Red wine has stained my white shirt.
I mutter an explitive
and dab at it with a napkin.
"You're too funny"
She grins across the table.
I rarely see her like this.

She's happy; all her
teeth are lined in a semi straight
row.

"*******," I murmur.
She knows I'm joking.
I know she's joking.
Now all we do is fight.
I'm done with the fighting,
and I'm done with the yelling.

I long for the
night where you were truly
happy with me.

I've lost you, my love.
I've lost that beautiful
*smile

God is my master.
I love Him more than all in my life.
He is the Master of my mind, my body, my heart.
He is my Shepherd.
He is beautiful.
He is love.
He is perfect.
He loves me more than I can comprehend.

God is telling me to stay.
So I will stay.
I cannot leave my church.
I cannot leave my family.
I cannot leave my city.
This is where I belong.
This is where I belong.
This is where I belong.

I belong. I belong. I belong.

In God I am made pure.
In God I am made clean.
In God I am rinsed of my sin.
In God I am white as snow.

Countless second chances He has given me.
Dear Lord, I need another today.
Today - I ask You for forgiveness.
Make me clean again.

I pray for them.
Ryan Kimmy Chiso Becky Dave Iris Mom Dad Kellie Tim Grandma Tim Debbie Laura Grandpa Betty Cindy Lori Shea Asher John Al Brian Teri Pamm Louie Chris Michael Tristan Bailey Victor Nikkie Mailee Andrew The Zachary's Kylie Michael and Megan Jade Airika Allie Bill Moriah Madison Mike Lani Moriah Tori Lenni Todd Maddie Hilary Holly Bella Jamie JT Bella Abby Sarah Anna Rick Ashtin Aaron Aleasha Christian Brian Gus Abbie Jenn Alec Jean Lois Larry Ryan Jake Bud Erin Tyler Jasmine Launts Wendy Michael Bella Sam Tony Ryan Ian Deric Jen Sam Erin Hanna Jamie Chad Mia Laura Tony Alena Tyrus Jack Luke Jenny Greg Reagan Kennedy Wilson Konni Wayne Brian Cammy Trina Mike Kameron Kasey Nikki Lexi Jelly Harley Izzie Rosie DJ Lillian Adrian Avery Asher Tyler Heidi Dan Sarah Ryan Griffin Daniel Jessica Pax Cory Abel Chandra Dave Julia Bethany Chris Orion Lindsay Twila Tracy Brandon Nate Braeden Amanda Jonah Luke Crosby Charlie Mark Debbie Ian Joy Susan Catherine Jeff Jill Andy Anna Joel Jacquie Tracy Shelby Brenden Grace Bruna Brendan Jadan Ariel Rick Johnna Laila Becca Joren Skylar David Lovins Gettys Nanny Papa My Cousins Grace Wanda Lamont Michael Amy Stephanie Tyler Tim Jeff Anthony Mikayla Emily Emily Sabrina Thomas Caleb Rene Sabra Autumn Cort Riley Cole Kaylee Amber Eryn Christina Trinity Bethany Kati Ben Jacob Megan Megan

and so so many more

May God bless you and keep you
Amen

I hear Jesus here.
In this radio - penetrating the holy silence.
In the little girls yelling - playing cards games to celebrate a birthday.
In my boyfriend's frustrated puffs of breath - as he wrestles with homework.
I feel Jesus here.
In the warm air - the ovens heating the frigid Seattle weather.
In the pillows - holding my head up, like the air up above water.
I know Jesus here.
I know Jesus.
I know.
He Knows me.

It's been a long time since I told
You just how beautiful you are,

Not because you ceased to be,
But because nothing equates to you
Anymore --

The seas of metaphor ran dry and
The mines of simile caved in,

And only you remained, my
Warm quilt, my gorgeous
Wonder, my one and only, my
Siren angel, my
Dearest sweetest love --

So forgive this lazy *******,
For forgetting you needed
Reminding.

At this point it may not even
Be a poem,
Just too many intends in a too
Wordy sentence,
But it doesnt matter what it
Is, because all I
Want to get across is that

I love you.

There isn't enough air in the atmosphere
To fill my lungs to where I could
Tell you how much I miss you;
How much I need you.

I'm losing him to the ocean,
Six years gone from me in hope
Of a life, but little does he know he
Doesn't have one
Because he gave me his.

Forever away in a broken home,
Sad and never taken seriously,
He taught me how to laugh and
Never let me forget.

She's all I have left and all I'll ever
Want, and she's my other half, what
Makes me when the rest of me is gone,
The only one who'll see me cry
When I'm left alone again.

And I'll need her, them, us,
For as long as I live.

There is no mountain
I cannot climb
With you beside me