It is becoming
So hard to be that monster
That people admire
Like watching a Trainwreck
Which gives the simple
Something to talk about
And getting older
Makes it more difficult
By the day
I have rendered myself so frail
Fighting a young man's war
Without the concern
Of becoming the old man
Who calls the shots
I fill with worry
That when that beast dies
Because I can no longer maintain him
No one will love
who I actually am
As I wonder
If anyone
Actually ever knew

I swear I thought I saw the devil in my father's eyes
+
N if the devil is my father
Well than who am I
+
I have 2 keep a sad face when im in the streets
+
My life's a sullen sunken song that is on repeat
+
My ***** mani died n vain cuz I never changed
+
I gotta pocket fulla change
I became deranged
+
I seen a lot of people die n get forgotten
Race card, who remember picking cotton
1+
2+

Its the tragedy on bourbon street
God watch over Angelique
Now miss Laveaus gone crazy
Cuz animals took her baby
Now I didn't use 2 pray but on this day im on my knees 2 say
Can u pass 4th forgiveness
Cuz I need some penance

It was a cold day running from the cops in the rain.
Gotta get my hands ***** if I wanna buy a chain
If I do make it out imma prolly go insane
If I do get rich then its prolly off a stain

Hands all ****** as im hopping on the bus
+
Air so cold that my blood turned to slush
+
Growing 2 fast like **** what's the rush
Get rich or die trying
There is nothing 2 discuss

Watching over the charade below
Rich in empathy and sorrow.
Just to be struck by the realisation
That she is me
And I am lost.

I have read a thousand poems,
perfect pastel paintings
of parting affections
or partners reunited.
The ****** being excited.
The mind stimulated.
The soul subjected
to the withdraw symptoms
of a broken-hearted victim
to someone’s cheating whim.

I have seen beauty broken,
flesh cut open,
skin pulled back
like a burlap sack
that holds her heart
a burden of
daring to love
then loving too much.

Identity shredded
by the one who bedded
then left sheets red wetted.

I have read the thin inscriptions
stone written in the arms
of grey angel statues,
and ****** Mary’s sacrifice
how she gave love and life
to be despised
because of what lies
between her thighs.

I have heard the moans
followed by a flood
of suicidal tears.
Each droplet eroding
the confidence
the lover once built.
Till, she wilts.

I have loved
all those broken hearts,
pushed poetry,
past their whispering rain of pain
breaking sorrow’s barrier
to help them clean the stain.

Till, the addiction claims them again
and they fade away
like a snowflake
on the cusp of spring
no longer able to fly or sing
because they melted their wax wings.

My beloveds floats away
on a crimson stream
and I cry in the wake
of losing such beautiful
human beings.

Make it quick.
You are already
killing me slowly
dragging me
through the snowy
thorn covered field,
making my flesh bruise
changing it from pink
to blackish blues
as you spread the abuse.

Just make it fast.
slip the blade past
my ribs and up into
the heart you broke
as you choked
the land I loved
as you grabbed
children by the throat,
while you demonized them
with shaded lies.

Your corruption is poison
and I am tired
of writing the same poem,
so just **** me now.

Been wearing it for a while, the thickest jacket I own,
So **** tight it’s pathetic but it still fits.
Thirty one years and even though it’s snug on my shoulder,
Even though it cuts deep into my armpit,
Till my flesh shifts and distorts, it’s still mine.
Brown leather jacket permeated in ****.
All the baggage, all that angst just won’t quit.
Sometimes, I take it off. Sometimes I let it rest;
Let that leathered nightmare take a break,
From tearing at my tense and tired chest.
Sometime, I shove it in the back of the closet,
But it always returns, whispering in my ear
You missed this failed at that. What were you thinking?
Should have been there? Why weren’t here?
Man I wish I’d been drinking.
**** that jacket; Worse for the ware and tare of life.
Even when I throw it away the stupid coat keeps coming back.
One day I am going to die in that ***** ol’ thing.