shoes seem so appealing

But it's the act of wanting you back

that keeps me in a never ending spasm of heart attacks one after another

I know they say god doesn't make junk

But it seriously seems like he half assed most of my personality

Not because I'm not kind or caring

Actually quiet the opposite

I stick around when ever sticks and stones seem like home compared to finding home in you

I stick around when broken bones don't even begin to reach the discomfort of your glare

I'm ripped into 7 different pieces

I want to live pure and for god but the other three fifths of me wishes for you to just let it be

Let love grow

Maybe

If a flower can't stand up to a summer breeze than the petals will probably fall off

Because flowers need water

You're parched but swimming in a freshwater spring

Like the act of killing my self esteem and dignity in one fowl swing wasn't enough for you

You're gonna point for all to see and shout "HE DID THIS TO ME!!"

But what puzzles me is you're pointing at the sky

So when you die and ask him why

Don't be surprised if he tells you the story of the man on the roof of the flood

So with that I bid you farewell, and good luck.

Speak,

So you can hear them sputter

There lack of all intelligence reaks

Think,

Because it's so much easier

There slack in all vocabulary peaks

Read,

Because books don't lie

And they let you keep it all inside

Write,

Because it's the only truth that comes out of you

Keep it bottled like nobody ever knew

Breath,

Life into this pen

Seethe,

Your anger onto paper

Because you truly believe in this approach

Because on paper maybe others will note

That speaking is a tool to destroy

Respect,

Because maybe they can still see reason

Live,

Because maybe there are reasons

Breath in,

Converse,

Confused,

It's why society stutters

No need,

To speak.