When I was young I wrote poetry to analyze my life.
I felt I had to question everything to figure out what's right.
(Now I know there's no such thing as right & wrong)
Then life got busy, I had children, parties, sports
life became a routine of sorts.
My Passion, poetry seemed to drift away,
occasionally, I dreamed I had time for it to stay.
I felt as though I had become mature, it was something
I should have outgrown. The Lord kept the passion deep in
my heart, one day to be shown.
Then one day a terrible accident occurred to me.
I was T-***** by an F-150.
I believe it was meant to be!
Yes, it brought me into a new land of torture and
Oh, so much pain,
10 broken ribs, ruptured spleen and my pelvis was fractured in 7 places,
but truly it does come to gain!
No, I did not receive a dollar amount or any kind of pride.
I did truly realize my loved ones are always by my side.
I had many days and nights to lay still, in pain, and
realize my painful blessings in life are a true gain.
I did not think about poetry
I laid there in pain.
At that point I did well just to sustain.
Then I started feeling spells of Deja vu,
yet, they lasted even longer than I would ever have wanted them too.
This went on and on for quite a few years.
Many months after all of my bones miraculously healed
I consulted with Doctors who gave me meds that led me to tears.
During this time, fear began to grow in my veins,
it grew so strong, I felt I could not sustain
Then I started to have Grand Mal seizures, at last!
I know, it sounds like I'm happy about that, well,
at least I finally knew what had been happening in the past.
I found an awesome neurologist at UT Southwest,
references said, he is the best.
I felt like a lab rat when they set me up in a room,
put a camera upon me for days on zoom.
the point was to see what part of the brain was damaged.
To see if there was any way possible to get the seizures managed.
Electrodes were placed all over my brain, camera, recording, and an I.V. of fluid to sustain.
They took me off all those seizure meds and shined strobe lights
in my eyes, to promote seizures in my brain.
My husband and my son were there by my side,
I was scared to death, yet I still had pride.
I did not want them to see, what was about to happen to me.
My husband stepped out to eat some food and I was relieved
because anger was building and I was rude!
My son said he had to go study for his exam in college and I
was relieved, I did not want him to see me lose my mind, for I know that is what happens when I have a seizure every time!
He looked at me in my eyes and said "Mother, can I pray for you
before I go, because God is the only one who can save you and this I know." He said a prayer right then and there. He gave me a message toward God you see, and that is just where I need to be. Then he left to go study and the Holy Spirit joined me.
My husband came back and I sent him home. I told him there was nothing he could do and I should be alone. I told him to turn out
the lights as he left, kissed him goodnight and said sweetdreams.
The fear I had gently lifted away as he closed the door, I began to pray. I asked Jesus to be with me and for forgiveness of sins and I felt a
wave of Peace rise from within.
It felt as if I was lifted by a warm blanket all around and the fear of seizures left without a sound.
I had 9 severe seizures on camera that night, I don't remember it all, but I'm sure the ones watching had quite a site.
The outcome was that I was a great candidate for temporal lobe surgery, which I had six months later and it has cured me!!!!!!!!!
BACK TO THE POINT that motivated this long poem,
my mind has completely changed!!!!
Now I see life optimistically, it's a wonderfully, joyous experience,
even the ruff stuff, I HAVE TO EXPRESS GLEE
After the Temporal Lobe surgery an Angel came to me. This is what she said. "I saw the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body will also live in hope, because you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let your Holy One see decay. You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence." ACTS 2: 25-28 That Angel was my Grandma, at the time I thought I was dead and she was taking me to Heaven. Now that I am back in this world I understand what she told me. I never read my Bible before that so when I did hear my minister say this at Church it nearly blew me away. Love one another and live in hope and pray!!!